Worst Things About Ni Hao Kai Lan

The Top Ten
1 She tickles the sun

Calm down, it's a Nicktoon. Ever heard of Nicktoon logic? You can do everything. I don't give a crap about this show, but you know what they say. Not just cartoons, they're Nicktoons!

In every episode, she always tells us to tickle the sun. Try that in real life. That won't work to wake up the sun.

Kai Lan: Tickle the sun!
Me: I'd rather not burn to death, so don't tickle the sun.
Kai Lan: Tickles sun and somehow nothing affects her.
Me: Impressed.
Kai Lan: AHHHHHHH! I'm burning! Dies.
Me: Karma hit Kai Lan.

2 Rinto is a jerk

There's this one episode where Kai-Lan, Rintoo, Tolee, and Hoho were at a water park, and Rintoo wouldn't stop splashing Tolee and Hoho. They got mad because Rintoo was playing too rough. They wanted to play in a gentle way instead.

3 Hoho is a brat

Hoho is just a stupid white monkey who always jumps up and down for no reason! He's also a whiner.

There was this one episode where Hoho gets mad because he can't get anything he wants that day. Here's what happened:

Kai-Lan: Look at Hoho. He's making fists with his hands, and his face is all scrunched up.

Hoho: AAAHH! I can't get anything I want today! First, there wasn't any yellow paint! Then, my picture got ruined! And now, there aren't any banana stickers left! I'M SO MAD!

Then, Hoho walks up to Rinto and kicks him in the leg.

Rinto says, "Ow!"

4 She ripped off Dora except in Chinese

It's like a Chinese Dora, only worse.

This is a rip-off of Dora. It involves stupid Kai Lan and her animal friends.

5 She sings stupid songs
6 The Hula Ducks aren't in Hawaii

What's the point of hula ducks in China?! That's weird.

7 She talks to the screen like Dora

She tells us to tickle the sun, and at the end, she always says, "You made my heart feel super happy."

8 She has no human friends

She must have moved to Tokyo for good!

Her friends are Rinto, Hoho, Tolly, Lulu, the ants, and others, but not a single human friend.

Rintoo - A yellow tiger with small black stripes on his body, and nothing but a greedy-ass prick. He doesn't care about how Tolee and Hoho feel about his behavior. He thinks that he can get away with everything! Well, think again, Rintoo!

Tolee - A gray koala with black ears. He wears a red sweater with a panda on it. He's worse than Rintoo because Tolee behaves differently when there's a situation. In one episode, he forgives Rintoo for the last two mistakes he made, but when Rintoo ruined Tolee's panda painting, he gets really mad and yells at Rintoo. Tolee's a complete ass who only cares about pandas and getting his way. What a jackass!

Hoho - The most annoying character of all: Hoho is a small monkey with white fur. Hoho is much worse than Tolee and Rintoo because he gets mad about a lot of things that don't go his way! In one episode, Hoho is playing with Kai-Lan, Rintoo, Tolee, and Lulu in Kai-Lan's playhouse. He mentions that he really loves bananas, so he goes to the supply bins to decorate his wall for the playhouse.

He looks for yellow paint but can't find any. He starts throwing a fit about it. He grabs a jar of black paint instead and paints a black banana. He is still mad but doesn't cause destruction.

He goes back to the bins to look for a picture of a banana and finds one. He tapes it to his wall, but it falls off and lands in the jar of black paint. Hoho starts to get upset and notices black paint smeared all over his banana picture. He throws it on the floor and hops back upstairs.

Hoho decides to look for some banana stickers in one of the bins but can't find any. Then, he looks over the stair rail above the others. He notices that Rintoo has the banana stickers. He hops downstairs and fists his hands.

Kai-Lan notices Hoho's hands are balled up, and his face is all scrunched up.

Finally, Hoho has had enough and screams.

He starts complaining that there was no yellow paint, his picture got... more

9 Her friends are idiots

Let's see Kai-Lan's friends!

Rintoo: An idiot who is also a jerk.

Hoho: A spoiled monkey with big anger issues who is violent and eats nothing but bananas. He needs to chill out.

Tolee: Likes nothing except pandas. A stupid head who also has a bad temper. He stomped on an innocent person's sandcastle. Why would he do that? I would call the cops on him. Also, he is sarcastic to all and never shares.

YeYe: The only sane person in the show, except he spoils Hoho.

Rinto is an idiot. Hoho needs to chill out. I would throw him to Moscow. Tolee is a stupid head. He has a bad temper. He stomped on a sandcastle. What? Why would he do that? I would call the cops on Tolee.

10 Hoho always has to be the center of attention

What do you expect from the youngest and only three years old?

The Contenders
11 Totally is obsessed over pandas

In the episode when Hoho gets mad, Lulu takes the panda plate, and he says, "Lulu, I wanted the panda plate." Tolly is so whiny.

12 All of the characters are stupid
13 She always gets what she wants

She got to go to the skating rink! She is a getter-wanter.

14 Dumb plots

The plots are just plain useless!

Nobody cares about an ugly little Chinese girl who goes on failure adventures with her three stupid animal friends!

Also, Kai-Lan is such a brat!

This show should be renamed to "Screw you, Dai-Lan."

15 Ni Hao Kai Lan sucks

Rintoo is an idiot. He plays rough, and he doesn't care. Tolee is stingy. He does not share. Hoho is the monkey version of Rosie. He is a stupid idiot.

Ni Hao Kai Lan sucks! This show involves a Chinese girl named Kai Lan who wants to go on failed adventures.

Kai Lan, I will call the police to arrest you.

16 The name copied Hello Kitty

I hate Ni Hao, Kai-Lan! It's a ripoff of Hello Kitty! (Hello Kitty was my favorite character when I was 6 years old.) Thanks for ruining my childhood, Kai-Lan!

The name is a true mockery of Hello Kitty.

Just a complete ripoff of the cute Hello Kitty we all know and enjoy!

I used to love Hello Kitty when I was little, but Ni Hao, Kai-Lan is just an idiotic version of it!

Thank God Ni Hao, Kai-Lan got canceled in 2011.

17 She says "You make my heart feel super happy"
18 It's a ripoff of Dora
19 Kai Lan is a jerk
20 She's always happy
21 Crappy animation

The animation is horrible. You can tell that a preschooler took over Nickelodeon and made this weird idea of a show.

22 Crappy theme song

The theme song is garbage, and the music sounds like what a kid would do in a bathroom.

23 Rinto is a complete jerk

I do agree that Rinto is a jerk. And he is!

He cries nonstop when things don't go his way (just like Caillou). Plus, Rinto is a stupid name. Who the hell named him that?!

24 Tolie has a very bad-temper

Tolie is a very stupid character! Tolie is worse than the others!

There was this one episode where Rinto makes mistakes. First, he accidentally places the pineapples on the banana shelf. Then, he messed up Tolie's panda hat.

Finally, he accidentally ripped Tolie's panda painting with his tail.

Tolie forgives Rinto for the first two mistakes, but when the panda painting incident took place, he said, "No! I do not forgive you!"

It was an accident! It's not like Rinto did it on purpose!

Ugh! I hate this episode.

25 YeYe is a weird name

What the hell does YeYe mean anyway? I think it sounds like a term for a fat or stupid grandpa. Everyone knows that YeYe is just a ridiculous name for a person.

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