Top 10 Things Writers Are Sick of Hearing

The Top Ten
1 Put me in the story!

It's really annoying when random people in my class come up to me and ask to be in whatever story I'm writing at the time. I usually base my characters after a couple different people, but when everyone wants to make their character the way they want it to be, it messes the whole story up.

Funny story (pun intended, sorry): Someone asked to be put in the story. They died very quickly in an arena battle.

This is annoying. I'm not putting you in it because you IRRITATE me, so take that

2 You just can't write like (insert writer here)

I don't want to. This is my style. I don't want to write like J.K. Rowling. I don't want to write like Rick Riordan. There is a difference between wanting to write as WELL as them and wanting to write LIKE them. I want to write like me.

I've had this so many times. The moment I stated who my favourite authors are, my own personal writing style was compared to them. Well, no, thankfully I don't write like them; I have my own "voice". I merely use my favourite writers as a reliable source of inspiration and encouragement.

For one, that's not necessarily true. Two, maybe I don't like Edgar Guest, okay? (Or the other writer.) Three, other people don't like this writer. Four, I don't care, I'm still good. Five, you don't read any books, just like about everybody in modern day society, so why are you even saying this?

I don't care if I get told this because I don't aspire to be anyone other than myself.

3 When's the story done?

The more pressure you give, the later. I need to breathe!

4 Write (insert genre here), not the one you write.

I don't like reference books, lexicographer!

Write what you are comfortable writing.

5 Writer's block doesn't matter, just keep going!

I have experienced writer's block but I just find ways to overcome it and nip it in the bud as quickly as possible. There is inspiration everywhere you look.

It does matter. In every story I write, I get several of these, and I'm not just going to write some trash simply because I can't think of anything else!

Oh, for goodness' sake, it is affecting me right now! It is tough to get past sometimes!

6 Writing is a linear process, right?

Um, NO. Quite the opposite. Writing is an art form. It is not "I will write a novel just for the heck of it, just because I want to become the J.K. Rowling." Writing is a complex map. Everything has to play out as one cohesive piece, yet characters should be unique and have their own side stories. And the characters should not be flat as boards. That already adds quite a few strings to the web. There can be no plot holes. Quite another few strings. What's the motive for the antagonist/protagonist, what's the reason for this plot. About 1200 more strings. Now, what's THE THEME, WHAT'S THE REASON YOU ARE TRYING TO WRITE THIS PIECE, and how are you going to tie it in through the story. And, thus, writing is not a linear process, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

7 Just kill off (insert character name here)!

I like this character. Just for the fun of it, I'm going to put you in the story, and drop an anvil on your head, because my keyboard has the ability to.

EDIT: DO you just like death or something?

Characters, in their writer's brain, are like people within the mind and the page. When they die, the writer can feel like they lost something.

It's not that simple, and it's not your story. So shut up now.

8 Make it more realistic.

This is writing. It is art. It is music, it is emotion, it is tied straight to the soul. It is to convey a beautiful message that goes to your heart, yet it still has to be one eloquently written piece. To convey such a deep message, sometimes it simply isn't possible to "make it realistic". Maybe I wasn't GOING for realism. And MAYBE you should shut up now, because you never question the realism of Harry Potter.

People confuse "realistic" and "believable" quite often. A dragon, for example, is never realistic, but they can be believable in the story's world.

9 That's already a thing.

I'm aware. This is not plagiarism. Just because Wings of Fire has a dragon and my story has a dragon, that does not mean that my story = Wings of Fire. Also, go ahead, YOU try and write a story that's completely unique with no copied things from any other story, poem, or book on this planet.

Sometimes, that's the case. Other times, it's not. (If a select few of you are reading this, Nira is NOT a Peril clone. Just because she's a dragon who can burn you with a touch -on command in her case - doesn't mean they're the same.)

10 *Looks at first draft* Wow, you suck.

It's a first draft, nobody gets the story right on the first try!

In that case, why don't YOU try and write the next bestseller?

The Contenders
11 Writing is easy

Okay, this just makes me angry. Writing is hard. It requires dedication and patience and time. To come through and finish a piece, while still keeping it well written, is a feat of its own. We have to make three-dimensional characters. We have to make sure there are no plot holes. If we're going for a metaphorical style of writing, half the time, the plot is so deeply steeped in a strong message that there is no clear start, quest, resolution. We have to make you feel emotion. And then we come through, revise, and publish, and you criticize us for one teeny slip up. And if you still don't believe me, try to write even a somewhat decent piece of work yourself.

Thank you to the person who added this! It is only easy sometimes. It takes incredible patience.

No. "1% inspiration, 99% perspiration" It's really not easy, but the harder it is, the greater the rewards.

12 You should write this how I want it to be or I won't read your work anymore

Well, that's fine. If you don't like it, why should you see it? It's also not your story, dimwit. Sometimes the planet can't be destroyed by aliens, and just because you want it like that, there's no way that's how it's going to be.

As is the case with all art, unfortunately. Some people just have to have it their way.

Write it yourself

13 The main character will marry me?

No, they won't. I know exactly who ends up with whom.

No, he'll be your ex, snob! Only because you asked!

Shipping and fanfics are horrible! Especially if self-insert.

14 You must be a terrible speller.

Oh come on! We writers do go back over and fix spelling! In't not that big of deal!

15 Oh, this character did (insert action here), they must be (insert weird lore thing here)!

I have something I intentionally left for theories to be made. It will get crazy if I get a larger audience.

It's so hard to tell so many people no, and it gets annoying fast.

16 I'm your biggest fan!
17 We're both Heaven and Hell

There are many humans who are nice and try to make the world a better place. But we also pollute, screw up, and think we don't matter. That's why we're technically the manifestation of Heaven and Hell combined.

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