Top Ten Exam Questions That We Wish Were On Every Exam

People tend to hate the idea of exams, but hopefully these questions, if adopted by the boards, will make the experience much more pleasant. Which is unlikely.

The Top Ten

What is your name?

I have seen university students who have left this one blank (though it wasn't a graded question, it was still on the score sheet).

I'm not sure, but I think my name is Nike. It's written on my shoes.

Yeah, us boxes don't really have names, so that's a problem...

I'm...um...who? Oh yeah, I'm Heaven In Hiding. I only live for 3:28.

Do you want a chocolate?

Yes, I would love a chocolate, please and thank you.

I'm up for the dark one, I mean dark chocolate.

Tempt me of food how dare you!

Of course, who wouldn't?

What grade do you wish to achieve? Place an "X" in the box next to your answer.

Interesting how most have given the same answer, is it not?

Probably the right time to be a narcissist, I guess.

That would be a good and easy question

A+ to impress my parents

Do you want to do this Exam? A) YES B) NO

Definitely the best question in an exam.

Who in their right mind would pick A?

This should be top in the list.

Well, of course not.

Are you concerned about failing this exam? Yes/No. If No, please move on.

I know I will because I said that's what I want my grade to be, so of course.

No, what happens is what ends up happening.

My Asian parents would be concerned

What do I do if I chose Yes?

Explain your proof of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. You may use Google to help you.

I don't want this question. I don't know what that is!

"Can I use Google for this part? " "Of course. Duh."

Google isn’t helpful at all today, so unfortunately, I can’t answer this question, sorry.

''Is there a IDFK option? "

This question treats two stationary masses: the pen and the paper. What is 2+6?

Took me half a second. Automatic response of my brain or something.

Well, that took me about 2 seconds. What about you, matey?

That's one tough word problem.

26, duh!

Do you wanna build a Snowman?

Well, I've never seen snow before so sure, let's do it!

Yes, I certainly would like to in my spare time.

No, there's no winter in my country.

No, because I hate lame old winter.

Do you like waffles?

Yeah I like waffles!

I like blue waffle

My fave breakfast

No.

Do you hate exams?

Yeah. They give me anxiety

Yes, they are stressful.

Who would like them?

Hello yeah!

The Contenders

Explain the significance of Hitler being an absolute Nazi.

I think I should replace him as an absolute Nazi. Oh, wait. I am not an ultra-conservative, just semi-conservative.

That he becomes THE "Adolf Hitler". Basically, that would explain a lot.

Like he wasn't enough to be already established.

He killed people and started WWII

Translate the following into Italian: Perché sto prendendo questo fastidioso esame?

In English, this says "why am I taking this annoying exam".

Hm... may I use Google Translate for this? Laugh out loud!

Google would probably manage to mess it up somehow.

The philosophy of Google is that nobody can ultimately know the purpose of Bing.

Why I am quiet and not mischievious?

What's 1+1?

Could be 2, 11 or window if they put =

It's 11! Easiest question.

It’s simple. You see the problem, 1+1. Take away the plus sign, and you have 11!

Is steak awesome?

Yes (unless it you're a vegetarian or vegan)

Until I was vegetarian!

No. (Come at me butt hurts)

Sometimes.

How old are you?

1 year old and I know everything on the test.

Older than you.

Currently 21, ''Why are you here then sir! '' ''To prove I'm not a moron.''

I’m 99. I’m only in this here school to see my grandkiddies take this test so I can sew their failing grades onto a sweater and make them wear it on Picture Day!

What color is the sky?

Hmm let me guess is it color saturatedsunrise

Red

Hmm...Purple.

it is pink

The shaded part of the paper is different from the unshaded part of the paper. Draw a line between these differences.

Ayyy here's one I'd be down for. I could even add my own shading and make it look pretty!

''I got a whole that is shaped of a persons rear uhuh huh'' - Butthead

Hmmm (*gets out calculator*) 1,456,679,998,789!

How many stars are on the American flag?

Depends which American flag you're asking about. If you're doing an exam on American history, chances are you'll get a flag with between 13 and 50 stars, inclusive.

Only good for americans

2 and 8/109

13 where originally back then in 1787, but as of 2018 it stands at 50.

What's 9+10?

Do you want to know a simple solution to all math problems? Just take away the symbols, and you have your answer! In this case, it’s 910.

Seems like 910 if you ask me.

I would be one of the 10% to succeed, it's 19 dumbos.

19, (everyone else 21).

Are you upset that you are likely to fail this test? Yes/No. If Yes, don't be. You are unlikely to have herpes.

Not really. I’m used to failing.

I’d love to fail.

Who is on the $1 bill?

ME THE FABULOUS POTATO

Bob.

I think it’s Danny P.

Brian Quinn from Impractical Jokers.

How stupid do you think you are? A. Not stupid B. Very Stupid C. Potato

C. My grade is lower than that though.

POTATO HEADED!

D. Dumber than Patrick Star.

F. Failing grade!

Is Dora dumb?

She has a magic backpack do stuff for her, of course she is.

Yes sir yes she is

Not as dumb as me.

On a scale of 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

Blue walls in a house with a green ceiling.

Bologna

Red

Jellyfish.

Translate this word to English from French: "Le Croissant"

The crescent. Actually, I just made that up!

Oh my god this is so hard...

Ta gueule.

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