Top 10 Millennial Burger Joint Stereotypes

The Top Ten
  1. $20 Handhelds

    Every millennial burger joint is the same in the fact that they love to make burgers and sandwiches overpriced. They love to make the most overrated and underwhelming burgers you've ever had and charge $20 for them, and that's JUST the burger! Oh, I'm sorry, "handhelds," because apparently, God forbid these places call a burger and sandwich what they are.

  2. A "Crazy Dream" Origin Story

    Every single one of these places claims to have a unique history and origin story, yet it's always a "crazy dream," and it's always just two guys who were roommates in college who came up with the concept. Bonus points if at least one of them dropped out of college. Not to rain on the parade, but that idea isn't unique or original. It's always the same copy-and-paste idea with different words. Even more bonus points if there's a picture of the founders in flannel outfits with beards, and at least one of them has a man bun.

  3. At Least One Exposed Brick Wall

    I don't get the obsession with one wall just being exposed brick. I guess that's just an unofficial requirement? Maybe because they wanted to save money and didn't want to pay to paint it or something?

  4. Fries Sold Separately

    Relating to the $20 handheld item, they love to charge you extra just for a side of fries that come in a little metal cup of some kind. Oh, I'm sorry, "truffle fries," because that's totally different! I'm not paying $5.99 extra just for fries!

  5. Metallic Barstools

    The only seating to be found is these metallic barstools with no backsides, which are also super loud if you try to slightly move them. You know what I'm talking about. These chairs are intentionally designed to be uncomfortable.

  6. "Signature Aioli Sauce"

    Every place claims to have some house "signature sauce," and if they don't call it something like garlic or special aioli, it's always given some edgy name like "kicka** sauce." It's literally just ketchup and mayo, with nothing original about it.

  7. Menu Terminology

    Instead of appetizers, they're called "shareables." Instead of burgers and sandwiches, they're called "handhelds." Desserts are called "Sweet Treats," "Happy Endings," or something like that. The main burgers are always called something generic, like "The OG" or "The Local." Bonus points for a menu item with a local reference or a word like "bada**" or "kicka**."

    There's almost guaranteed to be a breakfast burger with a fried egg, a mac and cheese burger, a PBJ burger, or some other monstrosity. It's just weird names and terminology for no reason. Bonus points if there's a giant chalkboard menu as well.

  8. Mason Jars

    Pretty much any non-alcoholic beverage will come in a Mason jar instead of a regular cup for some reason, just to be different, I guess, even though every single burger joint is the same.

  9. Rustic Vibe

    There's at least one exposed wall, plus the ceiling is always exposed, and there's always reclaimed wood or distressed wood for some reason. On top of that, there's a giant chalkboard menu with a neon sign that says FOOD or EAT, and there are always hanging Edison light bulbs for some reason.

  10. Always Playing the Same Type of Music

    It's always this Indie Folk/Pop music. Songs like "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men, "Pompeii" by Bastille, "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers, "Riptide" by Vance Joy, and basically any song from Imagine Dragons. It's all the same. In fact, I made a list talking about these songs because they're so stereotypical. It's literally the same songs every time.

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