Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

The Top Ten

1 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

YES! I say this to my friends all the time, and they crack up every time.

I said this to my mom and she said I have issues :) Thanks for this!

*I am a Potato!

Laugh out loud I like this one. but I am not a potato I am... A MARSHMALLOW! Cruz I squishy and soft and as pail as a ghost. So me is a marshmallow. laugh out loud

Ahaha made me laugh

2 I will beat you with a small child.

Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

I will definitely be using this one next time my sister or friends are being annoying.

Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! Lmfao... I am literally seeing myself. Laugh out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world. Ps. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4 Re: T-rex's are really dull and boring, being creative is free and apparently so is seeking attention laugh out loud.

3 Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.

, I had a hair named Jean, but he died.

I wouldn't know what to say to this person other than "you probably need help."

This is legit the best one here

4 Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.

HaHa! My teacher TOTALLY freaked out when I asked her to tell some news to my class, and I SAID IT! EVERYONE burst out laughing! My teacher laughed too! She said I was CRAZY!

Funny and corny @ the same time

Ha, so stupid its funny. Cx

I love this item! It's so hilarious!

5 Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(

I told all my friends this and they called me crazy... In a good way

That is the most hilarious thing since I saw my puppy dog licking my sisters barbie dolls butt

I'm obsessed with potatoes so when I saw this I laughed until I ran out of breath. My friends wouldn't be surprised of I said this to them

6 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

Make sure to say the J don't make it silent

Say it in a spanish accent too

I said it in a Spanish accent just to myself and started cracking up laughing for a good 10 minutes. Thank you

I said this to my brother last year, lets just say he is still laughing.

What's next? The tomatoes are napping? The bananas are snoozing? The pumpkins are catching some sleep? Lol

7 A giant baby head squished Obama

What about obama care

I said this to my mom lol

Who cares about obama?

Yea What about Omama Care?

8 One time I died but I got better.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.

I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?

I'm dead right now what prescription did you use. I mean I tried everything, water uh worms and more stuff yeah


It's funny and throws people off because it doesn't make sense and it's not too outrageous

9 "Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"

This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.

I said this to my mom but instead I said have you seen rocket? (my dog) he is about,... 1 foot tall and hates bananas, he is black and I think he's got swag

My best friend laughs every time I tell her this.

This stinks way too racist

10 *tap on somebody's sholder* can I sniff your butt?

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans.

Wow I'm sitting in class and just saying these out loud lol

This is very funny and I said this to my boss and now am fired

Butts smell very good

The Contenders

11 Allahu Akbar

I don't mock your religion so don't you do it to me and my fellow Muslims.

This is a bit disrespectful, but something this random would still be very funny.

Muslims are real people I'm muslim n real we don't mock your religion don't mock ours

Half life 3 confirmed.

12 *someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

I did that once when my math teacher walked by me. She called my and asked if I had took my medicine today. LOL!

A boy did that to me when I was in 5th grade.

I'm so gonna try that one

Haha saying all of these to my friends

13 This is like retards humping a door nob

I have Autism and I am not offended by this. I think its fine. But some people don't like it so you should be considerate of their feelings as well.

I'm a retard, I find this offensive

I didn't know other people did that too like can I have a orgy for this

Socially inappropriate comments are always good for a laugh.

14 Eat my pants!

I used this when I was playing Mario Kart with my sister and I got ahead

Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..

I remember a guy saying this!

I'm pretty sure someone from either SpongeBob or Icarly or victorious has said it, I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!

15 Compass is a microphone who can really eat things aether

OOHH. Haha I get it

16 Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.

This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all

It's all fun in games until you wake up having AIDS -.-

Not funny AIDs kills people

:( that is mean

17 A balloon just flew out my ass

One of my close friends said this to me and now I know where she got it from. I was looking to see if there was something I could say back that is just as weird, now I can.

Haha I literally laugh out loud and my husband ask why I told him what it says and he thought I was dumb laugh out loud. Very funny for me!

Excuse me teacher... my but plug fell out can I go use the restroom and up the size

Doesn't that mean the balloon contain fart? Seems legit

18 You know what day it is? Monday!

Lol I did that to my brother and he still hates me for it

Actually monday here in Australia

This is funny imma do it Monday in the middle of class

Guess what? It is monday!

19 I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!

This is hilarious

Same except... I don't know how to breakdance... or juggle but yes

The only one I laughed at!
- TheDuttyGyal

My mom laught her ass of when I said it in the super market

20 Cock

In your bum bum

*suck* *suck* *suck*

Nice story bro


21 If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast?

This made me laugh out loud, I love it

If people kill people, not guns, then food heats up food, not microwaves.

Lol, I said this to my friends but I got confused while even trying to say it so they started laughing so hard, I just had to jion them. LOL

Wait... illuminati confirmed?

22 Hi Billy Mays Here

And today I'm going to show you how to have oral sex with a dog

Except you say this as loud as possible.

Why isn't this at the top though

Oh hi may whats next june

23 Physics!

So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Physics!

Reminds me of 10th doctor

Is great...

24 Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

This will be my gmail status!

I think it is weird that pineapples never wear bikinis and my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes

I've always pondered this question.

25 I like porkchops!

I like trains

I like turtles

I like pigs

Why isn't this number one? X,D

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