Top 10 Unlikely but Awesome Things for Every Airline to Install

Somewhere between cramming yourself into a seat designed for toddlers and playing the world's slowest game of "Where's My Luggage," you've probably dreamed up a few wild upgrades airlines could use. Not just "more legroom" or "free Wi-Fi," but the kind of stuff that makes you question why no one's already installed it. Think bold. Think bizarre. Think, "Is that a chocolate fountain next to the emergency exit?"

This list is your chance to champion the ridiculous brilliance that could actually make flying enjoyable. Maybe even fun. Vote for the ideas that make you smile, snort, or whisper "why not?" like you're pitching them to an airline CEO at 30,000 feet.

The more people who agree with your taste in mile-high absurdity, the higher those ideas climb. Just don't ask the flight attendant for a loaded paintball gun. Yet.

1. More Leg Room

   I don't have to try to be over 6' tall, mostly because I am. I'm a poor sod, so I try to get one of the seats in the front row of economy because then I have somewhere to put my legs, thank God.

   I took a plane to Hawaii in 2013. I'm 6'1", and it was annoying to have to sit on a flight from Chicago to Honolulu because I could never get comfortable. Clearly, I'm too tall for planes.

   Try being over 6' tall and having a 15-hour flight in the middle seat of economy. I secretly flipped off every child sitting in business class on that flight.

2. Free Wi-Fi

   Aside from the signals interfering with communications and putting the plane at risk of crashing, I wouldn't be able to wait to make a list 20,000 feet above the Atlantic!

3. Loaded Paintball Guns Under Every Seat

   Finally, a way to get the annoying little kid sitting behind you to stop kicking you in the back. Haha!

   This will certainly be a hell of a lot of fun, for some people at least.

4. An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

   For those who don't like the same old stuff you get every time.

   I'm short enough that the leg room isn't too bad, but the food always tastes awful.

5. A Concert Stage

   Imagine if your plane tickets said, "Business Class, Featuring Morgan Page Live."

   Oh, to see a traditional jazz band!

6. Roll-down Windows

   So we can stick our heads out the window! And so we can watch little kids go flying past because they leaned out too far! Yay!

   All the idiots can roll down the window and stick their heads out - gone forever - fewer idiots.

   Let's all get sucked out together!

7. An Observatory

   Not the best observatory, given that you're continuously moving through different environments and your visibility is dependent on your course. But a fun thing to keep you looking up at the sky.

   At least if the pilots had sextants, they would have a backup means of navigation.

8. Blu-Ray Players

   Don't like the in-flight film selection? Bring your own! In HD!

9. A Massage Lounge

   If you dislocated your spine in those economy class seats, which may happen, you can go here and have it corrected.

10. Full Bedrooms

The Newcomers
11. ?

    A Roller Coaster

12. ?

    Arcade/Game Room

The Contenders

13. A Balcony (For Smokers)

    If you can breathe out there, and if you can light them, you can smoke them.

    Bernoulli is rolling over in his grave at the physics of this one, but I'd love to see it.

    Well, that's one way for an airline to get sued.

14. A Ballroom

15. Various Holiday Decor

    Depends, of course, on the time of year.

16. Free Video Games

17. Comfier Seats

18. A Cinema Room

19. Spa