Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

The Top Ten

1 I will beat you with a small child.

Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list. - fireinside96

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! Lmfao... I am literally seeing myself. Laugh out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world. Ps. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4 Re: T-rex's are really dull and boring, being creative is free and apparently so is seeking attention laugh out loud.

Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."

I said this to a cop he put me in hand =cuffs

V 62 Comments
2 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

I said this to my mom and she said I have issues :) Thanks for this!

*I am a Potato!

Laugh out loud I like this one. but I am not a potato I am... A MARSHMALLOW! Cruz I squishy and soft and as pail as a ghost. So me is a marshmallow. laugh out loud

Ahaha made me laugh

I LOVE IT! My friends are obsessed with potatoes so I will tell them this and their minds will be blown! #PotatoLife

V 68 Comments
3 Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(

I told all my friends this and they called me crazy... In a good way

That is the most hilarious thing since I saw my puppy dog licking my sisters barbie dolls butt

I told this to my friend and she said I do the same but in pink and be a pig

V 42 Comments
4 Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.

HaHa! My teacher TOTALLY freaked out when I asked her to tell some news to my class, and I SAID IT! EVERYONE burst out laughing! My teacher laughed too! She said I was CRAZY!

Funny and corny @ the same time

Ha, so stupid its funny. Cx

Amazing I laughed so hard I couldn’t even breath and then I farted

V 35 Comments
5 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

Make sure to say the J don't make it silent

Say it in a spanish accent too

I said it in a Spanish accent just to myself and started cracking up laughing for a good 10 minutes. Thank you - JaneMoffat

I said this to my brother last year, lets just say he is still laughing.

Its even more funny if you just say shhh, its sleeping point at empty corner of room

V 27 Comments
6 Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.

, I had a hair named Jean, but he died.

This is legit the best one here

True story by the way - alpacacupid

V 26 Comments
7 Eat my pants!

Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..

I remember a guy saying this!

I'm pretty sure someone from either SpongeBob or Icarly or victorious has said it, I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!

Awww eat my shorts! - my boyfriend 2k18

V 15 Comments
8 One time I died but I got better.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.

I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?

I'm dead right now what prescription did you use. I mean I tried everything, water uh worms and more stuff yeah



V 29 Comments
9 Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

This will be my gmail status!

I think it is weird that pineapples never wear bikinis and my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes


V 15 Comments
10 I eat babies.

Holy CRAP! Hope I can rewind time! - moose4life19

Yo mama is so fat when god said let there be light he asked her to move out of the way!

That's just weird what

I yell out I eat kids

V 12 Comments

The Newcomers

? I'm not carrying eggs!!

Not joking when I say a woman spread her arms emphatically and shouted this across London's busy Embankment just a few minutes ago. I laughed. I couldn't help it. - Britgirl

The Contenders

11 This is like retards humping a door nob

I'm a retard, I find this offensive

I didn't know other people did that too like can I have a orgy for this

Socially inappropriate comments are always good for a laugh. - Felon

This is offensive to me as a door nob.

V 28 Comments
12 A giant baby head squished Obama

What about obama care

Who cares about obama?

Yea What about Omama Care?

Oml that's hilarious - wrests

V 3 Comments
13 "Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"

This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.

I said this to my mom but instead I said have you seen rocket? (my dog) he is about,... 1 foot tall and hates bananas, he is black and I think he's got swag

My best friend laughs every time I tell her this. - funnyuser


V 7 Comments
14 *someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

I did that once when my math teacher walked by me. She called my and asked if I had took my medicine today. LOL! - Kassiewalton

A boy did that to me when I was in 5th grade. - anonygirl

I'm so gonna try that one

ha ha ha

V 4 Comments
15 *tap on somebody's sholder* can I sniff your butt?

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans. - anonygirl

Wow I'm sitting in class and just saying these out loud lol

16 Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.

This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all

It's all fun in games until you wake up having AIDS -.-

:( that is mean


V 14 Comments
17 Allahu Akbar

Half life 3 confirmed.

Allah Akbar means allah is greater personally I am Christian but I still find this funny

This will definitely make a crowd laugh, as it has before!

Haha you will get arrested though

V 18 Comments
18 Salty sticks of brilliance.

Fuzzyshadow of Leopardclan

This is something me and my friends would say while eating pretzels with salt or something


Love it!

What type

V 1 Comment
19 I like farting

I do it all the time

Perfect. My dog is farting in the background

This matches my brother's personality

U do oh I like pooping

V 3 Comments
20 Sometimes, I dream about cheese...

I like to lay in my bathtub with loads of cheese and tomato's on my naked body and roll up in a nice tortilla wrap and pretend I'm a chicken wrap.

I dream about it too

I do all the time

I do for the holes...I arm weird - alpacacupid

V 11 Comments
21 And I like Windows 98!

It's nice that you respect the past, especially with computer systems. - anonygirl

22 A balloon just flew out my ass

One of my close friends said this to me and now I know where she got it from. I was looking to see if there was something I could say back that is just as weird, now I can.

Haha I literally laugh out loud and my husband ask why I told him what it says and he thought I was dumb laugh out loud. Very funny for me!

Excuse me teacher... my but plug fell out can I go use the restroom and up the size

So hilarious

V 11 Comments
23 Pole Dancing Ducks

Okay, first, search Beastie Boys To All The Girls. Then sing this song in the crowd. But this. Is also funny and random. I SAW THIS ONCE.

Lol. Hip hop pigeons

24 You know what day it is? Monday!

Lol I did that to my brother and he still hates me for it

This is funny imma do it Monday in the middle of class

Guess what? It is monday!

Nuu! Not monday!

V 4 Comments
25 Compass is a microphone who can really eat things aether

OOHH. Haha I get it

26 *Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....

Hahahaha. I have a friend who would do this.

V 2 Comments
27 "What is the difference between an orange? A bicycle, because pants have no sleeves."

The answer can't be butter if sausages ate donald duck..In fact, burgers ate the letter red because of this.

I told my friend this... He just walked away...

This made me hard. Thanks!


V 5 Comments
28 I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!

This is hilarious

Same except... I don't know how to breakdance... or juggle but yes

My mom laught her ass of when I said it in the super market

My man!

V 1 Comment
29 Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!

If someone said that he would be right. We would all die because we laughed so hard. YAY! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! I'M SO HAPPY! - Abc123vote

After a long interval you can become the people.. So why let it go... Enjoy the life... But it don't meant that waste it... Enjoy with your aim...

Awesomeness! I don't know why I like this one so much... but I do... but don't die... then you won't be able to come up with another awesome Random Thing To Say...


V 9 Comments
30 I think I have forgotten how to breathe

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe... - Elina

Say in a raspy voice

I can't breathe!

Mmmm, I know how it feels

V 3 Comments
31 Cock

In your bum bum




V 1 Comment
32 I like porkchops!

I like trains

Why isn't this number one? X,D - VoidSense

I like pigs

33 Physics!

Reminds me of 10th doctor

Is great... - Ananya

34 Full on zeppelin hands
35 "I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"

I thought people usually like that...:P - Ananya

Lmao. That's what she said.

Ok! *breaks the Up CD* - AlphaQ

36 If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast?

This made me laugh out loud, I love it

If people kill people, not guns, then food heats up food, not microwaves. - anonygirl

Lol that was hilarious


V 5 Comments
37 I like cheese.

Then go to the moon.

This is so true...

My nan on toast

me too

38 I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat

Your gonna hurt it! Who are you, Trevor!

Me too, it's very therapeutic

39 Walls aren't the men who eat cake

This is so random. I love it, I'm a pretty random person.

Yummy... walls are so tasty though


Are you sure...

V 1 Comment
40 My penis is on fire.

Wait, are you taking it that way, or the other way?

I beat mine with a brick to put the fire out, don't worry both are pretty hard...

My balls are toasted thanks to a banana name Rekcufrehtom. - AlphaQ

AAA! Find some water and put it out! - anonygirl

V 8 Comments
41 You're a lizard, Harry.

I love harry potter!

You're a blizzard Harry.

I love Harry Potter to


uh ya well your a harry wizard

V 1 Comment
42 My cat's name is mittens!
43 I once made a pop-up book about charades!

Wow, I would like to see it. - anonygirl

44 A potato flew around my room before you came

I love this lol

The Potato of Congreve! - ShadowSelfSatonaka

45 This is a great jumping song

Cock is my favorite flavor of popcicle


JUMP AROUND!... JUMP AROUND! - FernandoLemon

46 A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.

Gonna save the humanity I suppose?
They could use this idea in games?...nah, it'll ruin the producers - Ananya

47 I like trains

Would certainly involve a lot of people getting run over... - ThatStrangeKid42

Since the day he was born he never said a word not even to his parents not a single word was heard but on the first day of school the teacher asked his name all he did was smile as he said I LICK TRAINS wait that's not right I LIKE TRAINS better

I love saying this! I always shout it out in my English lesson! - alessindapalace

It's I LIEK TRAINS. Perfection lrl

V 15 Comments
48 I left my penis in Texas.

It would have been funny if someone actually said that in Texas. - anonygirl

And it was served as my neighbor's dinner. He fainted. The end. - AlphaQ

Its in my bum bum

That's why... :P - Ananya

V 1 Comment
49 Mamma Mia, that's a spicy meatball!

That's what she said.

This would be better using a bad Italian accent! ~Mistyrain

50 Wait I forgot my bathing suit!

I think birthday suit would've made me laugh harder...

Are you going swimming or something? - anonygirl

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List Stats

5,000 votes
643 listings
8 years, 59 days old

Top Remixes (25)

1. You know what day it is? Monday!
2. I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!
3. I once made a pop-up book about charades!
1. Allahu Akbar
2. Cock
3. Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
1. A giant baby head squished Obama
2. You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
3. Shhh, the pencils are resting

View All 25


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