Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

The Top Ten

1 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

This is the weirdest logic that I've ever heard of - SirSheep



I like this lol

V 105 Comments
2 I will beat you with a small child.

Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list. - fireinside96

I'm in class and I'm having a hard time not bursting out laughing

Props to who made this up

Haha I fell of my bed laughing at this lol

V 78 Comments
3 Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.


I wouldn't know what to say to this person other than "you probably need help." - SirSheep

Why wouldn't you

V 38 Comments
4 Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.

Love this joke!


HaHa! My teacher TOTALLY freaked out when I asked her to tell some news to my class, and I SAID IT! EVERYONE burst out laughing! My teacher laughed too! She said I was CRAZY!

Funny and corny @ the same time

V 38 Comments
5 Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(


Lol - Camaro6

Oooh I should do this - takemealiens

V 48 Comments
6 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

Make sure to say the J don't make it silent

Say it in a spanish accent too

I said it in a Spanish accent just to myself and started cracking up laughing for a good 10 minutes. Thank you - JaneMoffat

Its even more funny if you just say shhh, its sleeping point at empty corner of room

is cool

V 27 Comments
7 A giant baby head squished Obama


I said this to my mom lol


What about obama care

V 6 Comments
8 One time I died but I got better.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.

I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?

, this is actually possible


V 33 Comments
9 "Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"

Its not that funnny its not even making me smile - takemealiens

I'm getting the reference

This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.

I said this to my mom but instead I said have you seen rocket? (my dog) he is about,... 1 foot tall and hates bananas, he is black and I think he's got swag

V 9 Comments
10 *tap on somebody's sholder* can I sniff your butt?


This is very funny and I said this to my boss and now am fired

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans. - anonygirl

Wow I'm sitting in class and just saying these out loud lol

The Newcomers

? Does bear mace work on koalas?

The Contenders

11 Allahu Akbar

My friend yelled this in class

Lmao said this to my principal who speaks Indian or something lol I don't know and he murdered the entire school

I say it every time I am frustrated with someone

Yell it out to make it even funnier.

Me: ALLAHU AKBAR * explosion * - IceFoxPlayz

V 24 Comments
12 *someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

Haha saying all of these to my friends


I did that once when my math teacher walked by me. She called my and asked if I had took my medicine today. LOL! - Kassiewalton

A boy did that to me when I was in 5th grade. - anonygirl

V 6 Comments
13 This is like retards humping a door nob

Yeah autism autistic that
Means you are insulting my own existence on this human race (ya know what they say with/about the r word spread the word to end the word respect before retard

Very offensive to people who actually do have a mental ilness, or who are really retarded. I suggest you take this one down.

I'm a retard, I find this offensive

Or monkeys humping a balloon

V 40 Comments
14 Eat my pants!

Eat pant. - Cyri

Yes eat my pants,LOL!

Brat sampson

Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..

V 18 Comments
15 Compass is a microphone who can really eat things aether

OOHH. Haha I get it

16 Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.

This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all

It's all fun in games until you wake up having AIDS -.-

:( that is mean

Not funny AIDs kills people

V 14 Comments
17 A balloon just flew out my ass

This is super relatable

This is funny

Welp my ass exploded

One of my close friends said this to me and now I know where she got it from. I was looking to see if there was something I could say back that is just as weird, now I can.

V 18 Comments
18 You know what day it is? Monday!

Actually monday here in Australia

IT IS MONDAY, but I'm gonna say it in 24 minutes, where it'll be Tuesday! Yes, I'm up at midnight. - MaxAurelius

This is funny imma do it Monday in the middle of class

Lol I did that to my brother and he still hates me for it

V 8 Comments
19 I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!

The only one I laughed at!
- TheDuttyGyal

You know what? you're not very cash money

This is hilarious

Same except... I don't know how to breakdance... or juggle but yes

V 3 Comments
20 Cock

*suck* *suck* *suck*

Nice story bro


In your bum bum

V 4 Comments
21 If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast?

Wait... illuminati confirmed?

Lol, I said this to my friends but I got confused while even trying to say it so they started laughing so hard, I just had to jion them. LOL

This is so funny

This made me laugh out loud, I love it

V 10 Comments
22 Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.

Isn't it weird that no one found Sponge Bob's Pineapple?

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

I've always pondered this question. - MaxAurelius

This will be my gmail status!

V 18 Comments
23 Hi Billy Mays Here

Except you say this as loud as possible.

And today I'm going to show you how to have oral sex with a dog - skooter1

Why isn't this at the top though - VoidSense

Oh hi may whats next june

V 2 Comments
24 Physics!

So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Physics!

Reminds me of 10th doctor

Is great... - Ananya

25 I like porkchops!

I like turtles

I like trains

Why isn't this number one? X,D - VoidSense

I like pigs

V 1 Comment
26 Full on zeppelin hands

This made me so happy inside. blinking brilliant! 10/10 would recommend to @nirsty30. great account would follow if I was u.

27 Pootis

Cool pinto beans!

I love this x,D - VoidSense

28 I like cheese.

I like cheese. It is good.

Then go to the moon.

My nan on toast

This is so true...

V 1 Comment
29 You're a lizard, Harry.

Your a hairy wizard! - Skitzoid

Epik gamer moment bro

After Harry Potter slipped into a coma, scientists examined him and his genetic structure. After hours of research, they discovered that Harry was indeed a wizard. - MaxAurelius

So true

V 11 Comments
30 I eat babies.

Me too! 1

This is my motto

Holy CRAP! Hope I can rewind time! - moose4life19

"Little Baby's Ice Cream" yep, the most horrific thing I heard.

V 19 Comments
31 I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat


Your gonna hurt it! Who are you, Trevor!

Me too, it's very therapeutic

32 My cat's name is mittens!

My cat's name is ACTUALLY MITTENS! - MaxAurelius

That is literally my cats name what

Get it from the back!
Tawny habblett

Said Helen Keller as she held a dog.

33 Walls aren't the men who eat cake

I like cake


This is so random. I love it, I'm a pretty random person.

Yummy... walls are so tasty though

V 2 Comments
34 I once made a pop-up book about charades!

The book was for my mom

Wow, I would like to see it. - anonygirl

35 Corn Dog Corn Dog Corn Diggedy Dog

Hot diggity damn I have to go jump in a galactic hole with tap dancing demons while chugging root beer and devouring corn dogs - IceFoxPlayz

Even better say it in a Mickey mouse voice

Love this made me lol

LOL! - anonygirl

36 Mamma Mia, that's a spicy meatball!

Wow/well that is um okay mario


That's what she said.

That’s what Mario and Luigi would say to Daisy and Peach, because they’re both Italians - IceFoxPlayz

V 1 Comment
37 I left my penis in Texas.



It would have been funny if someone actually said that in Texas. - anonygirl

And it was served as my neighbor's dinner. He fainted. The end. - AlphaQ

V 4 Comments
38 And I like Windows 98!

It's nice that you respect the past, especially with computer systems. - anonygirl

39 Wait I forgot my bathing suit!

I think birthday suit would've made me laugh harder...

Are you going swimming or something? - anonygirl

40 Did you even look at the napkin?

Very weird and funny

41 I'm Batman

And I'm the joker!

And your not potato. I'm a potato. I'm the most obsessed one in the world. Your an onion that made me cry.

And I am ( long pause) Bob ( woman screams and starts running) - TheMazeRuner

And I am ( long pause) Bob ( everyone screams) - TheMazeRuner

V 7 Comments
42 Could you hold my cocaine while I tie my shoes?

Most funny


43 Gotta go fast!

My llama says gotta reach a higher velocity

That's what she said.

It made my friends laugh

44 Google my pie!

Stupidst google search

I did just this and the first thing that came up was My Pie Pizzeria Romana... Interesting

I did, and I found out it was a pizza restaurant. - anonygirl

Oh man, I read "giggle my pie"! Do I have dyslexia? X

V 1 Comment
45 Yee

Yee I be your mother

Yes my child

46 Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*

Get this higher! Only at 49! Man people are dumb



This has to be at least at the top 5😆

V 4 Comments
47 The llama says obey

Obey da holy llama or else you will die - IceFoxPlayz

And... happy llama sad llama mentally disturbed llama super llama drama llama big fat mama llama

I got another random phrase: my llama tap dances on the ceiling to get balloons to talk to it

This makes me think often Morgan Freeman

V 3 Comments
48 That's great. Can I have some jam?

This works for EVERYTHING!

Sorry, but I do not have any. - anonygirl

Banta for days


49 Buenos nachos, señorita.

Ha...that's funny...nachos...haha *awkwardly laughs*

50 Britgirl and Positronwildhawk are in love.

They probably do not know who those people are. - anonygirl

I'm IN LOVE WIT the COCO. - AlphaQ

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654 listings
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Top Remixes (26)

1. You know what day it is? Monday!
2. I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!
3. I once made a pop-up book about charades!
1. Allahu Akbar
2. Cock
3. Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
1. A giant baby head squished Obama
2. You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
3. Shhh, the pencils are resting

View All 26


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