Top 10 Best Ways to Annoy a Chemistry Teacher

As a physics guy, I've noticed that chemistry teachers tend to be fixed to their subject. And not in a good way, like my humble yet committed self, but in a crazy way, like a hyperactive puppy over your bacon sandwich. Grabs to it without thinking twice, and has its full attention on it.

They're also paranoid about even the slightest mention of another subject, and give evil stares if you say "I'm a physicist" or something similar. I've also had them boast about how chemistry is the most important subject you'll ever come across, period. Sometimes it's just continuous.

So I thought, if you've got a crazy chemistry teacher, their weaknesses are obvious. You can tackle them when they least expect it. Try and tell them it's not a cool kind of crazy. And "kick them when they're down."

Apologies to any chemists reading. I speak from experience, not stereotype. And I know it's primarily chemistry teachers. I've done various subjects in my time and only got it with them. And I've had numerous teachers for chemistry, a subject I like lots but is not my number one.

Enjoy.

The Top Ten

  1. Come into class saying aloud, "Ah, the physics of the outer electrons"

    You'll get a bad reference from the chemistry department, but it will be worth it.

  2. Jump back and forth between two seats in the class, and when the teacher notices, say you're in a superposition of two quantum states.

    It really gets to them. If you want to see a shocked look, go right ahead.

  3. Crack a physics joke in class when they least expect it.

    I once said, "Schrödinger had filing to do. He told a chemist to file. He'd locate everything later." Nobody got it.

    If you don't get it, Google the Schrödinger Equation.

  4. Get your physics textbook out and read about the origins of the chemistry that is currently being taught.

    I love the reaction I get from doing this. Aren't I sadistic?

  5. Wear a physics-related shirt to every lesson.

    Every lesson. It won't work if it's a one-off.

  6. Sit idle in the class, wait until prompted to do work, and then say that you ARE transferring energy

    This would be hilarious, but I'm not a slacker, so this may be a daring one.

  7. Leave your physics textbook out on the table and ask whether it puts more detail into the subject

    How I'd love this. They'd be stumped for words in defense of their subject!

  8. Ask various students in the class whether they know about how physics gave birth to modern chemistry.

    Haha! And it's really true! Why? Because quantum physics (developed by physicists) explained the atomic structure. Who went through all the pain for this? Physicists!

    The atomic orbitals used Schrödinger's equation for their buildup, and chemistry teachers say how beautiful their hybridization theory (or MOT theory) is, which makes "their" chemistry so elegant (although none of these theories would have been possible without the idea of atomic orbitals).

    In fact, physics textbooks explain the chapters on nuclei, atomic structure, etc., in a much better way than our chemistry textbooks.

    As soon as the teacher overhears, a piece of chalk or a whiteboard pen gets thrown at you, but it is so worth it.

  9. If the computer goes wrong, offer to "use the appropriate science" to fix it

    You'll sound a bit odd at first, but they'll eventually get it. However, if the computer fixes itself, it will be massively awkward.

  10. Predict how much energy the teacher will transfer during the lesson.

    Don't make the comments too rude! If you value the bones in your fingers and don't want them smashed, don't go too far.

    11. The Newcomers
  11. ?

    Tell them all chemistry is is physics, math and some long words put together

  12. ?

    Ask them about global warming

    13. The Contenders

  13. Mess with the chemicals

  14. Say "We should be learning the Holy Lord's word of creationism, Ahem."

  15. Turn them into flies

  16. Mention how in bio breaking bonds releases energy

  17. Ask them if they are the one who knocks

  18. Play with a bunsen burner

  19. Put gum in a bunsen burner

  20. Ask the teacher how much more energy they use versus the students, then ask them if they should see the nurse because it is unhealthy to use that much energy per class

  21. If you break a bunsen burner, blame it on it being made horribly.

BAdd New Item