Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

The Top Ten

1 I will beat you with a small child.

Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list. - fireinside96

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! Lmfao... I am literally seeing myself. Laugh out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world. Ps. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4 Re: T-rex's are really dull and boring, being creative is free and apparently so is seeking attention laugh out loud.

Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."

I said this to a cop he put me in hand =cuffs

V 62 Comments
2 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

I said this to my mom and she said I have issues :) Thanks for this!

*I am a Potato!

Laugh out loud I like this one. but I am not a potato I am... A MARSHMALLOW! Cruz I squishy and soft and as pail as a ghost. So me is a marshmallow. laugh out loud

Ahaha made me laugh

We both have skin sooo... We must be an ancestor of a monkey and a potato...
Wander how that works

V 63 Comments
3 Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(

I told all my friends this and they called me crazy... In a good way

That is the most hilarious thing since I saw my puppy dog licking my sisters barbie dolls butt

I told this to my friend and she said I do the same but in pink and be a pig

V 42 Comments
4 Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.

HaHa! My teacher TOTALLY freaked out when I asked her to tell some news to my class, and I SAID IT! EVERYONE burst out laughing! My teacher laughed too! She said I was CRAZY!

Funny and corny @ the same time

Ha, so stupid its funny. Cx

Funny like your face

V 33 Comments
5 Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.

, I had a hair named Jean, but he died.

This is legit the best one here

True story by the way - alpacacupid

V 26 Comments
6 Eat my pants!

Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..

I remember a guy saying this!

I'm pretty sure someone from either SpongeBob or Icarly or victorious has said it, I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!

Awww eat my shorts! - my boyfriend 2k18

V 15 Comments
7 One time I died but I got better.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.

I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?

I'm dead right now what prescription did you use. I mean I tried everything, water uh worms and more stuff yeah


Stupid but funny at the same time with a pinch of cleverness.

V 28 Comments
8 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

Make sure to say the J don't make it silent

Say it in a spanish accent too

I said it in a Spanish accent just to myself and started cracking up laughing for a good 10 minutes. Thank you - JaneMoffat

I said this to my brother last year, lets just say he is still laughing.


V 26 Comments
9 Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

This will be my gmail status!

I think it is weird that pineapples never wear bikinis and my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes


V 15 Comments
10 I eat babies.

Holy CRAP! Hope I can rewind time! - moose4life19

Yo mama is so fat when god said let there be light he asked her to move out of the way!

That's just weird what

I yell out I eat kids

V 12 Comments

The Contenders

11 This is like retards humping a door nob

I'm a retard, I find this offensive

I didn't know other people did that too like can I have a orgy for this

Socially inappropriate comments are always good for a laugh. - Felon


V 27 Comments
12 A giant baby head squished Obama

What about obama care

Who cares about obama?

Yea What about Omama Care?

Oml that's hilarious - wrests

V 3 Comments
13 "Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"

This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.

I said this to my mom but instead I said have you seen rocket? (my dog) he is about,... 1 foot tall and hates bananas, he is black and I think he's got swag

My best friend laughs every time I tell her this. - funnyuser


V 7 Comments
14 *tap on somebody's sholder* can I sniff your butt?

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans. - anonygirl

Wow I'm sitting in class and just saying these out loud lol

15 Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.

This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all

It's all fun in games until you wake up having AIDS -.-

:( that is mean


V 14 Comments
16 Allahu Akbar

Half life 3 confirmed.

Allah Akbar means allah is greater personally I am Christian but I still find this funny

This will definitely make a crowd laugh, as it has before!

Haha you will get arrested though

V 18 Comments
17 Salty sticks of brilliance.

Fuzzyshadow of Leopardclan

This is something me and my friends would say while eating pretzels with salt or something


Love it!

What type

V 1 Comment
18 *someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

I did that once when my math teacher walked by me. She called my and asked if I had took my medicine today. LOL! - Kassiewalton

A boy did that to me when I was in 5th grade. - anonygirl

I'm so gonna try that one

ha ha ha

V 4 Comments
19 I like farting

I do it all the time

This matches my brother's personality

That's so hilarious dude! My friends say it all of the time! LOLOLOLOLOL

U do oh I like pooping

V 2 Comments
20 Sometimes, I dream about cheese...

I like to lay in my bathtub with loads of cheese and tomato's on my naked body and roll up in a nice tortilla wrap and pretend I'm a chicken wrap.

I dream about it too

I do all the time

I do for the holes...I arm weird - alpacacupid

V 11 Comments
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Top Remixes (24)

1. You know what day it is? Monday!
2. I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!
3. I once made a pop-up book about charades!
1. Allahu Akbar
2. Cock
3. Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
1. A giant baby head squished Obama
2. You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
3. Shhh, the pencils are resting

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