Top Ten Stupidest Ways To Defend Yourself From A Murderer
The Top Ten
I got bandages. - TriggerTrashKid
Why would this be a problem? - SirSheep
If you were to grab this incorrectly,this would result in your hand bleeding. But if you were able to grab the knife at the correct angle,it may be a possibility to get it from the burglar without cutting yourself.
@SirSheep You might hurt yourself with the blade like that - TheDarkOne_221b
Oh the internet, the place where you must explain every sarcastic comment. Sometimes I forget that I'm not saying these things to people in person. - SirSheep
I would headbutt them in the head. - TriggerTrashKid
Seems logical - SirSheep
You’ll shoot your head. - Firemist
I sure that this one will work. Especially if they have a weapon with range - SirSheep
Done that before if worked/works but that was crazy the ending was I never got harrassed like never again
"Before I die, I'll have you know - I'M THE TICKLE MONSTER! " - Cyri
*giggles* - TriggerTrashKid
How about a pillow of rocks?
Pillow fight training shall not work here, old pal.
Depends on the pillow
No! I have candy stuffed in it.
Hey man before you kill me, want to hit up some super smash bros?
Minecraft: Saving lives since probably never.
Hey there! Wanna play Hannah Montana: The Movie game with me?
OH NO SOMEONE'S ROBBING ME! I KNOW, LET'S PLAY FORTNITE! YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, I'M AWESOME IN THE GAME! Then I called 911 (told the burglar I'm calling my parents, then went some place to talk) and BOOM, Burglur got arrested. - TheDarkOne_221b
Totally going to stop a bullet or blade. It holds groceries, so it can hold back murder, right?
No, that won't work. I'm going to use a paper towel
*house catches on fire*
I would wrap it with a toilet paper.
This is Bob, Bob says hi, this is Bob when his house burns down. Bob is homeless now and probably dead. - Firemist
And stay inside to make sure that the murderer burns inside of it. - SirSheep
And then,once Bob set his house on fire,he then realized this was foolish to do. The crook just opened the door and got away. Now Bob is homeless.
I live in a rabbit hole already. - TriggerTrashKid
I would rather use a 45 Defender. - TriggerTrashKid
What if you run out of water though? - SirSheep
Someone tried to rob a bank like this. - Cyri
"Sir/ma'am, I have diarrhea, you might want to wait before you do anything you might regret..."
Well it's rather hard to go when you're dead
I would rather pee on his face.
Hmm...interesting idea, but what about clapping their butt? Would that be an effective technique?
Him and I went on a date after. We're engaged :D
"You are mean! Why are you doing this? My feelings are hurt, I never did anything to you--" *dies* - Firemist
You're invading my personal space - SirSheep
Blood circle! - 0w0uwu
I almost laughed out loud when I read this. Good thing I stopped myself bcs I’m supposed to be asleep rn...
At least offer them something better. Like broccoli. Makes sure that they are making healthy choices in their diet do they can have a better life - SirSheep
I did this but he asked for a cup of coffee so I gave him and now I am fine. - TriggerTrashKid
Make sure to add cream cheese to the deal. - Cyri
*sneaks explosive inside* - Firemist
Dear sir, may I ask you to please put down your weapon? It isn't very nice to hurt someone like that.
Hey Mister Murderer, please put your weapon down, okay?
It's why your parents taught you manners, right?
Thanks for the advice.
This is less of a defense tactic and more of a way to let people know you're in danger.
It's rude to scream at people. Like this list mentions above, please use your manners and be respectful
I would scoop out his eyeballs. This is a legendary weapon. - TriggerTrashKid
I'm at least smart enough to know that you need to use a plastic fork. People these days... - SirSheep
Unless you are the Plastic God, you're going to die. - Cyri
Best way to defend yourself - TheDarkOne_221b
Warning, this cat is 20 pounds overweight, and coming for you at top speed!
*Throws cat food at the murderer*
And sadly, you realize you just murdered your pet.
Cat: *Does nothing*
I don't own a cat.
Seems a bit expensive - SirSheep
What about 56 cents? - TriggerTrashKid
Not gonna work. - Firemist
What if you were in the US and the person about to kill you wasn't from the US and they don't have a legal passport?
Wait! Before you kill me, I shall have you know that I bought you a plane ticket.
LOL, I live in California-
This is actually a very effective. �"Prototype 3
Detention immediately! Principal's office! - TriggerTrashKid
You'll have to go in timeout! - SirSheep
MISTER YARD DUTY, THIS GUY THREATENED TO KILL ME! - Firemist
"NO NO PLEASE DON'T KILL ME NO YOU WILL NOT KILL ME WAAAH! "
*licks* HA HA IT HAS MY GERMS ON IT IT'S MINE! - Firemist