Top 10 Things to Do If You See a Scary Clown

Around September 2016, reports began surfacing of clowns lurking around streets and houses, scaring people.

In some states in the U.S., such as North and South Carolina, there were claims of clowns attempting to lure children into the woods for unknown reasons. However, many of these reports were later found to be hoaxes or unverified.

Luckily, I haven't encountered a clown yet, but what should you do if you see one? Take a look at this list for your safety.
The Top Ten
Run Away

And jump into a haystack. When they walk by it looking for you, kill them and drag their corpse into the hay.

This would be my first instinct. There's no way I'm going near a clown. Those things aren't for 5-year-olds!

Oh yeah, this is amazing. Really, why is this happening?

Grab Your Weapon

My dad has a rifle in his closet. In my neighborhood, the clowns have already killed six people. So, whenever a creepy clown knocks at my door, or I see him, I can grab my dad's rifle and shoot him until the bullets run out.

Yep, weapons are great for protection, self-defense, and hunting. So, I'm not going to the free candy van.

I'll run and gun him into the ocean.

Fight Him
Call 911

I live in the Carolinas, and every five seconds there is a kid being lured into a bush. I have called 911 and I got a clown arrested. Thanks for the list, Catacorn! It's very helpful.

They'll get arrested for "clowning around".

Kick Him in the Nuts

Yeah! Awesome! Dude, I would do this if a clown ever comes near me!

Haha! I would do this, lmfao.

Also, what if it's a girl?

And crack them. That's what clowns deserve.

Stay Indoors
Lock All Windows, Doors, and Vents
Say "I Like Trains" Right Next to Him
Act Friendly Towards Him

Maybe you should hug it. After all, he has a sign saying free hugs.

And then command it to destroy other clowns.

Are you making a reference to It?

Sic Your Dog on Him

Rumor has it that the colorful parts of the clown taste like birthday cake, so any German shepherd, pit bull, or just a very vicious chihuahua would enjoy chomping down on his arms, legs, etc.

The Newcomers

? Tickle His Belly Button

The best course of action, of course.

? Pepper Spray Him
The Contenders
Flirt with Him

Clown: Hehehe, I will trick this girl!
Girl: Ooh, a clown! I shall flirt.
Clown: Hi, Lucy! Would you like candy?
Girl: Have you been working out? You're so hot!
Clown: *walks away* Dang, she's a freak!

Knock Him Out
Tickle Him
Slice Him Up

Do your best Toshiro Mifune imitation and eviscerate the clown.

Roundhouse Kick Him
Act Casual
Ask If He Is Pennywise
Set Up a Trap
Take a Video
Put Him in a Headlock
Challenge Him to a One-on-One Wrestling Match
Flip Him Off
Spank Him
Swear at Him
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