Turkey Vents: Sexual Songs

Turkeyasylum Hey guys, it's yet another blog by Turkey. We all know the qualities of a good song: it should have a good voice, a good beat, and it should tell a story. Let's stop right there at the story part. A modern trend for the story a song tells is usually love. It's become such an overused, trite theme for a song these days! We've got breakup songs (courtesy of Taylor Swift), seeing each other for the first time, dating, not feeling like the love is right for you, and "gettin' it on". And by that I mean sex, twerking, naked asses, and maybe even a lap dance. This is a rant about sexual songs/inappropriate content.

Our first example for a sexual song is Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding. After getting other pieces of torture from her, such as Lights or Burn, we get... this... thing. She manages to have a decent beat and flow, but it's the lyrics that count. She wrote the song for Fifty Shades of Gray, so we're obviously not surprised about the lyrics. But there is a limit. Here's a few lyrics in the chorus:

"Love me like you do, love love love me like you do,
Love me like you do, love love love me like you do,
Touch me like you do, touch touch touch me like you do,
...what are you waiting for?"

Isn't that a bit too sexual for a song played on the RADIO? This song crossed the line between what is considered a song and what is considered porn.

Next, we take a look at Anaconda. Nicki managed to make a song even worse than Stupid Hoe. How that was possible, we don't know. First of all, she borrowed exact content from another song, and she failed to give much credit to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. She also failed at her rapping. It was as slow as a slug going up a 90 degree hill. And she is also known for her sexual lyrics and music video in this song. What does the video include? Twerking, twerking, and twerking. Oh yeah, and I forgot the part with twerking. And the part where she twerks in a thong just so we can see her plastic ass. Who thought it would be perfectly fine to let any of this make it on the mainstream so we could all see them? I don't know, but if (s)he reveals themselves, be prepared for me to pull out the handgun...

Those were just two examples of sexual songs. TWO. There's also Whistle by Flo Rida (about blowjobs), Internation Love by Pitbull, and Bang Bang by Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj. All of those are also culprits of sexual lyrics/videos, and sadly it's becoming mainstream among Americans. This right here is why the ten year old boy down the road knows what a vagina is. Venting over, Turkey out.


I was singing sexual songs from the radio since I could toddle. Honestly, most of it flew over my head. I didn't know what it meant, it took me ages before I figured out what the "anaconda" was referring to. I don't think there's much harm as long as they don't know what it is and don't holler the words everywhere. Though I suppose its annoying and disgusting to see sex misused for a profit in radio stations. Real sex should mean something and popular music doesn't exactly promote that - keycha1n

Agree with you on that. I think we all sang sexual songs when we were little... - Turkeyasylum

Bravo - bobbythebrony

Will everyone shut up already! No one gave a f*** about cannibal corpse, but if it is a rapper, unacceptable! A song isn't going to make us into a rapist in 3 minutes! Gosh.. - gemcloben

Cannibal Corpse isn't essentially mainstream music. This makes it so only limited people hear them, so it's more tolerable. - Turkeyasylum

I think people overreact. kids aren't gunna hear a song on the radio and become a horny 3 year old. - gemcloben

Only bad parents will let their kids listen to that kind of crap. - visitor

Cannibal Corpse just horrible group... - 05yusuf09

Blow by Beyoncé is about the same thing as Whistle, but catchy beats - JaysTop10List

And hopefully no annoying whistler. - Turkeyasylum

Yeah - JaysTop10List

By the way, sexual songs was in the 90's and the 80's. Ellie made that song for a sexual movie, so it's supposed to be over the top, because the movie is over the top, why can't the song? And also, twerking was popular in the 90's top thanks to Sir-Mix-A-Lot. Being naked was in the 90's to. Lap dances... I think was in the 90's too. No matter what you say, there's always going to be sexual songs out and there's nothing you can do about it. You're reason is invalid, no offense - JaysTop10List

I understand your point. My problems with sexual songs are when they're played mainstream and young children hear them. It's plain torture to hear someone sing a song they don't know the meaning to. - Turkeyasylum

Yeah, it's pretty bad for the children. Children are too young - JaysTop10List

We can all agree or disagree with this post. But here is a quick explanation to this post Turkeysaylum:

S is a theory I've had since the McGucket theory was disproved (so about 2-3 months), and I really did think of it myself! Yet, I knew without a doubt, that eventually, many others would have the same idea. So yes, I am making this mostly so I can say "I called it! ".

Yep, that's how much I believe in this theory, but if it turns out to be untrue, I'm going to feel pretty stupid. I haven't encountered an in-depth explanation online, but since it's starting to surface, I kind of just want to cover it before others do (just being honest! ). So here is why I believe in this theory! Other than that, expect some spoilers.

The Idea:

I'm going to assume it's easily inferred, but I'm going to make it as simple to understand as possible, just in case. In the show, it's 2012. Let's say 20 years later, 2032, Dipper decides to return to Gravity Falls to study it. In order to get there, he time travels to 1982 (the mysterious, important date we see plastered everywhere), or 1976, 6 years earlier, as the book stated it had been 6 years since he'd begun studying Gravity Falls. So Dipper from 2032 is in 1976/1982. It's likely he wrote the journals and put them where he knew he'd discover them. Also, while we don't know what the portal does yet, Dipper is most likely the creator as well. I think the idea's viability speaks for itself, but in case you need proof...


Dipper is the most curious person in Gravity Falls. He is the one most concerned about all the secrets. It makes sense that a character like him would return, write the journals, and put them where his younger, future self would find them. Even the invisible ink might've been put there because he knew he would discover it. His curiousity has proven to have bad outcomes, like when he rose the dead in "Scary-Oke". Dipper is morbidly curious, and intelligent. The author is very handy, and does so many scary things for the sake of science, like house all those crazy things in his bunker. One can see the similarities between the characters and their tendencies.

It doesn't matter how many fingers Dipper has. All of the children (except for Gideon), has 4 fingers. When asked about this interesting design choice at a Comic-Con panel, Alex pulled out "The World's Most Distracting Object", as a humorous way to deter the audience. He said that it would all be revealed with time, but that he couldn't say so right now. Obviously, they don't all just happen to have 1 less finger than everyone. For all we know, they all have 32 fingers! Dipper may have 6 fingers, but we can't tell because this design choice obscures it, and why would Hirsch withold information as seemingly meaningless as this, from us, if it wasn't important?

We've known Dipper the longest. It's lame to bring out a random character from nobody-ville and reveal him to be the author (something I'm constantly worried they'll do with "A" in Pretty Little Liars), and I have full confidence that Alex knows this too. We care about Dipper, we've known him since the beginning. Since Alex said that the entire storyline has been plotted out, even before production, we can assume the author is someone we've met really early into the series.

Dipper seems to know the author. We see Dipper writing in the journals towards the end of the last episode, suggesting he has a similar writing style, and from further examination of the book, similar handwriting too. Dipper appears to have some sort of connection with the author of the journals, and that would make a lot of sense... If he was the author!

It doesn't kill the Stanley theory. I strongly believe in the existence of Stanley, but I don't think he's the author. This is a way to believe in both theories, so one doesn't have to choose between them. Dipper is the author, but Stanley is still in the picture. These theories can coexist. Also, Stanley doesn't fit the "visiting researcher" McGucket described, as he definitely lived there for quite some time. It was in fact, probably Dipper who lived in that mysterious room in "Carpet Diem".

Dipper's Guide To The Unexplained. This is going to be a bit difficult to explain, but in "Under The Bunker", we see a page that reads: "Experiment #210 the ShapeShifter". Sounds a little familiar to "Anomoly #__", right? This may be hard to believe, but one can see the similarities between the numbering and writing style. It also looks hauntingly similar to "Experiment #78" (electron carpet), meaning the author probably stayed at the Mystery Shack, probably in the room.

The 6-fingered glove. This glove is owned and worn once by Grunkle Stan in the portal room, it was stated above that Dipper may have 6 fingers, and probably stayed at the Mystery Shack, and built the portal there. He may have left his glove. Dipper already has a connection to the Mystery Shack, it makes sense that he would stay there during his time-travel visit.

It's pretty original. I wouldn't say it's never been done, everything's been done. But it's far more original and complex than the original McGucket theory. The completely overwhelming evidence for the McGucket theory was just to mislead us, yet this theory has just the right amount of evidence, complexity, and unpredictability I would expect from Alex. The evidence is all stuff most people wouldn't take into much consideration, a much more real "aha! " moment on the writers behalf.

Was that convincing enough? I know I probably forgot something important, but I just hope this was enough to make you believe in my theory!

-PositronWildHawk - visitor

Haha, you wrote this on the wrong post.. maybe you should ask Keycha1n if it's the right one. - Turkeyasylum

Was that just a copy and paste? I'm so confused... - keycha1n

This was not me. - PositronWildhawk

This is not a Gravity Falls post dude. AND YOU ARE NOT POSITRON OK! Stupid impostors. - RiverClanRocks

Troll. Your not the real PositronWildHawk. And what does Gravity Falls have do with anything? - cosmo

Hey people, we have a pos impersonator making a comment unrelated to this post. - Skullkid755

Sexuality has been a thing in music since the '50s. Where do you think the term "rock and roll" comes from? As our society has become more liberal, the sexuality has merely become more blatant. Believe it or not, people in the '50s said exactly the same things about Elvis. If you don't like it, don't listen to it, but don't call it a "modern trend".

Don't take this the wrong way--if I didn't respect you and your work, I wouldn't even bother criticizing. And for the record, I don't care for radio pop either. - PetSounds

Well, realizing this... it has been around for a while. Just look at Push It by Salt And Pepa as an example. - Turkeyasylum

So you've just realized that lots of songs are about sex? Dude, people have said that same thing not only five, ten, twenty years but since the days of rock was at it's starting peak. Sure, you could give it that mabye the way it's delivered nowadays is a bit awkward but still doesn't change the fact that it's not a "modern trend." - visitor

He's not bothered by that, he's bothered by the fact that they get public radioplay where a more adolescent audience (like me) can hear them. - WonkeyDude98

Well personally this post is not the best but I can agree a little.

-PositronWildHawk - visitor

Who are you and what have you done with Positron? - PetSounds

The real pos wouldn't have capitalized the "hawk". I wonder who this person is. - keycha1n

How could you be Positron's long lost twin? I'm his long lost twin, and surely there aren't two of us... LIAR! - PetSounds

Er, getalife.com? - Puga

What are you doing. You're an imposter! - visitor

Sitefornolifers.com? - visitor

Quit it impersonator! - Skullkid755

This post is accurate. But there has always been sexual songs. Sexuality has been a thing since the 50s. But I'm not criticizing. anyone. As our society has become more liberal, the sexuality has merely become more blatant.

-Keycha1n - visitor

You're a fake Keycha1n I know it... - Turkeyasylum

What a constructive, original comment!

-John Cougar Mellencamp - PetSounds

Very flattered that I'm worth inperosnating! - keycha1n

The imposter has many forms now! - Skullkid755

Oh crap, I didn't log out.

-Puga - Puga

Will you marry me Puga?


Haha, just kidding. It's Turkeyasylum. - visitor

Shut the crap Puga!

-Puga - visitor

How does one shut a turd, Mr. NotPuga? - Puga

What is going on!? - visitor

Well it all mostly depends.

-Turkeyasylum - visitor

Kiss me!

-Gemclasylum - visitor

What's with all the impostors?! - Therandom

Listen to PetSounds! Do you think he's chicken or something? Just saying...

-JaysTop10List - visitor

This guy speaks the truth. - PetSounds

You retarded ass... - JaysTop10List

Can I haz Poland now?

-Adolf Hitler - visitor

Would you also like a side order of Yugoslavia with that?

-Adolf Hitler's Country Waitress - Turkeyasylum

No, you can have Russian Weather.

-Josef Stalin - Puga

Only if you give me half.

-Joseph Stalin - PetSounds

I want it all
-Freddie mercury. - muffinkid

I think the poser is mlpyes_pawpatrol_no logged out. I mean, they're already posing as other users by copy and pasting other blogs. - Puga

I went to the mountain and fell off. It was an interesting mountain according to science it had 2 atoms and 5 scoops of oxygen. The end!

-cosmo - visitor

America's days are yet to come.

-Barack Obama - visitor

What the heck?!

-Koopaiscute - visitor

I shall destroy it!

-Hillary Cliton - visitor

I keep faking ids

- Visitor

- - RockStarr

Now politicians are on this sight! Admin, help! - Skullkid755

My leprechaun was a pooey.

- Some kid in nursery. - visitor

I eat sandwhices! Delicous!

-CartoonsGirl - visitor

My pet Monkey is my gym partner! Really Turkeyasylum this is your fault!

-Garythesnail - visitor

Charlie bit my finger!

- Random kid - JaysTop10List

Haha! You bit your own finger!

-JaysTop10List - visitor

I dance like I'm on fire! I dance like I'm on fire! I dance like my hair is a frog! I dance like a monkey!

-McKing1003 - visitor

Shut the hell up
- visitor - JaysTop10List

I am a sickle bear.

-SuperHyperDude - visitor

Visitor thinks he's really funny, doesn't he? - CityGuru

I eat burgers!

-PositronWildhawk - visitor

Kiss me!

-Superhyperdude - visitor

But I like that Ellie Goulding song and that Nicki Manaj

-PositronWildhawk - visitor

Shut Up

-BigBrotherSucks - visitor

Stop Talking

-BlueDiamondFromNowhere - visitor

Go away you B####

- Gordon Ramsay - JaysTop10List

You...LITTLE POSER! (not you jautop10list but the visitor troll)

-The REAL BlueDiamondFromNowhere - BlueDiamondFromNowhere

No YOU shut up

-CastlevaniaFanboy128 - visitor

Me shut up! - muffinkid

I kill you now

- John Cena - RockStarr

No, me shut up! - 05yusuf09

I am the only good top ten user on here

-PositronWildhawk - visitor

Except that you might not even be a user. - visitor

I a stupid hoe!

- Visitor - RockStarr

I think that sexual songs are better if they stopped playing on the radio. - BlueDiamondFromNowhere

Puga sucks so much.

-common sense - Puga

Sad, sad world we live in because of these songs. - visitor

You people should definitely see Vic Dibitetto's second rant on Justin Bieber. He describes everything wrong with America today. - visitor

I always wanted to watch that! - visitor

Impostors. Impostors everywhere. EVERYBODY RUN FROM THE COMMENT TROLLS! - RiverClanRocks


-Scared CastlevaniaFanboy128 - visitor

Love Me Like You Do is apporipate at any age - visitor

No it isn't. - RalphBob

You should add talking body - MiraiNikkiYunoGasai

I agree, sexual songs suck!

-PurpleYoshi98 - visitor

I am not sure if this is an imposter considering the "fate of purpleyoshi" - Skullkid755

Personally, I like International Love. At least Pitbull is being grateful about the places he's going and...so to speak...what he's doing. It also has a nice beat. The bad thing about it is it has Chris Brown. Kill me.

A better example than that would be Talk Dirty by Jason DeRulo and 2 Chainz. At least Pitbull talked about the women. DeRulo and 2 Chainz just talk about how they are good at picking up people from around the world. Scumbags.

But yeah, you're right. Soon Lil Wayne's gonna get airplay, and Nicki Minaj already does. Also, I can't stand anything from Ellie Goulding's Delirium for that reason. - WonkeyDude98