Martin Canine's Ultimate Teen Angst Mix

There once was a dude. He liked twisted humor, old Hollywood movies from the 1950s, and anthropomorphic animals. And he LOVED teen angst music. Often frowned upon by pretentiously classy people, this kind of music, with its overblown melodrama, blissfully gimmicky genre bending, gender-bending musical style, and all-out celebration of whatever may rush through one's mind, was nothing short of awesome to him.

Many subcultures and crossover genres are driven by teen angst. There's a big difference in how they're received and in their quality, but they always share the same goal: expressing a misfit's mind. The '90s had grunge (Hamburger Schule in Germany, which was highly acclaimed despite the hipster emo looks, but it's not important for this list). The turn of the millennium had nu metal. The mid-2000s had emo and alternative rock. The late 2000s to the mid-2010s had scene. What was still to come made the dude excited.

Our hero had a mission: to create the ultimate teen angst mix. Whether as a mixtape on CD, a playlist on a phone, or a selection of files on a USB stick, these tracks needed to capture the essence of teen angst. On his quest, the dude traveled across the land, searching far and wide to find the singing bush, say the magic chant, and summon the invisible swordsman who would lead him to the holy land of teen angst music. Then, his sharp senses were needed.

The songs had to reflect the variety in the genre, but also work together as a whole. They had to be in the same language, even if some artists were more fluent in it than others. English was chosen because it naturally carries a cool yet rebellious tone other languages don't have. The sound had to be at least rock-inspired, even if the songs had other genre influences. The tone and quality needed to match, since we all know some scene artists started out sounding pretty rough. The reputation of the artists and the scenes they were part of could vary, but the songs had to hit hard as a complete set.

In the end, our hero succeeded. He created what he believed was the definitive mix, the 12 commandments of teen angst.
And here it is, not in ranked order but as a tracklist:

1. I See Stars: The End of the World Party (3:18)
2. Falling in Reverse: The Drug in Me Is You (3:39)
3. LaFee: Little Princess (4:21)
4. Sinners are Winners: Kill Your Ego (4:44)
5. Cinema Bizarre: Lovesongs (They Kill Me) (3:44)
6. Black Veil Brides: Knives and Pens (4:15)
7. Blood on the Dance Floor: Where's My Wonderland (3:44)
8. Linkin Park: What I've Done (3:25)
9. Evanescence: Going Under (3:34)
10. Tokio Hotel: Don't Jump (4:08)
11. Nirvana: Heart Shaped Box (4:41)
12. My Chemical Romance: Welcome to the Black Parade (5:11)

Full duration: 48:44

All tracks in my personal mix are taken from physical CDs of the artists' respective studio albums, except for track 4. That one doesn't have a wide physical release and was only available in limited form on Dahvie Vanity's website. I downloaded it from iTunes from the album The Invocation.

If you want the same listening experience I had, and to support the artists properly (no matter what you think of them as people, musicians should be paid for their work), you should also buy the songs to recreate the mix.

The Top Ten
  1. The End of the World Party - I See Stars

  2. The Drug In Me Is You - Falling In Reverse

  3. Little Princess - LaFee

  4. Kill Your Ego - Sinners Are Winners

  5. Lovesongs (They Kill Me) - Cinema Bizarre

  6. Knives and Pens - Black Veil Brides

  7. Where's My Wonderland - Blood on the Dance Floor

  8. What I've Done - Linkin Park

  9. Going Under - Evanescence

  10. Don't Jump - Tokio Hotel

  11. The Contenders
  12. Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

  13. Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance