Top Ten Unwritten Rules of Life

Any educated man will know which urinal to use. For those who don't know, here are the unwritten urinal rules:

1: If there's no one in, use the urinal furthest from the door. This will prevent being accidentally pushed by other people.

2: If there's a man using a urinal, use the one furthest away from him. For example, if he's using the one furthest from the door, use the closest one. Keep as much space between you and the other people as possible.

3: Always make sure there's at least one urinal between you and another person if possible. If not possible, either wait or use a stall. There is an exception to this rule: if someone is at the second from the end, you can use the end urinal as long as you look away from the person next to you.

Now you know how to use a urinal correctly.

This applies to buses, trains, lifts, and anything that people use the same entry to get on and off. I like how people follow this rule so well... Well, most people.

Surely this is just plain good manners and not an unwritten rule?

It's instinctive for any of us when we step into a lift to face the front. It's an unwritten rule that almost everybody follows without thinking about it.

The fast lane is only for overtaking. Don't stay in the fast lane unless you can't get back into the other lane or you're going fast enough to keep up with the speed in the fast lane. If someone wants to overtake you, either go faster or move into a slower lane. Be aware of speed cameras though.

There are only two times you can use these. Either if:

1. You're the only one on the road for as far as you can see on a dark road. You can't see oncoming headlights from other motorists. If you do see somebody's headlights, revert to your regular beams until they pass and there's no other motorists.

2. Or the other occasion is if you just want to be an arse on the road to other motorists. If you do this to me, I'll find you... and then you'll wish you never did it to me.

When the host of the party starts to clean up, the party is over. Go home.

I hate people who do nothing in a queue and then realize they had to get their wallet out to buy the item. It's wasting time. You should get your wallet out while queuing, you stupid person. Paying isn't a surprise, is it?

Please, not everyone likes your sweat. If everyone did this, the world would be a much nicer place.

Nothing is worse than sitting in a cinema with a tall person in front of you. If you're this person, please sit at the back. I do, so why can't you as well?

It would be a smart idea to make the back seats in a cinema have more legroom. Then my small friends wouldn't have to bother about a person's head blocking the screen.

Or stand if you're taking group photos.