Top 10 Questions that the Parappa Spinoff Sequel "Um Jammer Lammy" is Most Likely to Arise When Playing It

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 Since when do dojos, nurseries and even PUBLIC AIRPLANES have casinos built into them? More importantly, WHAT does this have to do with turning random objects into guitars?
2 Why is this E-rated game implying so heavily that Lammy is both a major LSD stoner and an undercover, possibly transgender prostitute?
3 How is Lammy able to play air-guitar with a running industrial-grade chainsaw without accidentally shredding her hands off and bloodily murdering herself?
4 Seriously, WHY are Lammy and Fussenpepper being allowed to fly an airplane together in Stage 4?
5 Why is there an inflation-AND-vomiting-fetish scene in the opening to Stage 3 of this game?
6 What kind of country band other than Primus would unironically write an entire song about randomly finding casinos stuck in its members' hair?

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WHENEVER I'M AWARE - xandermartin98

7 Honestly, why is Lammy so disturbingly sexy even with the in-game paper cutout artstyle applied to her? (Her hair, perhaps? Maybe her voice as well?)
8 How is Cathy Pillar able to infinitely extend her caterpillar body into so many segments that they literally engulf the entire area around her in multicolored bubblegum balls?
9 How does no one notice when Lammy slips over a banana peel, cracks her skull and dies right in the middle of the street?
10 Why do the background audience members in Stages 1, 2 and 7 have so many different types of ludicrous random object for heads?

The Contenders

11 Why isn't Parappa X Lammy canon?
12 Why does this game have no idea how the actual real-life genders of sheep work? (Or what sheep actually look like?)
13 Why is one of the commercials for this game just a car driving through a swimming pool?
14 Why do the menu and loading screens look so cheaply Photoshopped together?
15 Why is Lammy able to get away with crash-landing an airplane into the middle of a parking lot, simply by paying the PARKING METER for it?
16 Seriously, exactly what type of insane hallucinogenic drugs is Lammy on throughout the game?
17 Why was the Parappa side campaign treated as such an afterthought compared to the main Lammy one? And why are Parappa's voice and the cutscene frame rates so horribly compressed?
18 Why did critics pan this game so much compared to the first one when it was clearly so much better and had so much more content to match?
19 How is this so cheap on PSN while the first game is so stupidly expensive?
20 What is with the note-hitting and freestyling detection? Especially in Stages 5 and 6?
21 Why did the multiplayer AI have to be deliberately programmed to be as infuriating as possible?
22 Was having to replay the entire game FIVE TIMES with almost no meaningful variation in order to get 100% completion really necessary?
23 Why did Chop Chop Master Onion suddenly become a hobo?
24 Why is a caterpillar taking care of rabbit babies? And why is her favorite one so fluent in the English language?
25 How did lammy become as fat as a blimp just from eating one single slice of pepperoni pizza?
26 How could anyone possibly be so insensitive as to cheerily make a joke like "house is well-done, but food is medium-rare?"
27 What would little miss literal-giant-thermos-head's baby look like, exactly?
28 What kind of 1990S-era skateboard randomly warps you through hyperspace, then coincidentally stops you right next to a moving airplane?
29 How has fussenpepper not already been fired from his airplane-piloting career yet?
30 Why is there a fax machine just randomly lying around in the middle of hell? And why does Rammy still use a beeper?
31 Why did Hell have to be so cheaply fake-censored out of the American release of the game?
32 Where did all of Lammy's ridiculous time-travel superpowers come from?
33 Why does time move three times slower in the game than it does in real life?
34 How is Lammy using a live baby as an instrument not considered child abuse?
35 Why are all of the local firemen just watching while Lammy has to put out a skyscraper fire basically all by herself?
36 Why are the Lammy cutscenes in this game so hilariously amazing?
37 Why did the animators have to force so much of that creepy early-2000s-era CGI into the game?
38 Why does the Parappa campaign have literally no cinematic context behind how he gets into the situations displayed in the levels?
39 How and why did Rodney Greenblat himself think that the game's title was literally one of the coolest things he'd ever heard?
40 Why does Paul threaten to sexual assault Lammy with a chainsaw in this E-RATED game?
41 Shouldn't this be rated T?
42 How did the Parappa series' Nickelodeon inspiration go from Doug to Rocko's Modern Life so ridiculously fast?
43 Seriously, why couldn't this game alone have had its own anime series based off of it?
44 Why doesn't this game get more credit for basically inventing Guitar Hero?
45 Why does literally everyone in the game apparently want to screw Lammy so badly?
46 What were the developers thinking when they made the guitar peripheral arcade-exclusive?
47 Why are all of the father rabbits in the baby parade dressed as stereotypical black-suited 1950s gangsters?
48 What's the REAL reason that Lammy is always acting so adorably shy and blushing all the time?
49 Is Lammy actually Parappa's adorable guitar-shredding SISTER, perhaps?
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Top Remixes

1. Since when do dojos, nurseries and even PUBLIC AIRPLANES have casinos built into them? More importantly, WHAT does this have to do with turning random objects into guitars?
2. Why is this E-rated game implying so heavily that Lammy is both a major LSD stoner and an undercover, possibly transgender prostitute?
3. How is Lammy able to play air-guitar with a running industrial-grade chainsaw without accidentally shredding her hands off and bloodily murdering herself?
xandermartin98

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