Top 10 Dumbest Ways to Die
Some ways to die are tragic. Some are heroic. And then there are the ones so ridiculous that they could only exist in the world of jokes. You know the kind. The ones that leave you thinking, If this were real, it would be the worst way to go.This list is full of completely fictional and intentionally absurd scenarios. No real tragedies here, just dark humor at its finest. Think of it as a reminder to appreciate common sense, or at least to avoid making the kind of choices that would land you on a list like this.
I really think it's a very stupid way to die. I mean, come on, you idiot, it's full of food! Duh! Oh look, I am in a place full of food and I am so scared of getting arrested I'll just starve to death instead of sneaking a candy bar or something.
But who even stays in a supermarket that long anyway? Definitely a bad way to go.
This would indeed get you on the news, and make you the worldwide laughingstock for sure. I doubt it is possible for anyone that respects their life to die like this though.
Even a person who lacks intelligence would have the common sense to take the store's food. But when there's no can opener...
Person: Hey, Derpy, what's wrong?
Derpy: I can't breathe!
Person: Do you need CPR?
Derpy: I don't know how to breathe.
Person: Inhale!
Derpy: How?
If you forget how to breathe, you will die. If you want to try it, you gon die. Anyway, who will be stupid enough to do that?
If people can forget how to control their farts, then of course, breathing can also be forgotten.
This is what happens when you don't buy Geico, people. Geico: save 15 percent or more on car insurance!
That is hilarious. How can you even die of shock from the expense of the hospital bill when you survived?
It really reminds me of how cartoon characters die. So stupid and silly.
Aren't you supposed to be allergic to Jell-o to die like that? Is there a pool made of Jell-o? I can see every equation.
You can drown in Jello, and if you are allergic or hate the flavor, then you might as well be dead.
How is that even possible? Is there a pool made of Jello or something?
What's even more dumb is that many people died this way throughout history. Like a British monk during the 7th century who made a pair of makeshift wings and accidentally jumped off a cliff. Or even Franz Reichelt, the Austrian inventor who died after jumping off the Eiffel Tower due to his "coat parachute" not working. Social Darwinism at its finest, people.
It's obvious. If you try to fly off a building, you are NOT going to make it. Some of these can be true, though. People can die from even the smallest cut from a disease where your blood cannot clot and you can just bleed to death.
When I was in junior high, one boy, the story goes, put on a wetsuit and went in the attic. He was found dead. True story. Science experiment gone wrong.
Dying of heat in the coldest regions in the world. What, did some arctic explorer decide to make a tanning booth?
This is very serious and can happen if you are morbidly obese.
Well, that's not Russian roulette, that's shooting yourself with an Uzi. If you were playing classic Russian roulette with only one bullet, then your odds would actually be better than with the usual revolver.
The fact that people actually play Russian Roulette in general just makes me wonder how dumb people can be.
How about playing Russian Roulette with any fully loaded gun? There's no chance of you not getting shot!
How would that happen? You'd need to stick your face on the beater and then turn it on.
Your face will get mixed up with blood if you do that, so don't do it.
Why do you even want ANY body part too close to the egg-beater?
I know a kid that did this on a field trip, and he threw up non-stop.
I once choked on a butterscotch. I wonder what would happen if I tried this? Conclusion: DEATH.
A Big Mac itself can kill you. Why eat it in one bite? I want to live longer.
If you poke a grizzly bear with a stick, you deserve whatever he has coming for you.
Best way to get candy so far! Apparently, bears vomit candy.
Dumb ways to die. So many dumb ways to die.
The Newcomers
This actually happened to someone.
The list wasn't very funny until I read this.
Dude, imagine if you stuck your head out of an elevator and it closed. Your neck is still intact, but the elevator moves up and you hit the roof. You're choking and cannot breathe. Then, there's a headless, bloody body in the elevator. If you did that, your brain is smaller than a mustard seed. Geez.
I think I put this here because of an episode of 1000 Ways to Die. It could happen, but it's very unlikely. Couldn't you just get the doors wide enough to pull yourself out? It must hurt though.
Something like this would be really unlikely to happen, but if it did, it would really hurt. This sounds like something that would happen in an episode of Happy Tree Friends.
I laughed at this. This is so dumb. Who tries to play a game of Catch with a knife? I can picture that in my head. Two idiotic kids playing Catch the Knife, one kid gets stabbed in the face by mistake, and then dies. Scary, right?
Well, now you learned not to try this at home, or anywhere else.
I bet one kid would go like, "Whee! I love playing Catch the Knife!" and then it gets stabbed in the head and dies. Very tragic.
If the person throws it a bit too high and you can't catch it, splat.
Wait, there's a normal amount of antifreeze to drink?
Is there such a thing as too much antifreeze? I love that stuff. I could drink it all day.
No matter how much you drink, you will die of antifreeze.
You'll sink even lower if you carry an anvil while walking across quicksand.
Why would you be carrying an anvil where there's quicksand anyway?
Have you watched any? An anvil will make you sink faster.
Cucumbers kill a lot of people around the world. Over 900,000 die because of it. My nephew died because of the cucumber. It was bloody. Help the victims of the cucumber stabbers.
How is this not number 1? Getting stabbed with a cucumber is easily the dumbest way to die. How do you even get stabbed with a cucumber? It's ridiculous.
Especially if the cucumber is actually a gherkin and if it has been carved in such a way that it becomes a small dagger.
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear, eat medicine that's out of date, use your private parts as piranha bait, dumb ways to die...
A hair salon in India actually does this purposely.
Why would you want to turn your hair to cinders, anyway?
Uh oh, 1000 Ways To Die flashbacks... I just saw that one where this woman falls asleep in a tanning bed and got severely sunburned. She then took some pills, and the next morning... just watch this one for yourself.
The whole idea just screams Final Destination to me. Oh, what, it does happen in Final Destination, and it looks like a really bad way to go.
Tanning booths are long-term death traps. If it becomes a short-term one, that's on you.
What was NASA thinking to hire a nimrod who's dumb enough to take their helmet off in space when astronauts should know that we can only survive 10-15 seconds in space without oxygen? Plus, space hurts.
Imagine getting everything done right to the point where you are going to the Moon. Just to take your helmet off and die. I don't even think that has happened, and it will never happen.
Dang. Is this guy trying to write a book? That is so stupid. Who takes off their helmet in a dangerous place with no oxygen?
I've actually heard of a 16-year-old who collapsed because of too much homework.
This is something that is very likely to happen to me someday.
Sadly, these days this could happen at any moment!
I feel like some of these, including this one, are like challenges that some of the stupidest people would accept.
Isn't this just copying Dumb Ways to Die? But not with, you know, what.
What genius thought of this? Obvious sarcasm is obvious.
Helium inhalation can kill you. Its density is less than that of air, and it can replace the oxygen in your lungs. Once that happens, the nervous system shuts down, and you go to sleep. Forever. Times infinity.
I'm glad I never did helium because back then I didn't know it was a drug. When I found out, I was happy I never swallowed any from a helium balloon.
This almost happened to me once. I was in my room and sucked in way too much helium from a balloon, passed out, and woke up on my carpet.
When people have seizures, all their muscles contract. Your tongue is a muscle, so it will contract. When this happens, the tongue rolls back and the victim will choke on their tongue. It is not uncommon to happen and is a serious and painful, not dumb, way to die.
That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Like, how would you choke on your own tongue?
This is the biggest nonsense I've ever heard. I mean, I'm no doctor, but I thought that this myth was busted in the Dark Ages.
A game of spoons might kill you.
This can have different effects on different people. Some people might die, others might feel fine.
Umm, that's pretty weird and disturbing. I like it, but it is dumb. Ok, now I sound dumb. Anyone agree with me? Hey, hey, hey!
Imagine if the lumbar support is so bad that every time you lean back, you do a backflip.
Dude, this is a dumb way to die. Especially on the first day of the job.