Top Ten Everyday Aspects of Life That Would Be Weird In a Backwards Universe
Imagine these things acting where time runs backwards. They would certainly be bizarre.
This would be a tough ordeal for both child and parents. When the kid ages backward, it shoves itself up into the mother before the baby shrivels into nothing.
Nine months later, or earlier, it splits into a sperm and an egg, the former of which promptly shoots back up into the father. A backwards world would be odd.
"This doth fair maketh the eyes water..."
"It shoves itself up into the mother..." Such grace, such style.
This would be bizarre and extremely traumatic for all involved. Thank goodness this is impossible!
When you graduate, you're basically confirming in a backwards universe that you don't need your knowledge anymore. Over your backwards courses, you lose it into thin air as your teachers teach it backwards.
You'd begin to lose your degrees as your exams are undone until at the end of your life, or after your reverse education, you're no longer toilet-trained. Horrific thought, right?
We may say here that this backward education's main aim would be to make fools out of geniuses. The dumbest one would excel in academics.
Sounds really crazy, weird, and fun at the same time.
Money would be avoided like the plague in a backwards universe because when you buy things, you're actually selling them, and vice versa.
Throwing out your money would make you richer, but you'd also be unable to buy something unless you sell it.
You would steal to get money and get nothing if you pay for something.
This can be a minor irritation, like a doctor taking your cough pills away while your throat feels like sandpaper. Or it could be an immoral armageddon, like it would be if surgeons were to implant a pus-filled appendix into you before applying anesthetic!
We would be younger if time went backward.
Would not like to have that happen backward.
How would anyone live with memory capacity acting backward through time?
Objects from light bulbs to cars would simply disappear from existence.
Criminals would put money into vaults and seal them up or suck knives and bullets out of corpses before they come to life.
I don't know how it feels forwards, but I can imagine that backward would be a lot worse.
See, this is why I like the world even with its problems! Do you know what would make me hate life? Having your poop shoved up your butt every time you try to eat something!
But where is the poop if it's not being sucked up yet? It's not in your rectum.
You would have to sit on a toilet before crap rises from the drain and into you, which would materialize into pieces of food.
These pieces would be fused together by your teeth before you pull them up your throat and out of your mouth. I think I'll pass.
Can you imagine the thrillers?
Detective: "Who brought him back to life?"
Murder Victim: "It was him!"
You would be healed all the time, I guess.
Would you write with your foot or just type everything?