Top 10 Stupidest Phobias

The Top Ten
1 Arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth)

This is almost as bad as Anatidaephobia. Peanut butter is sticky. It's going to get stuck somewhere in your mouth, but it shouldn't be hard to get out. Of course, being afraid of choking is fine, but that's the only reason you should be scared unless you've actually choked on it.

This one is kind of funny. Not trying to be mean or anything, but you know. I mean, I wouldn't want peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be scared of it. I wouldn't even consider this a phobia, actually.

2 Anatidaephobia (fear of somewhere, somehow a duck is watching you)

This isn't actually a phobia. I am a Far Side fan and know that the creator, Gary Larson, made a comic about it featuring a wide-eyed man at his work desk, with a duck staring at him in the background. Noobs.

The fact that this phobia exists means that, at some point in time, someone actually had it. This makes me question the real purpose of the human race on Earth. We have a long way to go before we can even begin to understand what kind of duck trauma this individual has had to cause this phobia to develop.

It really surprises me that we, as a race, can dream of interstellar travel but cannot overcome the fear of a duck watching you at all times.

3 Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia (fear of long words)

Fear of hippopotamuses, fear of monsters, fear of equipping, fear of education, fear of phobias. You are going to live a sad, sad life.

The irony is overly understandable, yet it makes no sense. Believe me, I thought I had this phobia. That is why I am never saying this word ever again.

Seriously?! Is it just a word? Imagine if you have this phobia and then you search "what is the fear of long words called"? Suddenly, you see this long word.

4 Panphobia (fear of everything)

Technically, everything can kill you. Pens, walls, even a feather can be deadly if used in the right way. Every little thing can kill the strongest of warriors if used correctly. I could be sitting here, and unknown to me, there could be a knife behind me. I could move weirdly and get stabbed by it.

Just more things to kill everyone, leaving you all alone. Defenseless, not knowing what's out there. Silently sitting there, missing your dead friends and family. Sorry, my monophobia is coming into this.

5 Biophobia (fear of living things)

So, you're not scared of corpses, but you are scared of the little Girl Scout next door?

So, they must live in a cemetery because there are no living things there. But wait - you are the only living thing there.

You can't be alive because you fear living things. You can't even tell a doctor, a living thing.

6 Deipnophobia (fear of dinner conversations)

I just go eat in my room and hang with my cat while I eat. I'm not afraid of dinner conversations. I'm just usually alone when I sit in the dining room and eat. I do love dinner conversations though, especially with my 6-year-old brother.

What if you just communicated that you will not speak? And instead of speaking, you would just use sign language? Laugh out loud, that's so funny.

I don't have this phobia, but I don't think it's funny because I hate talking at dinner. I hate it either because of my shyness or maybe I actually have this phobia.

7 Ambulophobia (fear of walking)

This would only apply to people that have something wrong with their legs. If someone else had it, would they just run instead? Navigating school would be very hard.

Lazy world starts with this person. Everyone who is lazy wants to have this phobia.

How do people with this phobia get anywhere?

8 Paraskavedekatriaphobia (fear of Friday the 13th)

This superstition has its origins in Christianity. At the Last Supper, which was on a Friday, there were 13 people at the table (Jesus and his 12 apostles). One of them was a traitor (Judas). That's why many people still believe that this day is a day of bad luck.

There's no need to be afraid. It's just a date. There's no need whatsoever to be superstitious, scared, or worried that something bad is going to happen. It's just a date, people. Don't listen to the conspiracy theories. They're just theories.

It sucks though.

- My grandma's dog died that day.
- The power always goes out or is close to.
- There's always a thunderstorm.
- Dad, please stop. Jason Vorhees isn't coming to kill us.
- Dad, neither is Michael Myers.

9 Phobophobia (fear of phobias)

If fear of fear is pretty much the fear of being afraid, which is a lot more common than it should be, I can see why people would have it. Maybe some traumatic events or they're trying to look tough around someone.

Don't worry about it. Then you won't have to deal with it (mind-blowing). Also, would the worst superhero have this fear?

Fear of fear? That means you are having a fear now and you are afraid of it again and again.

10 Didaskaleinophobia (fear of school)

Me! *Raises hand* The teachers are the worst. "Homework! 24,642,455,446,700 more pages of HOMEWORK!" Soon enough, I'll die of exhaustion when I'm carrying my backpack home.

I mean, I feel like everyone somewhat has a fear of school. I have a fear of school due to bullying, yet I have to go back in two days!

If you had this phobia diagnosed by a therapist, would you have to go to school?

The Contenders
11 Bananaphobia (fear of bananas)

I can see why someone would be afraid, but it wouldn't be the bananas themselves. It's what can be in the bananas. I'm terrified of spiders, so I check my bananas. If you don't know, Brazilian Wandering Spiders, the most dangerous spiders, like to lay their eggs either inside or on the outside of bananas.

I'm not afraid of bananas. I quite like them, in fact. I'm just afraid that spider eggs will be there.

A banana? Really? The only logical reason to be afraid of a banana is the fear of banana spiders. Even then, you wouldn't be afraid of the banana itself, but you would be afraid of the possibility of a deadly spider in it.

12 Ithyphallophobia (fear of seeing, thinking about, or having an erect penis)

I think people with this fear find erections weird or are afraid of people seeing them. Those are the only two reasons I can think of. However, I love having erections.

I don't understand this phobia.

Don't even bother saying "good morning" to men with this fear.

13 Euphobia (fear of good news)

Have you ever heard the album "Good News for People Who Like Bad News" by Modest Mouse? It's great for people with this phobia.

This phobia is just sad. What if your friend had it and the doctor gave you the good news that he is cured? Is that bad?

Why? Everyone likes good news. Good news usually means good things. Like, I would get it if it was for bad news, but good news? Give me a break.

14 Cherophobia (fear of happiness)

I have this. The fact I am happy, finally succeeding in my goal. But there is always this stupid pattern. I let my guard down. That one person comes. They ruin everything. I haven't succeeded in my goal for five years. I can't, even when I achieve it.

The pattern will come up. So what's the point of being happy when some of your closest friends have died already?

Imagine having this. Having this basically means you were almost never happy your whole life. Okay, I'll admit I'm negative pretty often, but this is just too much.

15 Pentheraphobia (fear of mother-in-law)

If the mother-in-law was abusive, then this might explain it.

Everyone is afraid of their mother-in-law.

Hah. This is the stupidest phobia known to man. Yet, it's understandable.

16 Chrometophobia (fear of money)

Seriously? Laugh out loud. Everyone needs money, and some people are willing to die just to have it.

Germaphobes also have this. Most people who have this most likely live on the streets because they cannot afford anything.

This is so ironic, considering the people who would do anything for money.

17 Xanthophobia (fear of the color yellow)

A fear of a color, really? It's not even like a specific thing. It can be anywhere! I know a lot would disagree, but yellow is one of my favorite colors.

How? I guarantee there is at least one artist who has this, and they are probably really bad at art because of this stupid and very irrational fear.

I guess I kind of have this. A certain shade of bright yellow makes me feel sick (weird, I know). But to be scared of it? Really? That's just plain stupid.

18 Trypophobia (fear of holes)

This phobia doesn't exist. People who claim they have it don't even know what a phobia is. Of course, pictures of trypophobia are disgusting and unsettling, but it's common sense to cringe at those pictures. It's just like seeing people with serious physical diseases or the effects of the Crocodyl drug on skin.

I feel very unsettled when I see pictures of those, but that's common sense.

If I look at a hole, I don't find it scary. But google this phobia and have a nice day, my friends. If you don't have this phobia, you must be sick inside.

19 Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia (fear of the number 666)

It's not stupid. The number 666 is meant to be "The Number of the Devil," or as some people I remember used to call it, "Hell's area code." These names might seem silly, but the fear is very real.

Whoever named this must have just smashed their keyboard.

The number 666 is just a number. There is no such thing as the mark of the beast. Get over it.

20 Medomalacuphobia (fear of losing an erection)

I have spent over $3,000 on Viagra in the past eight months. I have had an erection for the past eight months as well. I just take like six of them before I go to bed each night and I wake up each morning with my erection still there.

I have this phobia and it is very stressful. I buy more Viagra than water.

21 Homophobia (prejudice against homosexual people)

So you hate me just because I like someone of the same sex as me? Okay. You don't even know me personally. Yes, I know it is a sin, but the Bible says that you shouldn't judge anyone. Plus, it's a hate crime.

You just look at a gay person and decipher my entire life based on how you think I lived my life. But whatever, dude. Have a blessed day.

"Man shall not lie with man as with woman. It is an abomination." Leviticus 13:22 Translated into redneckenese: a man and a man shouldn't have feelings of love for each other like a man and a woman would. The same goes for a woman and a woman. It's a sin.

But don't treat gays like scum or anything. I have plenty of homosexual friends.

22 Omphalophobia (fear of belly buttons)

It's not that you have a belly button yourself. It's the fear of someone touching your belly button. What if you had this phobia and you were pregnant? Looks like the doctor is going to have a long time.

I probably have this. I'm seriously afraid of my belly button. It's basically a hole that leads to your guts. Like, what if it rips...

But you have one! How can you be scared of a belly button?

23 Pteronophobia (fear of being tickled by feathers)

I'm scared of ANYTHING touching my neck. Literally, if I'm lying down on grass, I have to get up because the grass touched my neck. Probably because I'm insanely sensitive and get extremely aroused if anyone even strokes my neck. And people wonder why I wear a scarf inside.

I guess a lot of people don't like being tickled, but an actual phobia, that's something else.

Laugh out loud. There is a fear of having an erect penis. Just wow. What about sex?

24 Agyrophobia (fear of crossing the street)

I have this fear, mostly because I fear getting hit by cars, and I have to run, and I'm superstitious. What if I step on a crack? Yeah, not fun.

What if your mom asked you to buy drugs because she needed it, and you had to cross the street? Would you not follow her?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I feel bad for all of you who have this.

25 Triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13)

I understand that it's a real fear, but it's kind of confusing. Why would someone be afraid of the number 13?

Like, the number 13 is a bad luck number, so whenever I think 13 is the perfect volume but then the fear kicks in, I just set the volume to either 12 or 14.

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