Personal Challenge: Ranking Billboard's 2012 Year End Hot 100

WonkeyDude98
2012 was a great year...I think. It was interesting, to say the least, but wow the garbage came runneth over at the same time the great songs did. Was it good? Let this be the judge of that:

NOPE TIER (0 or lower)
#100. Birthday Cake: Let me just ask: WHO WANTED THIS?! Who WANTED Chris Brown working with Rihanna over an ear-bleedingly awful beat, describing cunnilingus, doggystyle, and other disgusting acts in detail?!?!?!?
#99. Rack City: What reason was there to buy this? This is the....*snore*
#98. We Run The Night: Surprised this made the year-end. I've never really cared about Pitbull, but that DROP. I'll go out on a limb and say that this song has the worst drop of the decade.
#97. Sexy and I Know It: So...this song stayed....and it's not in last...
#96. Dance: Alla that DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE
#95. Whistle: That whistle on the chorus? The one stuck in your head right now? That's the sound of Flo Rida getting a really good blowjob.
#94. Drive By: As much as Hey Soul Sister was...the worst song of all time, I could at least give it points for nostalgia. This? I can't even give it that...
#93. The Motto: YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO YOLO
#92. Want U Back: The most obnoxious song of all time.
#91. Back In Time: Between this and We Run The Night, I'm not sure how Pitbull kept a career after 2012.
#90. Burn It Down: The fact that THIS turd outcharted Lost In The Echo and Castle Of Glass, is an absolute crime. I like Linkin Park, but this is their worst song by far.
#89. Blow Me One Last Kiss: I want to call this P!NK's worst song, but with Just Like Fire continuing to freefall in my eyes, that might change soon.
#88. As Long As You Love Me: I don't understand why everyone hates Boyfriend so much. THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE.
#87. Where Have U Been: *bashes head against wall*
#86. Turn Up The Music: This is probably the most passive hatred I've felt for any song ever.
#85. 50 Ways To Say Goodbye: Better than Drive By. Anything else redeeming?
#84. Pound The Alarm: That drop.....We Run The Night has competition.
#83. Work Hard, Play Hard: *starts playing Swiggity Swag*
#82. Workout: J COLE WHYYY
#81. Don't Wake Me Up: Bris Chrown.
#80. Turn Me On: Nicki is quite literally featured on a David Guetta song where she's asking this guy to "turn him on". The punchlines write themselves here.
#79. Drunk On You: Look Braan has something for us. Oh, it's just bro country.
#78. No Lie: Just because I defended him in the RiFF RAFF review doesn't mean he isn't awful.

BAD TIER (half-star to 1)
#77. We Are Young: This one shrunk on me pretty quickly. Nate's melismas got annoying, then the charm got lost, then the lyrics started to get really insufferable, and WOW THIS IS A SONG ABOUT NATE BATTERING HIS GIRLFRIEND. Beat's still good though.
#76. I Won't Give Up: Yeah, unlike I'm Yours there's no way I can guiltily like this. I get Mraz is "sincere" with this, but it's so boring and feels so slept through.
#75. Mercy: Yes Big Sean, we know you made a song called A$$, we don't need reminding.
#74. What Makes You Beautiful: Well wouldja look at that, the supposed worst song ever is my 27th worst hit song of 2012.
#73. Wanted: And speaking of One Direction...
#72. Cashin' Out: The very definition of narcissism.
#71. I Don't Want This Night To End: But I want this song to end.
#70. Without You: Usher needs to stop working with Michael Bay producers.
#69. Diamonds: Rihanna and Sia at their worst.
#68. Love You Like A Love Song: I remember liking this...
#67. Let's Go: yick.
#66. Drank In Muh Cup: yick.
#65. Take A Little Ride: uhh...
#64. Somethin' 'bout a Truck: uhh...
#63. Hard To Love: uhh....

Before I move on, I'd like to point out that from the look of this list, 2012 looked more polarizing than really good.

MEH TIER (2)
#62. Titanium: Why did I ever like this song again, let alone as my 10th favorite hit song of all time?
#61. Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You): I guess the groove's fine, but even that feels cliché....
#60. 5:00: why don't i hate this song yet
#59. Feel So Close: *groan*
#58. Comin' Over: *groan*
#57. Not Over You: bleh.
#56. Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself):...Ew?
#55. Even If It Breaks Your Heart:...
#54. Fly Over States: *snore*
#53. U Da 1: bleh.
#52. Good Feeling: Flo Rida and plagiarism go together like cookies and chocolate milk.

DECENT TIER (3)
#51. Boyfriend: I'm not sure why I like this song. Like, seriously, I don't know.
#50. Wild Ones: Sia >>>>>> all
#49. We Found Love: Told you.
#48. Starships: Why did I ever hate this song?
#47. BrokenHearted: Not as good as the No Flex Zone cover. This isn't a joke, it's real.
#46. Give Your Heart A Break: huh.
#45. Call Me Maybe: huh.
#44. Party Rock Anthem: huh.
#43. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together: why don't i hate this song yet

GOOD TIER (4)
#42. Heart Attack: Post-and-pre-awful Trey Songz.
#41. Pontoon: Is it amazing? Eh, no. But it isn't Girl Crush either.
#40. Good Girl: Carrie Underwood
#39. Blown Away: Carrie Underwood.
#38. Scream: *plays a SammyClassicSonicFan clip* is that good enough?
#37. Adorn: Miguel.
#36. Back Home: GYM CLASS HEROES BABY
#35. Hooooooooooooooome: Hoooooooooooome.....
#34. 1.000 Years: Why do I like this and not Jar Of Hearts? I don't know. But something. May take 1,000 years to figure out. I'll go die now.
#33. Ho Hey: The fact that this horrible jingle was what played on those radio commercials is kind of amazing in its own right.
#32. The One That Got Away: Katy Perry not trying to inspire or be awful.
#31. Part Of Me: Katy Perry not trying to inspire or be awful.
#30. Domino: Disgusting, but clevermethinks.
#29. Everybody Talks: ANIMAL, ANIMAL, ANIMAL-ANI--wait that's wrong.
#28. Gangnam Style: 5th worst song of all time my derriere.
#27. In Paris: Kanye doesn't want you in his zone.
#26. Springsteen: This song wishes it was as good as Record Year, which for the record (year) would be the best song of 2016 if the American public didn't have awful taste.

GREAT TIER (5 or higher)
#25. Red Solo Cup: IT'S FUNNY BE QUIET
#24. So Good: I feel like I should love this song way more. I could end up doing that.
#23. It Will Rain: I'm kinder Bruno Mars than most, and this is the perfect example of how.
#22. Young, And Wild, and FREEEEEE: I used to hate this song until I stopped being a square.
#21. Too Close: Who knew a Skrillex knockoff could get this expressive?
#20. Good Time: I'll be honest, with time Fireflies has gotten worse and worse. But this match made in heaven will never get old.
#19. Glad You Came: This isn't so bad it's good. It's so bad it's amazing.
#18. One More Night: It might be my twisted sense of humor, but for some reason I kind of sympathize with the guy.
#17. Climax: Not the climax of his career, but it's Usher we're talking about.
#16. Stereo Hearts: The nostalgia
#15. Die Young: I've been back and forth on this song for a while, but honestly I'm settling it on being unironically amazing.
#14. Payphone: why do i like this
#13. Moves Like Jagger: dat groove...
#12. Wide Awake: Katy Perry actually being genuinely nuanced and intelligent?
#11. Paradise: Coldplay.
#10. Somebody That I Used To Know: We Don't Talk Anymore wishes it could be this.
#9. Lights: Ellie Goulding.
#8. International Love: Electronic rap that features Chris Brown? Only the more likeable side of Pitbull could pull this off.
#7. Set Fire To The Rain: Adele.
#6. Rumor Has It: Adele.
#5. Some Nights: This one's a grower. A serious one.
#4. Someone Like You: Adele.
#3. Rolling In The Deep: Adele.
#2. It's Time: I've slightly softened on Imagine Dragons (mainly because of David Bowie), but it doesn't make this any less optimistically fun.
#1. Take Care: Rihanna takes both of the opposing spots, and despite Drake's soulful, emotional delivery and the sentiment of giving an insecure girl space and time, the gloomy, twinkly production, and the sample, Rihanna is the one who runs away with this masterpiece, with her sultry, burnt out singing and lyrics about helping a guy through emotional pain. This would also be the second time Rihanna tops one of these (in 2010 with Love The Way You Lie), and both her and Drake deserve this. Congratulations.

And totalling that up, we get a...257/500. This is WonkeyDude98, and 2012 was...okay.

And I swear that Bastille review is coming next.

Comments

I know Bastille won't be next. Easy TDA reference.

There are a couple of disagreements.
1. Good Time isn't plagarism, he rightfully sampled it.
2. Payphone has no comment
3. This One's For You has a drop you know
4. I respect your opinion, but LOVE YOU LIKE A LOVE SONG IS AMAZING STFU!
5. How is Alex Claire a Skrillex ripoff?
6. And some MAJOR TIER Changes. - ProPanda

Well if you count the fact that YouTube is the worst thing ever, then you're right.

1. well then move it to the DECENT TIER.
2. Oops. Will fix.
3. Except Havana Brown isn't Zara Larsson.
4. It sounds like dubstep and unlistenable garbage had a baby,
5. WOMWOMWOMWOMWOMWOMWOMWOMWOM
6. Duh. - WonkeyDude98

Blow me one last kiss is a masterpiece though - Puga

Lol keep dreaming pally

Just Like Fire is officially worse though - WonkeyDude98

Good dog. - ProPanda

The charts would have definitely been improved if any single from Good Kid, m.a.a.d city or Lonerism charted. - visitor

Swimming Pools would end up charting the following year though - WonkeyDude98

Why do you hate the Train songs? I'm just asking because I really like those songs. Anyways, good post. - RalphBob

I hate them both for having a performer who is basically unaware of any emotion other than naive giddiness, and that translates into some of the worst lyrics put on paper.

50 Ways To Say Goodbye at least has some nice brass, so compared to Drive By I gave it a pass. - WonkeyDude98

I'm with what ArchAces said. m.A.A.d. city is one of the best rap songs I've ever heard, probably one of the best rap songs in the last decade. - Mcgillacuddy

TPAB > GKMC - WonkeyDude98

Kanye West 's Stronger is SO much better than the one you mentioned.

Tyga is still riding on my pet goat...ugh - AlphaQ

Birthday Cake Isn't The Worst of 2012 After an Album Named Misfortune Came Out A Garbage Called Trumpet Farts by Chris Clown Was Made. - AlphaQ

Diamonds is amazing. - ProPanda

Thate and was aripoff of thedoublea gent - JamesBourne

Top 10 Best:

10.) Springsteen
9.) Domino
8.) Paradise
7.) It's Time
6.) Wide Awake
5.) Some Nights
4.) Lights
3.) Take Care
2.) Set Fire to the Rain
1.) Blown Away

Top 10 Worst:

10.) We Are Young
9.) Drank In My Cup/Casin' Out
8.) Where Have You Been
7.) No Lie
6.) The Motto
5.) Dance ($$)
4.) Pound the Alarm
3.) Sexy and I Know It
2.) Birthday Cake
1.) Rack City - NiktheWiz

#95: You know that joke? That one WonkeyDude98 made? That's the sound of someone taking one of TDA's (or maybe Todd's, I'm not sure) jokes. But I'm cool with it, because it's a good joke to copy. - Samosaurus

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