Top 10 Most Useless Items We All Own and Never Use

This is a list about the useless items we own and never use. If you want to add anything else I am fine with that, but please do not add inappropriate things.
The Top Ten
1 Old, Generic Birthday Cards

Why is that balloon-spotted Hallmark fifth birthday wish from Grandma still the thing that jams your desk drawer? All Grandma did was sign the thing. It's no more sentimental than the one she sent you the year before.

I've kept my birthday cards since I was twelve. I'm now older.

2 Throw Pillows

Who doesn't want to move several large, plush items out of the way before flopping into bed each night? You've got to love one last obstacle between you and an uninterrupted night of sleep.

My library has these, but I always chuck them on the floor.

Yes, why do we need these? We practically only use regular pillows.

3 Dictionary

It's pretty useless, but not completely. It's only useful if you don't know what a word means and you have no internet connection, which is pretty rare.

Don't kid yourself. Like everyone else these days, you look up what words mean on the internet.

You can't say a dictionary is useless if you don't have an internet connection and you stumble over a word.

4 Twenty Salt and Pepper Shakers

One pair is more than enough, especially considering that most spices come conveniently prepackaged in the modern world.

5 Paperweights

The most useless items to date. No desk requires a paperweight unless you work outside or are surrounded by fans.

6 Battery-Less Flashlights

This is one of the first items we rush to in an emergency. The flashlight that has never had, nor will ever have, batteries lives in all of our closets, waiting to foil plans of fixing a blown fuse box or telling sufficiently creepy ghost stories.

7 Tea Candies

Maybe loose tea is getting trendier, but who really cares to deal with that when most tea already comes in bags?

8 Every Bag We’ve Ever Been Given

When you wad them all up and store them in the cabinet under your sink, they, for some unknown reason, attract cockroaches.

9 Label Markers

These make sense in an office setting. Owning one at home may lead you to commit such acts of extreme boredom as labeling each drawer's function in your kitchen. No one needs this. Plus, visitors will think you're crazy.

10 Plastic Spoon
The Contenders
11 Butter Knives

Non-butter-specific knives can spread the stuff too. Let's not kid ourselves.

12 Globe
13 Stuffed Animals
14 Dolls
15 Rubber Bands

Just because you get them on Target bags doesn't mean you need to keep them all!

16 Plastic Knives
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