Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

The Top Ten

1 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

I said this to my mom and she said I have issues :) Thanks for this!

*I am a Potato!

Laugh out loud I like this one. but I am not a potato I am... A MARSHMALLOW! Cruz I squishy and soft and as pail as a ghost. So me is a marshmallow. laugh out loud

Ahaha made me laugh

I like this lol

V 98 Comments
2 I will beat you with a small child.

Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list. - fireinside96

Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! Lmfao... I am literally seeing myself. Laugh out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world. Ps. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4 Re: T-rex's are really dull and boring, being creative is free and apparently so is seeking attention laugh out loud.

Haha I fell of my bed laughing at this lol

V 76 Comments
3 Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.

, I had a hair named Jean, but he died.

This is legit the best one here

Why wouldn't you

V 35 Comments
4 Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.

HaHa! My teacher TOTALLY freaked out when I asked her to tell some news to my class, and I SAID IT! EVERYONE burst out laughing! My teacher laughed too! She said I was CRAZY!

Funny and corny @ the same time

Ha, so stupid its funny. Cx


V 37 Comments
5 Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(

I told all my friends this and they called me crazy... In a good way

That is the most hilarious thing since I saw my puppy dog licking my sisters barbie dolls butt

Lol - Camaro6

V 47 Comments
6 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

Make sure to say the J don't make it silent

Say it in a spanish accent too

I said it in a Spanish accent just to myself and started cracking up laughing for a good 10 minutes. Thank you - JaneMoffat

I said this to my brother last year, lets just say he is still laughing.

is cool

V 27 Comments
7 A giant baby head squished Obama

I said this to my mom lol

What about obama care

Who cares about obama?


V 5 Comments
8 One time I died but I got better.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.

I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?

I'm dead right now what prescription did you use. I mean I tried everything, water uh worms and more stuff yeah


Shawn owo

V 33 Comments
9 "Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"

This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.

I said this to my mom but instead I said have you seen rocket? (my dog) he is about,... 1 foot tall and hates bananas, he is black and I think he's got swag

My best friend laughs every time I tell her this. - funnyuser

Its not that funnny its not even making me smile - takemealiens

V 9 Comments
10 *tap on somebody's sholder* can I sniff your butt?

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans. - anonygirl

Wow I'm sitting in class and just saying these out loud lol

This is very funny and I said this to my boss and now am fired

The Newcomers

? You rope!
? Which body part of the hen is chicken breast? Its chest or its boobs?

The Contenders

11 Allahu Akbar

Muslims are real people I'm muslim n real we don't mock your religion don't mock ours

Half life 3 confirmed.

Allah Akbar means allah is greater personally I am Christian but I still find this funny

I say it every time I am frustrated with someone

V 22 Comments
12 *someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

I did that once when my math teacher walked by me. She called my and asked if I had took my medicine today. LOL! - Kassiewalton

A boy did that to me when I was in 5th grade. - anonygirl

I'm so gonna try that one

ha ha ha

V 4 Comments
13 This is like retards humping a door nob

I'm a retard, I find this offensive

I didn't know other people did that too like can I have a orgy for this

Socially inappropriate comments are always good for a laugh. - Felon


V 38 Comments
14 Eat my pants!

Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..

I remember a guy saying this!

I'm pretty sure someone from either SpongeBob or Icarly or victorious has said it, I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!

Eat pant. - Cyri

V 18 Comments
15 Compass is a microphone who can really eat things aether

OOHH. Haha I get it

16 Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.

This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all

It's all fun in games until you wake up having AIDS -.-

:( that is mean


V 14 Comments
17 A balloon just flew out my ass

One of my close friends said this to me and now I know where she got it from. I was looking to see if there was something I could say back that is just as weird, now I can.

Haha I literally laugh out loud and my husband ask why I told him what it says and he thought I was dumb laugh out loud. Very funny for me!

Excuse me teacher... my but plug fell out can I go use the restroom and up the size

This is super relatable

V 18 Comments
18 You know what day it is? Monday!

Lol I did that to my brother and he still hates me for it

This is funny imma do it Monday in the middle of class

Guess what? It is monday!

IT IS MONDAY, but I'm gonna say it in 24 minutes, where it'll be Tuesday! Yes, I'm up at midnight. - MaxAurelius

V 7 Comments
19 I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!

This is hilarious

Same except... I don't know how to breakdance... or juggle but yes

My mom laught her ass of when I said it in the super market

The only one I laughed at!
- TheDuttyGyal

V 3 Comments
20 Cock

In your bum bum




V 2 Comments
21 Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

This will be my gmail status!

I think it is weird that pineapples never wear bikinis and my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes

I've always pondered this question. - MaxAurelius

V 18 Comments
22 If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast?

This made me laugh out loud, I love it

If people kill people, not guns, then food heats up food, not microwaves. - anonygirl

Lol that was hilarious

Lol, I said this to my friends but I got confused while even trying to say it so they started laughing so hard, I just had to jion them. LOL

V 9 Comments
23 Hi Billy Mays Here

And today I'm going to show you how to have oral sex with a dog - skooter1

Except you say this as loud as possible.

Why isn't this at the top though - VoidSense

Hi, I'm Ryan Higa. - AlphaQ

V 2 Comments
24 Physics!

So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Physics!

Reminds me of 10th doctor

Is great... - Ananya

25 Full on zeppelin hands

This made me so happy inside. blinking brilliant! 10/10 would recommend to @nirsty30. great account would follow if I was u.

26 I like porkchops!

I like trains

Why isn't this number one? X,D - VoidSense

I like pigs

I read this a “I like pock chorps”

27 Pootis

Cool pinto beans!

I love this x,D - VoidSense

28 I like cheese.

Then go to the moon.

This is so true...

I like cheese. It is good.

My nan on toast

V 1 Comment
29 I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat

Your gonna hurt it! Who are you, Trevor!

Me too, it's very therapeutic


30 You're a lizard, Harry.

After Harry Potter slipped into a coma, scientists examined him and his genetic structure. After hours of research, they discovered that Harry was indeed a wizard. - MaxAurelius

Yes harry potter is the best

You're a Lizard, Larry.

So true

V 9 Comments
31 My cat's name is mittens!

Said Helen Keller as she held a dog.

That is literally my cats name what

Get it from the back!
Tawny habblett

My cat's name is ACTUALLY MITTENS! - MaxAurelius

32 I eat babies.

Holy CRAP! Hope I can rewind time! - moose4life19

Yo mama is so fat when god said let there be light he asked her to move out of the way!

That's just weird what

deez nutz

V 19 Comments
33 Walls aren't the men who eat cake

This is so random. I love it, I'm a pretty random person.

Yummy... walls are so tasty though

I like cake


V 2 Comments
34 I once made a pop-up book about charades!

Wow, I would like to see it. - anonygirl

The book was for my mom

35 Corn Dog Corn Dog Corn Diggedy Dog

Even better say it in a Mickey mouse voice

Love this made me lol

Hot diggity damn I have to go jump in a galactic hole with tap dancing demons while chugging root beer and devouring corn dogs - IceFoxPlayz

LOL! - anonygirl

36 Mamma Mia, that's a spicy meatball!

That's what she said.


This would be better using a bad Italian accent! ~Mistyrain

That’s what Mario and Luigi would say to Daisy and Peach, because they’re both Italians - IceFoxPlayz

37 And I like Windows 98!

It's nice that you respect the past, especially with computer systems. - anonygirl

38 I left my penis in Texas.

It would have been funny if someone actually said that in Texas. - anonygirl

And it was served as my neighbor's dinner. He fainted. The end. - AlphaQ

Its in my bum bum


V 3 Comments
39 Wait I forgot my bathing suit!

I think birthday suit would've made me laugh harder...

Are you going swimming or something? - anonygirl

40 Did you even look at the napkin?

Very weird and funny

41 I'm Batman

And I'm the joker!

And your not potato. I'm a potato. I'm the most obsessed one in the world. Your an onion that made me cry.

And I am ( long pause) Bob ( woman screams and starts running) - TheMazeRuner


V 7 Comments
42 Could you hold my cocaine while I tie my shoes?


43 Gotta go fast!

My llama says gotta reach a higher velocity

That's what she said.

It made my friends laugh

44 Google my pie!

I did just this and the first thing that came up was My Pie Pizzeria Romana... Interesting

I did, and I found out it was a pizza restaurant. - anonygirl

Oh man, I read "giggle my pie"! Do I have dyslexia? X

Stupidst google search

V 1 Comment
45 Yee

Yee I be your mother

Yes my child

46 That's great. Can I have some jam?

This works for EVERYTHING!

Sorry, but I do not have any. - anonygirl

Banta for days


47 The llama says obey

And... happy llama sad llama mentally disturbed llama super llama drama llama big fat mama llama

I got another random phrase: my llama tap dances on the ceiling to get balloons to talk to it

This makes me think often Morgan Freeman

Obey da holy llama or else you will die - IceFoxPlayz

V 3 Comments
48 Buenos nachos, señorita.

Ha...that's funny...nachos...haha *awkwardly laughs*

49 Britgirl and Positronwildhawk are in love.

They probably do not know who those people are. - anonygirl

I'm IN LOVE WIT the COCO. - AlphaQ

50 Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*

This is very weird. I LOVE THIS! - funnyuser

Exact example of my life

I almost fainted.

That's a car derp._.

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Top Remixes (25)

1. You know what day it is? Monday!
2. I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!
3. I once made a pop-up book about charades!
1. Allahu Akbar
2. Cock
3. Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
1. A giant baby head squished Obama
2. You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
3. Shhh, the pencils are resting

View All 25


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