Top Ten Reasons Why Black Metal is Better Than Hair Metal

The Top Ten
1 Black metal lyrics are not sexual or sappy.

Lyrical themes are not meant to be taken seriously

This is true but many are satanic

2 Black metal bands care about their music.

If they care about their music so much, then why does 99% of black metal sound like it was recorded with a cheap Android phone?

3 Hair metal is over commercialized.

Well, hair metal can be a good gateway for beginners to other metal subgenres. When was the last time you've seen someone become a metalhead after listening to some Mayhem?

4 Hair metal lyrics are more profane.

No? I have never heard a single swear word in a hair metal song.

You can't handle a few words?

5 Black metal has a more complex history.
6 Hair metal bands have awful hair and makeup.

I agree with most of the items but not this one. okay like what the hell does appearance have to do with the music? musicians don't have to look super attractive to be able to make good music. also black metal bands literally wear corpse paint and dress like an edgier Satanic Motley Crue so this makes this item even more nonsensical

First of all, black metal also uses corpse makeup.
And second of all, why should the way they look or dress matter? If you don't like the fashion, then fine, but I could care less.

Glam metal artists = Bunch of Gays. They don't need to sing about girls. They are girls themselves. Weird stage performances.

Black metal bands wear makeup (corpsepaint) and dress up like edgy goths though. Also, appearance has literally nothing to do with music.

7 Black metal has better lyrical themes.

Well, I'll agree that black metal tends to be more poetic in their music.

8 Hair Metal doesn't even sound like real metal

Some hair metal bands are kind of metal. Skid Row, Twisted Sister, etc. I wouldn't consider Bon Jovi or KISS metal though.

9 Hair Metal has better riffs

Pretty much any riffs are better than black metal riffs.

10 Black Metal musicians look like interesting elves
The Contenders
11 Glam metal all sounds the same.

Not really. If anything, most black metal sounds the same. The vocalists all have the same annoying screechy voices.

Compare bands such as Poison and Skid Row
You'd here some difference

12 Black metal is more complex.

Great list. And I agree most of these but not with this one.
Actually, black metal isn't really that complex. It just needs a lot of energy on tremolo picking. The riffs are mostly made from endless tremolo picking consisting on different notes. Many non-black metal great guitarists like Ritchie Blackmore, Eddie Van Halen, MAB, Eric Johnson, Matt Bellamy or Dick Dale has tremendous skill on tremolo picking. But they don't use it often. Cause it just makes the sound heavy/fast. So, I think any good guitarist has the skill for playing black metal. But not all black metal guitarist have skills for playing other genres.

For example, You could listen to Buckethead's Soothsayer. There is a very fast tremolo picking. Approximately at 8:00. Which is faster than most black metal riffs.

Complexity < Quality.

13 Black metal has a better variety of instruments.

I'm pretty sure variety doesn't apply to either genre

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