Top 10 Worst Toys of All Time
Remember that toy you got as a kid that made you go, "Huh?" The one that either broke instantly, was incredibly boring, or just seemed like a seriously bad idea? Well, you're not alone! The world is full of toys that probably should have never left the drawing board.
From the mildly disappointing to the downright dangerous, we're about to take a trip down memory lane, the cringeworthy part. We're talking toys that were poorly designed, strangely inappropriate, or just plain baffling.
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Doggy Doo Board Game
What obsession do people have with dogs doing their business? There are way too many movies, books, games, and toys about dog poop and pee. Seriously, Doggy Doo? You have to collect dog crap! What kind of game is that? Why would anyone want to collect dog crap in the first place? Plus, the Get A Life and Rub the Whale references were kind of funny. I'm out. This game is crap!
Yes, it's a board game that involves four players trying to pick up dog poop with a scooper, and whoever gets it wins. Come on, Goliath Games! Could your board game ideas be any stupider? I mean, first Pop the Pig, and now this?
What's next? Rub the Whale? Where you engage in inappropriate actions with the whale, and whoever gets blasted in the face loses? Seriously. And guys, please add more items to this list.
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Baby Wee Wee
This toy is so inappropriate that I think it got banned. Essentially, it's an anatomically correct doll that drinks water, walks around for a few minutes, and tells you it needs to pee while holding its crotch. You let it pee into a plastic potty before time runs out, either sitting down or standing up. Yes, it has a plastic penis as crooked as Gonzo's nose, just as a website mentioned.
I saw a commercial for it, which significantly decreased my interest in the doll. Thankfully, Baby Alive is more kid-friendly. Another thing: there is another version of this doll that doesn't walk but has a moving penis. There was even a dad in the commercial. Enough said. I'm out.
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Pee and Poo Plush Toys
Whenever I go to the mall, there's always a store with a plush turd. Always. And yet people buy these?
My cousins have a plush pee toy. No joke.
Sounds weird. Never heard of it.
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Shopkins
They are very different from Moshi Monsters figures, and I will explain it to you. First, Moshi Monsters characters only have about five food characters. Second, Moshi Monsters characters are mostly animals with clothing or references to famous singers (e.g., Broccoli Spears, Britney Spears).
On the other hand, Shopkins are all food! Every single one of them, not just five! Additionally, they can go on top of your pencils or pens, which Moshi Monsters can't do. Clearly, a child must be inattentive if they happen to choke on one. These aren't bad toys. Problem solved.
These plastic wastes are infecting every children's store. I have no idea how a crappy piece of food toy that looks like its arms and nose were bitten off by a rabid monkey can climb to the top of an empire of toys. The fanbase is pretty much a bunch of irate 10-year-olds who shove their parents into the nearest Toys R Us to get a 12-pack of these tiny dog poisoners. They make pointless crossovers with Barbie or Elsa using YouTube Capture. Then they will go on a manhunt for you if you say anything they disagree with.
Another problem is how much they cost. A normal 12-pack costs $12. Season 5 has 140 Shopkins (including recolored versions of already existing characters). 12 x 12 = 144. There are 5 seasons of Shopkins. 5 x 144 = $720 worth of Shopkins. And that isn't counting the duplicates you get as well. This goes the same for a lot of Moose's toys as well. Shopkins, as a whole, is an empire of dead-eyed plastic blobs that want to take over the market and shove their terrible product into our faces.
I rest my case.
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Furby Boom
These toys are annoying in many ways. I'll give you 10 reasons:
1. They never shut up.
2. They're too gassy.
3. They don't have an On/Off switch, so they wake up with any sudden movement and can turn off at any time.
4. They say "Blah Blah Blah," which is rude.
5. They make all kinds of annoying sounds.
6. They have different personalities that are annoying.
7. They speak some Furby language.
8. Newer versions have gone downhill.
9. They do whatever they want.
10. It takes a long time to change the personality, depending on what it is.
I could probably come up with more, but this is all I have for now.
This thing turns evil and starts chanting voodoo. Once you turn it on, it won't stop babbling for like three hours. The only way to put it to sleep automatically is to pull its tail for 10 seconds, but it wakes up so easily with any sudden movement.
My sister's Furby went to sleep and never woke up. We were all happy. It's the most annoying toy ever.
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Barbie
I hate Barbie so much, and I hate Mattel! I want to ban Barbie and burn them in a big bonfire! Barbie is a bad example for young children, teaching them not to eat and to care about their looks 24/7. It teaches them to have a perfect figure.
Barbie is so unrealistic and so stupid, yet so darn popular! Why? Mattel also produces Walk and Potty Pup. What is with this world and stupid doggy doo-doo toys? The reason above is perfect. They also make Barbie with private girl parts, and you're supposed to undress them and dress them up again. Who wants to stumble upon a naked Barbie doll? These dolls and lots of other dolls are so inappropriate and should be banned. Barbie can go right down the chute, and so can Mattel!
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Breast Feeding Baby Doll
I guess some kids would want to mimic it when they see it, and because they don't know much about it, they glamorize it like they would parenthood in general.
Buying baby dolls for girls just because they are girls already feels like an attempt at brainwashing. I had some when I was a kid but didn't want them. In fact, I was scared of them.
This just crossed the line! Only grown women breastfeed, not little girls. This toy has fake breasts that the girl wears, puts the doll on to suck, and you burp it like a normal baby. Yes, only moms do this. I'm not sure how people like this, or who came up with this in the first place, but whoever those people are, they're idiots. Plus, why is this number 13?
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Kinder Surprise
I already made a list of reasons to hate this overrated piece of garbage on my old account, so I'm just going to say this.
I remember using YouTube at an early age (10 years old) and I started to explore the depths of the website. That's when I stumbled upon the Humpty Dumpty ad, and it traumatized me ever since. So yeah, to think that a toy associated with a really disturbing ad has been going on for over 40 years now, I literally have no other words.
These are all the rage on YouTube kids' videos nowadays. They're just chocolate eggs with a boring foil picture. The capsules can also be impossible to open sometimes. Also, most of the toys are cheap plastic rubbish you can forget in less than ten days. The only thing I like is the SpongeBob toys. Other than that, the stuff in it is boring. Kinder, step up your game and make more quality toys, not quantity junk.
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Bump 'Em Hump 'Em Robots
God, these toys are so horrible and messed up. They act like they are rapists.
I agree, the name is inappropriate. Then kids will talk about humping!
What kind of sick parent would buy these for their kids?
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Aqua Dots
Watch out, parents! The next tiny ball you might buy for your children could include date-rape!
Aqua Dots should have been for ages 8 and up instead of 4 and up!
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Lol Dolls
Nah it's not being "with it" anymore with toys that kids buy.
God, almost every toy channel loves this, but why?
They're making a movie of these soon. Help.
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Breaking Bad Dolls
Yo, yo, Mr. White, we need to fall over because dolls have little to no stability!
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Nerf Guns
It's stupid. Kids who get them and then get an airsoft gun afterward call the attachment rails "tactical rails," which is annoying and utterly nonsense. Most of the guns are big, bulky wastes of plastic and cost so much money.
Toy guns? Is this teaching kids to grow up using guns? This can teach kids bad things!
The people who have channels that review these toys are so annoying.
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Fidget Spinners
I don't understand this whole thing with fidget spinners. People use them in the most bizarre ways. From some people trying to make them out of valuable materials like gold, diamond, or platinum, to others trying to attach them to their vehicles to make them faster (in one case, a Lamborghini), or even making their own crazy creations with them.
Sometimes people can even end up in the hospital because "a spinner hit a little girl in the eye," or "this person tried to cross the road to retrieve his precious spinner but got hit by a car," or "this person beat up another man for taking his fidget spinner." I do hope this trend dies soon.
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World Trade Center Toy
It would have been more suitable if this toy had come out before 9/11 and was a build-the-towers toy, representing the 20th century (whatever year they were built) to 2000 (the year before 9/11).
God. Did they have to make a 9/11 reference?
A crazy company called Lisy Corp made this. This toy was recalled.
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Atomic Energy Lab
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Austin Magic Pistol
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Garbage Pail Kids Trading Cards
They're so disturbing! Who would buy these?
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Simba Rafiki Toy
One of the most disgusting toys ever made.
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Avenging Narwhal
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Avenging Unicorn
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Toy Swords
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Barbie Midge & Baby Happy Family by Mattel
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Littlest Pet Shop Fashems
I've seen many YouTube videos of Mashems or Fashems, and I've seen many YouTubers complaining that the paint is sticky and sometimes comes off.
Someone found an Elsa Fashem and forced me to take it. My dog destroyed the rubber. I'm happy now, and my dog is fine.
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Gooey Louie
This game is so messed up. I don't get why little kids like this.
Seriously? First dog, and now this!
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Hitler Doll
Idiots make dolls of everything.
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Pop The Pig