Top 10 Worst Toys of All Time

The Top Ten
1 Doggy Doo Board Game

What obsession do people have with dogs doing their business? There are way too many movies, books, games, and toys about dog poop and pee. Seriously, Doggie Doo? You have to collect dog crap! What kind of game is that? Why would anyone want to collect dog crap in the first place? Plus, the Get A Life and Rub the Whale references were kind of funny. I'm out. This game is crap!

Yes, it's a board game that involves four players trying to pick up dog poop with a scooper, and whoever gets it wins. Come on, Goliath Games! Could your board game ideas be any stupider? I mean, first Pop the Pig, and now this? What's next? Rub the Whale? Where you engage in inappropriate actions with the whale, and whoever gets blasted in the face loses? Seriously. And guys, please add more items to this list.

Walmart pulled this board game from their shelves. I'll stick with Domino Rally (the Goliath Games reprint), Girl Talk, Electronic Dream Phone (the 1996 edition), Qwirkle, Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, and older board games like California Dreams, Clarissa Explains It All, Round Four, Adverteasing, Outburst Junior, Win Lose or Draw, Last Chance, Sharp Shooters, Flying Thunder, The Omega Virus, and any older board games.

2 Baby Wee Wee

This toy is so inappropriate that I think it got banned. Essentially, it's an anatomically correct doll that drinks water, walks around for a few minutes, and tells you it needs to pee while holding its crotch. You let it pee into a plastic potty before time runs out, either sitting down or standing up. Yes, it has a plastic penis as crooked as Gonzo's nose, just as a website mentioned. I saw a commercial for it, which significantly decreased my interest in the doll. Thankfully, Baby Alive is more kid-friendly.

Another thing: there is another version of this doll that doesn't walk but has a moving penis. There was even a dad in the commercial. Enough said. I'm out.

I was at a summer daycare (don't ask), and the door to our classroom was locked, so we had to wait in the preschool room. My younger sister saw a box full of dolls and started rummaging through it. There were about six Baby Wee Wee dolls, all naked. She screamed, and I went to see what was going on. I was so disgusted that I hid them behind a shelf. And get this: I'm a girl, and four of those stupid dolls were boys!

3 Shopkins

They are very different from Moshi Monsters figures, and I will explain it to you. First, Moshi Monsters characters only have about five food characters. Second, Moshi Monsters' characters are mostly animals with clothing or references to famous singers (e.g., Broccoli Spears, Britney Spear). On the other hand, Shopkins are all food! Every single one of them, not just five! Additionally, they can go on top of your pencils or pens, which Moshi Monsters can't do. Clearly, a child must be inattentive if they happen to choke on one. These aren't bad toys. Problem solved.

These plastic wastes are infecting every children's store. I have no idea how a crappy piece of food toy that looks like its arms and nose were bitten off by a rabid monkey can climb to the top of an empire of toys. The fanbase is pretty much a bunch of irate 10-year-olds who shove their parents into the nearest Toys R Us to get a 12-pack of these tiny dog poisoners. They make pointless crossovers with Barbie or Elsa using YouTube Capture. Then they will go on a manhunt for you if you say anything they disagree with.

Another problem is how much they cost. A normal 12-pack costs $12. Season 5 has 140 Shopkins (including recolored versions of already existing characters). 12 x 12 = 144. There are 5 seasons of Shopkins. 5 x 144 = $720 worth of Shopkins. And that isn't counting the duplicates you get as well. This goes the same for a lot of Moose's toys as well. Shopkins, as a whole, is an empire of dead-eyed plastic blobs that want to take over the market and shove their terrible product into our faces.

I rest my case.

4 Furby Boom

These toys are annoying in many ways. I'll give you 10 reasons:

1. They never shut up.
2. They're too gassy.
3. They don't have an On/Off switch, so they wake up with any sudden movement and can turn off at any time.
4. They say "Blah Blah Blah," which is rude.
5. They make all kinds of annoying sounds.
6. They have different personalities that are annoying.
7. They speak some Furby language.
8. Newer versions have gone downhill.
9. They do whatever they want.
10. It takes a long time to change the personality, depending on what it is.

I could probably come up with more, but this is all I have for now.

This thing turns evil and starts chanting voodoo! Once you turn it on, it won't stop babbling for like three hours. The only way to put it to sleep automatically is to pull its tail for 10 seconds, but it wakes up so easily with any sudden movement. My sister's Furby went to sleep and never woke up. We were all happy. It's the most annoying toy ever!

5 Aqua Dots

Watch out, parents! The next tiny ball you might buy for your children could include date-rape!

Aqua Dots should have been for ages 8 and up instead of 4 and up!

6 Barbie

I hate Barbie so much, and I hate Mattel! I want to ban Barbie and burn them in a big bonfire! Barbie is a bad example for young children, teaching them to not eat and to care about their looks 24/7. It teaches them to have a perfect figure.

Barbie is so unrealistic and so stupid, yet so darn popular! Why? Mattel also produces Walk and Potty Pup. What is with this world and stupid doggy doo-doo toys? The reason above is perfect. They also make Barbie with private girl parts, and you're supposed to undress them and dress them up again. Who wants to stumble upon a naked Barbie doll? These dolls and lots of other dolls are so inappropriate and should be banned. Barbie can go right down the chute, and so can Mattel!

Barbie is nothing but a selfish, stupid brat. She doesn't care about nature, she won't donate any money, and she's a huge stereotype to women. Many Barbie dolls were banned because they are too inappropriate for kids. The Oreo Barbie doll got banned because it was racist and offensive to Black people. Barbie is too skinny. It's impossible for someone to be that skinny. I want to kill Barbie, and if I were president, then I'd ban Barbie dolls because they're too stereotypical and dumb.

7 Pee and Poo Plush Toys

Whenever I go to the mall, there's always a store with a plush turd. Always. And yet people buy these?

My cousins have a plush pee toy. No joke.

Sounds weird. Never heard of it.

8 Kinder Surprise

I already made a list of reasons to hate this overrated piece of garbage on my old account, so I'm just going to say this.

I remember using YouTube at an early age (10 years old) and I started to explore the depths of the website. That's when I stumbled upon the Humpty Dumpty ad, and it traumatized me ever since.

So yeah, to think that a toy associated with a really disturbing ad has been going on for over 40 years now, I literally have no other words.

These are all the rage on YouTube kids' videos nowadays. They're just chocolate eggs with a boring foil picture. The capsules can also be impossible to open sometimes. Also, most of the toys are cheap plastic rubbish you can forget in less than ten days. The only thing I like is the SpongeBob toys. Other than that, the stuff in it is boring. Kinder, step up your game and make more quality toys, not quantity junk.

Kinder Surprise is a candy in most countries, but not the United States. It's primarily infamous for a 1980s advert which depicts a human-fleshed, Humpty Dumpty-like character. This character shouts such random gibberish as "chocadoobie!" and scares the viewer. Welcome to the uncanny valley.

9 Atomic Energy Lab

Who puts uranium in a kid's toy?

10 Nerf Guns

It's stupid. Kids who get them and then get an airsoft gun afterward call the attachment rails "tactical rails," which is annoying and utterly nonsense. Most of the guns are big, bulky wastes of plastic and cost so much money.

Toy guns? Is this teaching kids to grow up using guns? This can teach kids bad things!

The people who have channels that review these toys are so annoying.

The Contenders
11 Bump 'Em Hump 'Em Robots

God, these toys are so horrible and messed up. They act like they are rapists.

I agree, the name is inappropriate. Then kids will talk about humping!

What kind of sick parent would buy these for their kids?

12 Austin Magic Pistol
13 Fidget Spinners

I don't understand this whole thing with fidget spinners. People use them in the most bizarre ways. From some people trying to make them out of valuable materials like gold, diamond, or platinum, to others trying to attach them to their vehicles to make them faster (in one case, a Lamborghini), or even making their own crazy creations with them.

Sometimes people can even end up in the hospital because "a spinner hit a little girl in the eye," or "this person tried to cross the road to retrieve his precious spinner but got hit by a car," or "this person beat up another man for taking his fidget spinner." I do hope this trend dies soon.

I thought this was a list about toys, not about spinners. What's so interesting about putting a 3-sided object and spinning it with your hand? What are you supposed to do? Watch it and be entertained? I'd rather watch Ferris wheels move at the slowest pace possible, because surely that would be more fun than just spinning something ridiculous. Hopefully, one day the world will destroy all fidget spinners.

14 Avenging Unicorn
15 World Trade Center Toy

It would have been more suitable if this toy had come out before 9/11 and was a build-the-towers toy, representing the 20th century (whatever year they were built) to 2000 (the year before 9/11).

God. Did they have to make a 9/11 reference?

Sad. A horrible reminder of 9/11.

16 Avenging Narwhal
17 Barbie Midge & Baby Happy Family by Mattel
18 Breast Feeding Baby Doll

This just crossed the line! Only grown women breastfeed, not little girls. This toy has fake boobs that the girl wears, puts the doll on to suck, and you burp it like a normal baby. Yes, only moms do this. I'm not sure how people like this, or who came up with this in the first place, but whoever those people are, they're idiots. Plus, why is this number 13?

Morons want little girls to grow up as 20-year-old women at the age of 4. What has the world come to? I thought we had been frozen into the year 3000, like Fry in Futurama, with all the technology. But all this disgusting push for young girls to grow up quickly is just wrong. Let kids be kids. Childhood is short, and adulthood is longer.

Just wrong. For show and tell, one of my kindergarten students brought this in. I contacted the father, and he said the "How Babies Are Made" book was sold out.

So I contacted the mother. She said that she wanted her daughter to know what breastfeeding was. She also informed her daughter on what a hand job is. Wrong.

19 Garbage Pail Kids Trading Cards

They're so disturbing! Who would buy these?

20 Blue Q Drug Dealer Magnet Set

I hope the company that makes this went bankrupt for making this toy, because this toy is just disturbing.

21 Breaking Bad Dolls

Yo, yo, Mr. White, we need to fall over because dolls have little to no stability!

22 Hot Wheels: Light Speeders

Light Speeders? I'll tell you this now: solar-powered toys and car toys don't mix well. It's not even going to go fast. Anything with wheels probably won't work at all in the sun on its own. So kids, just give up.

Solar-powered racing cars? What happens here is that you have to keep a light shined on it. You make it move a centimeter, then another centimeter, and then you throw the darn thing away.

As if any kid is going to go outside in the sun and risk getting cancer.

23 Easy Bake

Children could put their fingers in the oven to get their cookies out and burn their poor little fingers. I know kids want to be like their parents, but this isn't safe. And if a kid really wants cookies so badly, wouldn't it be better to just buy them cookies?

My little sister got one after begging for it for months before Christmas. We finally got it for her, and after she made her first batch of centimeter-long "cookies," she said it was stupid and never used it again.

A girl amputated her finger after getting burned by the Easy Bake oven. Poor girl, she was only six! Hear me, six!

24 Megabloks

Think about it. You can build a skyscraper out of Lego without worrying about it collapsing. But with Mega Bloks, the skyscraper can collapse easily.

They are too dusty and don't have a design like Lego does.

25 BeyWarriors

What happens when you turn a great toy franchise like Beyblade into some overly gimmicky, unrelatable pile of junk? BeyWarriors and BeyRaiderz.

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