Top Ten Most Useless Inventions

Here's some actual things people have invented. Why? Is the question to ask. These products have no good uses whatsoever.

The Top Ten

1 USB Pet Rock

Plug it into your computer, Turn on your computer and watch in awe... as nothing happens. This is more of a scam than anything. - Cazaam

My USB pet rock died... I was so depressed. I buried him in a sand bucket - UglyBull

You mean that they actually tried to bring the pet rock back?! - llamabaconllama37

2 UroClub

That part in the commercial where he's using it in the kitchen...ugh, gross! I would kind of feel sorry for someone who had to tell their spouse not to urinate in the kitchen, especially with kids running around. Besides, most houses have a bathroom, so that's just crude and lazy.

Oh my god why? A reservoir which you take to your golf game to wee into... Yeah. Anyone who has bought this abomination is an idiot. Did you ever think just to empty your bladder next to a tree? - Cazaam

3 Toilet Paper Hat

It sounds delicate. It probably wouldn't last 5 seconds outside. - BlueTopazIceVanilla

I actually think it is quite handy - tohall01

4 Shoe Umbrella

It sounds good on paper but when you think about it, it truly is a fail of an invention. Wouldn't the rain just dribble down your leg and into your shoe anyway? Yup, it will. - Cazaam

One of those people who treat their shoes like gods will buy this. - BlueTopazIceVanilla

5 Phone Fingers

Oh no I keep getting finger smudges on my phone! Try the Phone Fingers! An invention which makes you look even stupider whilst using your phone. And no, it doesn't help, rather it can cause scratches. - Cazaam

6 Screen Privacy Hood

The teacher caught you looking at porn again? Just watch it at home, and not use something which makes you look like a total retard as well as having limited view to your screen in the first place. - Cazaam

7 Noodle Fan

Useful if you have no lungs. Not useful if you were dead which you would be without lungs. So not useful at all. - Cazaam

8 Air Conditioned Shoes

It sounds like a good idea, but you can't go out if the ground is wet and what about if it starts raining? Damn. - Cazaam

9 TV Remote Headband

Headbands, the solution to everything. Well no. Another pointless invention to take money out of the pockets of the idiots that roam the world. - Cazaam

An invention which further complicated a simple remote. - Kiteretsunu

10 Handerpants

Underpants for your hands. For those who don't like their hands going commando. I don't get it. - Cazaam

Do they have hand diapers? - UglyBull

The Contenders

11 Spray-on Shoes (Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs)

Does not exist you idiot.

USELESS because YOU can't GET IT OFF.

12 A Parachute That Opens On Impact

What...the only thing it does is hide your corpse

13 Diet Water
14 Inflatable Dart Board

Stupides invention ever. Darts are made sharp to stick to the board. Inflatable things are supported by concealed air, so it will pop as soon as you use it. Then you will have to keep buying more of these to play. Whoever made this was on drugs. - BlueTopazIceVanilla

Comes with patch kit - UglyBull

15 Child Lock
16 Selfie Stick

Selfie sticks are tools for narcissism. In other words, they're tools for tools! The only reason this isn't higher on my list is that someone recently died being stuck by lightning because it's essentially a lightning rod. Good!

17 Fidget Spinner

I think this is for destressing.

18 Pure Crystal TV


19 Glass Hammer
20 Bendy Straws

No one has had trouble drinking out of a straw. Not one person ever! Have fun trying to grasp it with your mouth while it swerves around, making you look like an asshole. If you're having trouble drinking, just tilt the cup or move it down a bit. What kind of bull innovation is a straw that bends? WORTHLESS.

21 Rock Candy

First of all, its not candy, its rock sugar, and like all things I don't want to eat, it comes stringed like a candle and takes seven days to make! This is the people used to eat when panhandling for gold was still a career choice and every piece of music people listened to still had a banjo in it. Even when it comes on a stick, its like a shish kebab made out of rose thorns. Its to hard to eat and feels like eating nothing. If you want to eat a spoonful of sugar, go ahead! I'm not stopping you, idiot! Just don't call it candy!

22 Automatic Dishwashers

If you think you save time with a dishwasher, you're a dumbass. When you scrape the food off the dishes to put them in the washer, guess what! You're already done! Just get some dish soap and finish the job! I don't wanna have to do the dishes, put them in the washer, wait forty minutes, and them load 'em out again! Here's the amount of times when I found a grain of rice using an automatic dishwasher. ZERO. On the other hand, I can't go a week without seeing lip smudges or food marks on dishes in restaurants or houses that use automatic dishwashers!

23 Useless Box
24 DVD Rewinder
25 Pillow Pet
26 Toilet Golf

It is dumb

27 Shopkins
28 Cigars
29 Exhaust Vent Grill

Who want’s a poisonous burger?

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