Top Ten Stupidest Ways To Defend Yourself From A Murderer

If you were to grab this incorrectly,this would result in your hand bleeding. But if you were able to grab the knife at the correct angle,it may be a possibility to get it from the burglar without cutting yourself.

I got bandages.

I would headbutt them in the head.

I sure that this one will work. Especially if they have a weapon with range

This only works in a zombie apocalypse with a hot chick covering your assoff. Notice the reference.

Ya then when you go to sleep you have a soft place to rest your head. FOREVER! Mwahahahahaha - Star

Pillow fight training shall not work here, old pal.

How about a pillow of rocks?

Hey man before you kill me, want to hit up some super smash bros?

Hey there! Wanna play Hannah Montana: The Movie game with me?

Minecraft: Saving lives since probably never.

Let's play Mortal Kombat, you'll finish me!

Totally going to stop a bullet or blade. It holds groceries, so it can hold back murder, right?

No, that won't work. I'm going to use a paper towel

I would wrap it with a toilet paper.

What is the point of this? - Star

Dear sir, may I ask you to please put down your weapon? It isn't very nice to hurt someone like that.

Hey Mister Murderer, please put your weapon down, okay?

It's why your parents taught you manners, right?

Thanks for the advice.

This is Bob, Bob says hi, this is Bob when his house burns down. Bob is homeless now and probably dead.

And stay inside to make sure that the murderer burns inside of it.

And then,once Bob set his house on fire,he then realized this was foolish to do. The crook just opened the door and got away. Now Bob is homeless.

I live in a rabbit hole already.

At least offer them something better. Like broccoli. Makes sure that they are making healthy choices in their diet do they can have a better life

I did this but he asked for a cup of coffee so I gave him and now I am fine.

Make sure to add cream cheese to the deal.

Perfect deal you should take it! - Star

It's rude to scream at people. Like this list mentions above, please use your manners and be respectful

This is less of a defense tactic and more of a way to let people know you're in danger.

"You are mean! Why are you doing this? My feelings are hurt, I never did anything to you--" *dies*

You're invading my personal space

"Sir/ma'am, I have diarrhea, you might want to wait before you do anything you might regret..."

Well it's rather hard to go when you're dead

I would rather pee on his face.

Best idea ever! - Star

Warning, this cat is 20 pounds overweight, and coming for you at top speed!
*Throws cat food at the murderer*

And sadly, you realize you just murdered your pet.

I don't own a cat.

I'm at least smart enough to know that you need to use a plastic fork. People these days...

I would scoop out his eyeballs. This is a legendary weapon.

Unless you are the Plastic God, you're going to die.

Seems a bit expensive

What about 56 cents?

Not gonna work.

What if you were in the US and the person about to kill you wasn't from the US and they don't have a legal passport?

Wait! Before you kill me, I shall have you know that I bought you a plane ticket.

Detention immediately! Principal's office!

You'll have to go in timeout!

Hmm...interesting idea, but what about clapping their butt? Would that be an effective technique?

That would make them madder but totally worth it- Star

They'd also be charged for pedophilia.