Top 10 Best Ways to Annoy a Chemistry Teacher

As a physics guy, I've noticed that chemistry teachers tend to be fixed to their subject. And not in a good way, like my humble yet committed self, but in a crazy way, like a hyperactive puppy over your bacon sandwich. Grabs to it without thinking twice, and has its full attention over it.

They're also paranoid about even the slightest mention of another subject, and give evil stares if you say "I'm a physicist" or something similar. I've also had them boast about how chemistry is the most important subject you'll ever come across, period. Sometimes it's just continuous.

So I thought, if you've got a crazy chemistry teacher, their weaknesses are obvious. You can tackle them when they least expect it. Try and tell them it's not a cool kind of crazy. And "kick them when they're down".

Apologies to any chemists reading; I speak from experience, not stereotype. And I know it's primarily chemistry teachers; I've done various subjects in my time and only got it with them. And I've had numerous teachers for chemistry, a subject I like lots but is not my #1.

The Top Ten
1 Come into class saying aloud, "Ah, the physics of the outer electrons"

You'll get a bad reference from the chemistry department, but it will be worth it.

2 Jump back and forth between two seats in the class, and when the teacher notices, say you're in a superposition of two quantum states.

It really gets to them. If you want to see a shocked look, go right ahead.

3 Crack a physics joke in class when they least expect it.
4 Get your physics textbook out and read about the origins of the chemistry that is currently being taught.

I love the reaction I get from doing this. Aren't I sadistic?

5 Wear a physics-related shirt to every lesson.

Every lesson. It won't work if it's a one-off.

6 Sit idle in the class, wait until prompted to do work, and then say that you ARE transferring energy

This would be hilarious, but I'm not a slacker, so this may be a daring one.

7 Leave your physics textbook out on the table and ask whether it puts more detail into the subject

How I'd love this. They'd be stumped for words in defense of their subject!

8 Ask various students in the class whether they know about how physics gave birth to modern chemistry.

Haha! And it's really true! Why? Because quantum physics (developed by physicists) explained the atomic structure. Who went through all the pain for this? Physicists!

The atomic orbitals used Schrödinger's equation for their buildup, and chemistry teachers say how beautiful their hybridization theory (or MOT theory) is, which makes "their" chemistry so elegant (although none of these theories would have been possible without the idea of atomic orbitals).

In fact, physics textbooks explain the chapters on nuclei, atomic structure, etc., in a much better way than our chemistry textbooks.

9 If the computer goes wrong, offer to "use the appropriate science" to fix it

You'll sound a bit odd at first, but they'll eventually get it. However, if the computer fixes itself, it will be massively awkward.

10 Predict how much energy the teacher will transfer during the lesson.

Don't make the comments too rude! If you value the bones in your fingers and don't want them smashed, don't go too far.

The Contenders
11 Mess with the chemicals
12 Say "We should be learning the Holy Lord's word of creationism, Ahem."
13 Turn them into flies
14 Mention how in bio breaking bonds releases energy
15 Ask them if they are the one who knocks
16 Play with a bunsen burner
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