Top Ten Worst Things to Say to a Proud American

On my next visit to America, I'll be sure to restrain myself from letting these out. If you happen to be in the States when you meet a 6'4" nerdy teenager visiting from England who says any of these, you'll know for certain who it is.

The Top Ten Worst Things to Say to a Proud American

1 If you wanted freedom with fewer terms and conditions, you should've stayed with Great Britain.

Mayflower should've done a Titanic.
I know Mayflower was before Titanic.

"All of them are idiots." Actually, a lot of people have immigrated in the past, so because of that, there could be any number of intelligent people. So what you seem to be implying is that if you are an American citizen you are an idiot, and also, the English people were the ones who went to America. So every American genius is also an idiot for being American? That makes no sense. Can't disagree with the fact that Americans have less freedom than claimed, and it's not just specifically America. No country really deserves to be called stupid because of major past mistakes. That's all I'm saying. There are stupid Americans, as there are stupid Irishmen, stupid Japanese people, and stupid Englishmen. There's always going to be someone in a country that is stupid, obviously, and some people have more than others, but it's prejudice to say that all people of any country are idiots.

I think Great Britain should have kept America. Heck, the Americans didn't have a good army, it's just that the Brits LET them have their land. If Britain did keep them, America could be in a lot better shape. Plus, Americans have no freedom anyway, and all of them are idiots. Good list, PositronWildhawk.

That was a MASSIVE mistake on their part, but Yanks will be Yanks... - Britgirl

2 God bless this 'special place'.

God bless this Special Snowflake.

3 And for my side-order, I'll have the 800lb burger, with one kind of cheap hot cheese, and a new gun.

Personally, I can wait to go through the drive-thru at Wendy's to casually say this. - PositronWildhawk

4 I've always seen the Confederate Flag as a work of art.

On photos of American Adventure Theme Park which was in Derbyshire, England (1987-2007) the Confederate Flag is on it.

It’s a racist symbol - blackflower

Not surprising, as it bears a certain resemblance to the Union Jack.

5 Let's see you win a war by yourself.

How about: You stop bullying every Brit on TheTopTens

How about:
"We Brits beg forgiveness for having hanged your patriots, burned your farms, slaughtered your women and children, and having our way with your livestock, BEFORE being TWICE unceremoniously trounced into total submission by your ragtag army of 'peasants'? "
(Boy, those Scots-Irish have a nasty habit of getting deep under Limey rinds, don't they? "

6 (Looking at U.S. Flag) Oh, look! Now there are 50 special stickers on your report card!
7 I've always seen this country as sexist. To you, a full stop is a period.


8 Who's your favourite president since 1981?

It is the worst thing you could say to an American because of the you in favorite. - Songsta41

Bush's least favourite vegetable, I.E. his son. - PositronWildhawk

9 Have you lost a whole gram? You're making great progress.

I'm American, but this list is pretty funny - Ajkloth

We use the customary system. - Songsta41

I'm American, but yeah, I'm just repeating what Ajkloth is saying. - funnyuser

10 I guess you needed a lot of land to fit 315 million tubbies in.

When you didn't even help at the start of WWII no excuses.


Well, then...
Maybe we'll just take your dreary little parking lot.
Anyway, it's about time you paid us back for pulling your chestnuts outta the fire in WWII.

The Contenders

11 September 11th, today is a good day

Bruh, They go ballistic over this, even added an Ice Cube pun

12 Yank

Hello, I'd like to speak to Macaroni.

Yankee Doodle went to town, upon a little pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, And called it Macaroni.

That was just plain rude


13 Obama is a good president.

I thought he was - blackflower

No one supports Obama. Poor Obama.

So offensive have a big fat vote from me

You don't want to be in my fist range and say that. - GHOSTbirdnatureLOVER

14 Shut up

I should be used to the prejudice lists on here...I'm worried that Americans will try to retaliate. Then everyone will be hypocritical if they try to defend themselves, unless they live somewhere else.

Americans just don't know when to shut up about their pathetic country.

Funny, since they find it so hard to shut up sometimes. - PositronWildhawk

"Americans just don't know when to shut up about their pathetic country."
And from just which utopian duchy do YOU hail, comrade?

15 America: the centre of the world and the centre of world's problems.

The center of the world's ENVY.

16 It's football, not soccer!

It's rounders, not baseball!

17 F*** America

There is a sweet shop of imports
What is moon pie lol.
I wonder what Kool-Aid tastes like.
You can buy Oreo cereal but its not really a heathy cereal well for breakfast, maybe kids might like it.

18 NASA isn't all American, the Germans had to help you get off the ground.

Think about it, the Americans stole money from China. Thus giving them the funds to pay the Germans to do such a thing. Their fuel consumption must've been terrible.

19 I need to take a piss

But I do need to...

20 American chocolate is poison

Milky Way bars they are like those horrible UK 80s ones till we changed them. I have an older sibling that knows about the UK 80s ones.

21 Do you want guns in case aliens invade?

Zim is coming.

22 God Bless 9/11
23 You're primitive technology has advanced considerably for a British colony.
24 Why can't you talk proper English? It's a bit annoying really.

Could you please stop getting your knickers in a twist when you see a mistake in a sentence, this is the internet not writing on paper.

It would be funny if the American answered, "I don't speak English, I speak American! " Although you would need to find a stupid American for that. A very stupid person.

The "proper English" word is SPEAK.

25 Amerifat
26 America is a continent not a country.
27 Your music sucks
28 Americans believe in imaginary friends.
29 Donald Trump is a good president
30 It’s kilometers not miles
31 You're so bad you had to get the French to help with your architecture
32 Fat Pig
33 Why is "God" on your currency.
34 Got a fag?

I suppose its to inappropriate for Americans but I was trying to add a joke about the slang for cigarettes.

35 Guns? What is this Cowboys and Indians?
36 You don't want immigrants? Are you a Native?
37 Why do you do month/day/year but say Fourth of July
38 Scared of the letter "U"

In colour, favourite

39 What did you do on September 11, 2001?
40 Is Donald Trump building a wall around New Mexico?
41 Why do you have two Christmas dinners?

We need to get fatter.
So in case some aliens invade Earth and take all of the food! - DylanB5

42 Jar Jar Binks for the next president!
43 It's not Baseball, it's Rounders!
44 You like guns but hate kinder surprise.
45 God bless stupidity.
46 Republicans are Rednecks
47 If America had royalty, Kim Kardashian would be Queen
48 Where's the third party?
49 You voted for George W. Bush twice?
50 God Bless Fast Food
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