Top 10 Most Illogical Moments in the Bible

The bible is full of moments that completely defy logic. And I've compiled a list of 10 truly illogical bible moments.

Somebody once told me "Just because some of the stories aren't true doesn't mean the whole book isn't true!" No that's exactly what it means, it ruins its credibility. If someone lies to me, they're a liar and I won't believe anything they have to say. That goes for the bible because I really don't think any of these stories even happened. They're so incredibly far-fetched. If you believe all this stuff listed below actually happened then you need some help because these moments are just too crazy to believe as fact. Also if you have a bible moment to share, feel free to submit it.
The Top Ten
1 The first two people on earth (Adam and Eve) being told by a talking snake to eat a fruit that God said not to eat

It's impossible for everyone on the planet to be descended from only two people.

Snake: Eve, eat this apple, for it is delicious. Eve: *Looking at selfies of Adam on her phone*

The whole story of Adam and Eve is completely illogical.

2 Noah's Ark and the Great Flood

Why should children die for what their parents did? Also, Noah's descendants would've died out from inbreeding.

3 Moses parting the Red Sea

Some Biblical powers.
Powers you don't hear of in reality, just in the Bible.

4 Jesus being resurrected and ascending into heaven

Heaven - wherever the hell it's supposed to be? According to the Bible, it sounds like a really boring place to live after death.
No one cries? That makes me think of preschool shows where the characters always smile.
There is no nighttime - wow, no more night parties, people, if this place exists. (I know not every Christian is a nutter.)
God gives you a mansion. Everyone in Heaven lives in a mansion. Sorry, I'll choose Hell. What happened to Earth with houses, flats, tower block flats, posh flats called apartments, bungalows, cottages, shacks, huts, mansions, palaces?

5 Balaam's talking donkey

Ahaha, I didn't even know there was a talking donkey. I know the talking snake has always been called Satan but was written as Serpent. But the donkey? It's like Shrek.

Did it have the voice of Eddie Murphy?

6 God making the sun stay still in the sky for an entire day

I actually always felt like the Earth is a sentient, living being who is full of love. And that she has agency and listened to her creator for this.

7 Jesus being born from a virgin birth

I think you missed the point. He is the son of God.

8 God turning Lot's wife into a pillar of salt

Maybe she wanted to see if there were any other survivors.

9 A man living for over 900 years
10 God turning the water of the Nile river into blood

I think this so-called Rapture is where all the water on the Earth is supposed to become blood. Maybe the Rapture happened in the Bible.

The Contenders
11 Jesus walking on water
12 Jesus curing lepers by touching them

His miracles, but only Christians believe this anyway.

13 Jacob's stripped cattle
14 Purgatory vanquished with a stroke of the pen and a spurt of holy water.
15 God creates an entire language in a matter of seconds
16 Jesus miraculously feeding 5,000 men with five loaves of bread and two fish
17 God making the first rainbow after the flood
18 Plague of Frogs
19 Bread is flesh and wine is blood of jesus
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