Worst Stand-Up Comedians Ever

Darrell

The Top Ten

1 Dane Cook Dane Cook Dane Jeffrey Cook is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident.

why is this guy a comedian? if he could just learn to shut up he could be a very successful mime.

"I can't come up with anything inherently funny, so I'll just yell a lot. "

I have never even known anyone who likes this belligerent screaming faux entertainer. He shouldn't be on this list, as calling him a comedian is an insult to every other comedian.

This guy has made me cry laughing so much it's not even funny. How tf is Dane number 1?

V 13 Comments
2 Amy Schumer Amy Schumer Amy Beth Schumer is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer. She is the creator, co-producer, co-writer and star of the sketch comedy series Inside Amy Schumer, which debuted on Comedy Central in 2013 and has received a Peabody Award.

She should be in first. Amy Schumer is disgusting and not funny at all. I would rather stare at a wall for 2 hours than listen to her vulgar, hypocritical jokes. I have never once laughed at anything she said unless it was one of her ridiculous conspiracy theories against conservatives for why her ratings are so low. Amy Schumer is not only one of the worst comedians of our time, she is one of the worst celebrities too. - olliv

If you think she is funny, you need to go into your tool box and grab a hammer. Then grab a permanent marker. With the permanent marker, you need to make a big black dot on your forehead. To make sure that the dot is the correct size, please do this in front of the bathroom mirror. Once you believe the dot is a good enough size to be able to be seen from a few feet away, you will then proceed to try try to hit the dot on your forehead with the hammer as many times as you can. If you succeed, then you too will eventually be as talented as Amy Schumer is.

Painfully unfunny. She's like the female equivalent to Daniel Tosh, only much worse! Hell, I use to like her stuff.

The queen of joke stealing

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3 Carlos Mencia

Everything he does just screams neediness! I can't stand him. He steals jokes and the worst part is they gave that idiot his own show. I cringe and feel the need to vomit every time I see his face.

An annoying, stereotipical, retarded Mexican who steals jokes from comedians way funnier than him. If he at least came up with his jokes, people would laugh at them. - ghmaster1354

The most annoying personality rounded off with the opinions of a stupid schmuck who thinks society is retarded when really it's just him and his stupid stereotypical nature.

Stupid gay fish

V 9 Comments
4 Sarah Silverman Sarah Silverman

I agree with the post: Not terrible, not great. There are way too many people rightly in this list that should be higher on this list that Sarah. She wouldn't be on my worst of list.

I don't know how she is able to sustain a career in comedy. She is extremely unfunny.

Cone on! This woman is talented and I think she's one of the most hilarious female stand-up comedians.

terrible

V 6 Comments
5 Larry the Cable Guy Larry the Cable Guy Daniel Lawrence Whitney, known professionally by his stage name Larry the Cable Guy, is an American stand-up comedian, actor, former radio personality and comedian.

Ugh. How is he so low? How can you laugh at the phrase "Get er done"? What is funny about it? Is it that he say's "er" instead of "it"? He is as funny as a burp. If its ridiculously long you might smile, but that's it.

I think Dan Whitney is a good guy. But, the cable guy shtick needs to go gently into that good night.

I love Larry! Terrific one liners and a likable personality! I don't think he should be on the list. - Ratman18

If you rely on saying Git Er Done to get laughs you need to seriously just kill yourself

V 3 Comments
6 Rosie O'Donnell Rosie O'Donnell

I didn't even know she was a comedian until now.

God, I love the fact oprah put her on her channel to save her failing T.V. Station, but she is just outright not funny.

I've never found Rosie funny.

THE WORST OF THE WORST, and UGLY TO BOOT!

V 1 Comment
7 Jeff Foxworthy Jeff Foxworthy Jeffrey Marshall "Jeff" Foxworthy is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television and radio personality, author, and voice artist.

You know you're a bad comedian when your entire career is based of a list that's only funny to rednecks

Just like Larry, he is a likable person and has jokes that make me roll on the floor in laughter. Shouldn't be on the list. - Ratman18

B.S. the talented Mr. Foxworthy made redneck humor mainstream.

8 Carrot Top Carrot Top Scott Thompson, known by the stage name Carrot Top, is an American stand-up comedian, actor, director, producer, writer, and best known for his bright red hair, prop comedy, and self-deprecating humor.

I swear to god having a dog turd on stage for an hour is more entertaining than carrot top

Was funny the first time, then repeat, repeat, repeat,...

Was never funny. no humour. no intelligence or talent. and you can tell he hates himself because of it.

9 Jeff Dunham Jeff Dunham Jeffrey "Jeff" Dunham is an American ventriloquist, producer, and stand-up comedian who has also appeared on numerous television shows, including Late Show with David Letterman, Comedy Central Presents, The Tonight Show and Sonny With a Chance.

He sticks his hand in a dolls a$$ how is that stand up

This guy is extremely homophobic and his puppets are creepy!

How in the heck is this guy not #1 on this list? He's not FUNNY. Seriously, Kim Jong Un is funnier than this guy!

Who made this list? Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, and Jeff Dunham on the WORST list? Why? - Ratman18

V 3 Comments
10 Kathy Griffin Kathy Griffin Kathleen Mary "Kathy" Griffin is an American actress, comedian, writer, producer, and television host.

Ever seen her stand up specials? Not one funny joke. They're all overrated.

Agree with the above post. I've never heard her tell an actual joke.

Thinks a photo shoot featuring the severed head of The President of the United States is comedy.

Always making dishonest excuses about her so-called "edgy" photo tweet of a decapitated head of our US President. Then again, you cannot wish death on any US president, even if you did it as a joke.

Besides that her comedy is horrifyingly unlistenable and unfunny. The only positive thing I could say about her is her voice role in the animated UPN Dilbert series. Other than that, awful comedian.

V 5 Comments

The Contenders

11 Joe Rogan

This douchebag just shouts and whines, and talks about things he hates, which can be a little funny at first, but then it becomes dull and boring. It's also annoying how he seems to be shouting all the time all through out his routine, as if his audience were deaf or something. His jokes are also not funny.

I was forced to listen to his pod cast today on a road trip... I wanted to jump from the moving vehicle within minutes... It was that bad. He may have a corky thing or two to say if you listen for like 2+ hours, but as a whole he sucks.

Yeah. He's jokes are slightly funny, but all that shouting is seriously annoying. His schtick is that of a college-aged type comedian, but is a balding mid to late 40's, viagra-using douche.

His comedy is for try not to cringe challenges. Every time I feel I should have a serious face but I feel like laughing I visualize his Brock Lesnar bit to calm myself down.

V 6 Comments
12 Gallagher

DAVE CHAPELLE'S BLACK GALLAGHER IS BETTER - djperth

Black Gallager is better.

13 Andy Dick Andy Dick Andrew Roane "Andy" Dick is an American comedian, actor, musician, and television and film producer. Throughout his career, Dick has experienced arrests, legal issues, and controversies. Some of his most offensive moments include indecent exposure, drug intoxication, saying insensitive and racist remarks, ...read more.

Remember that one time where he exposed his genitals at a comedy club?

The fact that he isn't even in the top ten makes us all doomed. - RalphBob

Please make him number one. - RalphBob

Funniest quote "smells like Satan pinched a loaf in here" enough said

14 Russell Brand Russell Brand

Stupid British humor, doesn't deserve to be recognized as a comedian

15 Jimmy Fallon Jimmy Fallon James Thomas "Jimmy" Fallon is an American comedian, television host, actor, singer, writer, and producer.

I have broken down his show into a few parts. 3%- actual talking, 10% playing games, 45%- doing impressions, 52%- laughing. And yes, I know that adds up to 110%. He laughs that much.

He used to be better, but now he just sucks. His T.V. show is awful. The jokes aren't witty and the humor is childish. Every episode is pretty much the same repetitive thing over and over! - olliv

His voice sounds like a gorilla, even worse, my dad likes him of his stupid jokes!

You people are morons and don't know comedy if you think Jimmy Fallon is terrible..

V 5 Comments
16 Tom Green Tom Green Michael Thomas "Tom" Green is a Canadian actor, rapper, writer, comedian, producer, director, talk show host, and media personality.

His material is painful to the eyes and ears.

V 1 Comment
17 Frank Caliendo Frank Caliendo Frank Caliendo is an American comedian and impressionist, best known for his work on the Fox Network television series MADtv, and as the in-house prognosticator for Fox NFL Sunday.

He won't be on any of my best of lists. But his John Madden impression is one of my guilty pleasures.

Impressionists should still have to have a joke or two in their arsenal.

18 Frankie Boyle Frankie Boyle Francis Martin Patrick "Frankie" Boyle is a Scottish comedian and writer, well known for his pessimistic and often controversial sense of humour.

Just goes for shock value for every joke, nothing better than playground jokes.

19 Pauly Shore Pauly Shore

It says a lot when "A Goofy Movie" is by far and away your funniest movie. He wasn't even the main star, and his face wasn't on-screen!

20 Eddie Izzard Eddie Izzard
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List Stats

1,000 votes
76 listings
9 years, 266 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. Carrot Top
2. Gallagher
3. Larry the Cable Guy
BeatlesFan1964
1. Andy Dick
2. Larry the Cable Guy
3. Rosie O'Donnell
RalphBob
1. Dane Cook
2. Sarah Silverman
3. Jeff Foxworthy
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