Top Ten Most Inappropriate Children's Books

The Top Ten
Who Cares About Disabled People

This book is about why you should care about disabled people. I'm sure it's still a terrible book with a seriously misleading title, but I guess the intentions were there?

I have an incredibly important question: How in the actual hell did they even manage to get all of these books published?

Ok, so I figured out more about this book. It isn't actually anti-disability, but it says a lot of negative things about disabled people.

Polly Paints a Penis

You would think this would tell kids not to draw penises in class, but its message is the complete opposite.

Bad message. Do not read this to your kids.

Love this book? Then make sure you don't miss out on the long-awaited sequel joining her sister in Dolly Draws a D***!

Hang on, is this an adult picture book? They are around now.

Who Cares about Elderly People?

Pam Adams strikes again.

This is not right. Elderly people are nice. Some of them can be rude too. One was rude to me once.

Maggie Goes On a Diet

Well, I haven't read it, but if it says that, then it gets my vote. I wish that kind of thing wasn't still around...

Horrible, horrid, awful. Diets are usually bad. Way to put unhealthy habits on kids.

Does it really say "only thin people succeed"? That's an insult to fat people.

My Beautiful Mommy

The title sounds like an embracing of incest. And the kid looks like he has an Oedipus complex.

It promotes plastic surgery.

Go the F**k to Sleep

I actually listened to this on YouTube. It's weird and great and yet still technically inappropriate. I'd buy this book, but not for my sister or any child.

What the heck! And this is supposed to be a children's book? Now I know why our generation is messed up.

Is Jeff the Killer the author of this book?

Mommy Drinks Because You're Bad

Do kids even know what drinking is before 8?

What is wrong with people?

This is why the moms are so rude and talk trash about their children on those dumb mom websites.

Children Are No Match for Fire

OK, this may be a messed-up book, but I'll admit the title made me laugh a little.

It sounds terrible, but the title is so wrong it's kind of funny.

This sort of made me laugh. But yeah, it sounds awful.

Good-Bye Testicles

What? How do you say "goodbye" to testicles?

What is wrong with authors these days...

Why is this even a thing?

The Night Dad Went to Jail: What to Expect When Someone You Love Goes to Jail

Really? Since when do you expect a guide on how to deal with your emotions when Mommy went to jail?

Nah, I think with the USA's incarceration rate, this is probably appropriate.

Not the best book to be reading to your kids. Do not buy it.

The Newcomers

? All My Friends are Still Dead
? Don't Make Me Go Back, Mommy

If you do not know already, this book is seriously about Satanic ritual abuse at FREAKING DAYCARE! Look it up!

Whoever made this book and called it a "kids" book is probably psychotic. Do not read this to your kids before they go to daycare.

The Contenders
I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

A kids' book about drinking. This is also by the same author of titles like My Big Sister Takes Drugs, Saying Goodbye to Daddy, and She's Not My Real Mother.

Feelings and How to Destroy Them

The book for evil and demented children.

Finally, a book for people like me.

Why is Mommy Moaning?

Please tell me this isn't about what I think it is...

Because she's giving you a brother.

No, David!

Damn, David must be one hell of a troublemaker.

I used to read this book as a kid. I remember a page where he was running outside naked right after he took a bath and overflowed the tub.

A kid streaks, and his butt is exposed.

The Loneliest Ho In the World

This book is funny. It's about "hos." It literally says, "As Santa was about to leave, he remembered his hos. Christmas isn't Christmas without hos."

When I first heard that, I burst out laughing.

All My Friends are Dead

Maker of the list: This book is inappropriate.

Me, a dinosaur fan: Sees dinosaur on the book cover.

Also me: I like dinosaurs. That book had one on the cover, and that book is inappropriate. I still like dinosaurs.

That sounds way too depressing!

Sex is a Funny Word

I saw this book at my library in the kids' section. My 10-year-old sister pointed it out. At the time, she didn't know about sex.

Where Willy Went
You Can't Be an Astronaut: It's Just Not Realistic

Well, I want to be an astronaut when I grow up, so screw you, author of this book.

Everything I Want To Do Is Illegal: War Stories from the Local Food Front

I must say it is pretty funny, though.

You're Too Fat to Be a Ballerina
My Big Sister Takes Drugs
Mommie's Hot, You're Not

What to say to someone bullying you.

Harpo's Horrible Secret

This is quite dark for a kids' book.

Flowers are Pretty, but We'd Make More Money Growing Pot
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