Best Simpsons QuotesThe best quotes from the wittiest and most quotable show on television.
The Top Ten
This quote is in the Oxford dictionary. That's how popular it is
Marge: Homer, did you remember to lock the front door?
Marge: Homer, when you remembered to lock the front door, did you remember to lock the back door?
Homer: DOH! DOH!
Lisa: we forgot grampa back at the gas station! what bout gramps?
The most common quote used is always the best one. A nice classic one that is repeated several times!25 Comments
Replace dog with son! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Ah, Lionel Hutz. Funny and humorous great character.
Best quote by Lionel hutz ever, when I heard it I had to think about it for a second and then I just started laughing my head off hahahahah... Wait did he say son and repeatedly... Hahahahah
RIP Phil Hartman. Funniest man ever7 Comments
My dad and I watch The Simpsons together all the time and this is one of our favorite quotes! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Ralph wiggum for life!
This is only 14?! That's unpossible!12 Comments
Me to homer, me to! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Typical slacker moment. Haw haw!
One of my favorite quotes in simpsons history. And bravo to the simpson's, not lote of shows last for 500th episodes1 Comment
I guess this has to be my favorite Simpson's quote of all time.
I have made a list of my favourite homer simpsons qoutes so look at that and I forgot to put this one in so add it in and when homer said that I never seen the episode one of the few I have missed - aido17
I guess you CAN vote twice. Awesome... I love this quite too! What if I just vote in everything? - Lina1028
This is my all-time favorite quote. I've even used it at times.3 Comments
Funny as... Moe is my favourite character, because he says loads of weird and disturbing things! E. G I'm gonna getcha brain juice and use it to paint my walls! L O L
Really depressing but hilarious. - Toms_system
MOE is also my favorite. Such misery wrapped in hideous disgust.
Also love the Crustyman. Such Schamltz weaved into corny and greedy narcissism
This has gotta be one of my favorite Simpsons quotes ever! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
It's an awesome quote that is even better when you hear the inflections in his voice and see that he leaves the room, then comes back in to add, "By the way, I was being sarcastic" with total sincerity. Marge's come-back is a classic part of the quote: "Well, duh. "
When I heard this quote on T.V., I couldn't stop laughing. It is got to be my favourite quote of the Simpsons. Homer simpson you are one of the legends
Why is this 7th?!? It should be at least be second or third.6 Comments
"i don't know" I die at this, every time! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
- Nelson Muntz
I don't know... Haha, priceless
Haw haw2 Comments
Honestly He's just a funny character.
Factual quote. Aging is wise and ugly.
This is sort of scary, but there is wisdom to Abe Simpsons' saying. It's about growing older, and the inevitability of loosing touch with hipness.
Funny and True : )1 Comment
Ha ha! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Legs and EARS?
That's something I would say, but would add, I'm also wearing a sombrero!2 Comments
Willie is so funny and his accent doe. that's not what Scottish people sound like and I know cause I'm British
I’d take French if groundskeeper Willie was the teacher. - MJfan119
One of my favorite things to say to my brother is 'I'm not saying I hate you, I just wouldn't be sad if you died.' For a few years, I was wondering were I got this from. Then I started watching The Simpson's again! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
I felt that way when my grandpa died
Haha funny because its true! we've all felt that way at some time about someone right?
Marge never felt sad when Homer's Mum died anyway. Marge can be a very rude and unsympathetic bitch!
ha ha - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
I died at this part
Holy crap! Why isint this higher this is hilarious haha
And did you? - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Oh gosh wiggum
One of my Favourites, lol
The good thing about Homer is that he says what everyone's thinking! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
No comment necessary. Homer speaks volumes.
A classic, enough said.
He speaks the truth
omg this had me laughing for ages - whufc
So love this quote it gives me so many laughs and I never watched the episode
This was when he was on he computer thing when lisa came in.
Classic Ralph, too funny2 Comments
Hail to the Lizard Queen! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
The real Lisa Simpson is the Lizard Queen!
Long live the Lizard Queen!
I suppose Lisa Simpson will be remembered as the Lizard Queen.2 Comments
It's: You choo choo choose me?
HA HA HA! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Funniest thing Homer's ever said! 🤣 - def_leppard_fan
I live in England
Ok I don't know any of you /
I've the flu
And funniest thing,...
Now - return to dying.
It was perfect. Kid came in. Mummydearest how can I help? Oh can I help you find your wallet?
Hm... *Insert Jeopardy thinking music here* - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
It's funny because the stupidest person said it.
Funny because Flanders sucks.
Our home phone makes a sound like this when we put it on it's charger so, ever since we were little, my siblings and I always say 'Ha ha' when we put our phone back! That then evolved into a competition of who could get the best sounding impression! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
That quote should be number two after Homer's ICONIC quote.
My friends dad can do a lovely impression4 Comments
I don't know why they removed this - Unnamed Google User Remade
Eat my shorts! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
How on earth is this so low? I mean this is the second best after "'Oh! "... Come on people eat my shorts is just awesome!4 Comments
Was I one of them? - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
0.7% people voted for this - gemcloben
The least you could do is 2 get the quote right
So how is he still here then...*Insert jeopardy thinking music* - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Chalmers after this is so funny. "SKINNER! I hate to interrupt your advice from THE JANITOR... "
Homer logic: Superman=Jesus - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Eh, Marvel’s better anyway! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
One can only hope Homeboy. - hhutc9
I usually say that but with Maynard James Keenan - CrypticDeath666
Umm to the comments no you can just quit and get another job.
Oh wait that was the Baby Boomers when they didn't have them stupid CVs, it was easier to get a job
That's my way! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
One of thousands of cultural references that speak the truth and let you laugh at the same time. - mgenet
A surreal testimony to the third rate nation the U. S. has become.
Kills me every time - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
This is even funnier if you're a Scot and reading this (yeah, I'm Scottish) - TwilightKitsune
I feel sorry for the scottish, but it is kind of true
Nobody wrote it but I assume it's willie2 Comments
Hang on a minute. Isn't this one of Matt Groening's all time favorite quotes? Shouldn't this be higher? Oh well...
I ROFL'd at this for hours! - nic1997ps3
Which episode was this?
It is the funniest Simpson line ever
HAHAAHA I love this one
Now that would be me to! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
LOL XD Homer is a legende - Snowflake1992
Homer is by far the best!
Whop, whop whop.. Nanananagaagaa.. Wabububub...
Ahh Mr. Burns... Eases the pain.
Also an accident but added to the script.
At the same time he burnt his high school diploma and started a fire.
That was a truly hilarious scene. Good job remembering that quote!
For those who don't know, he was getting his name changed.
It is awesome! Should be number 1."
This has to be one of the most funniest things I have ever heard in a long time. Honestly I was rolling around with tears in my eyes. Thank you "SKINNER"
Which ball sack, Mr. Skinner? - SwagFlicks
Thank you for making this list.
Thank you for adding this hilarious quote to the list.
Thank you for writing this episode.
Thank you, and please come again!
Related ListsBest Homer Simpson Quotes Best Simpsons Movie Quotes Best Bart Simpson Quotes Best Marge Simpson Quotes Best Lisa Simpson Quotes
13 years, 331 days old
Top Remixes (10)
2. Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! - Ralph Wiggum
3. I choo choo choose you - Ralph Wiggum
2. English, who needs that? I'm never going to England - Homer Simpson
3. Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
2. Me fail English? That's unpossible! - Ralph Wiggum
3. I Call the Big One Bitey - Homer Simpson
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