Best Simpsons QuotesThe best quotes from the wittiest and most quotable show on television.
The Top Ten
The most common quote used is always the best one. A nice classic one that is repeated several times!
This quote is in the Oxford dictionary. That's how popular it is
Marge: Homer, did you remember to lock the front door?
Marge: Homer, when you remembered to lock the front door, did you remember to lock the back door?
Homer: DOH! DOH!
Lisa: we forgot grampa back at the gas station! what bout gramps?
when I die these are going to be my last words - westofohio
Best quote by Lionel hutz ever, when I heard it I had to think about it for a second and then I just started laughing my head off hahahahah... Wait did he say son and repeatedly... Hahahahah
RIP Phil Hartman. Funniest man ever
Thats Hilarious Mess up but Vary Hilarious I Found MY Status For Today lol(
Most of these are so good, but I have to go with this one! Dang it why can't we vote more than once!? - Lina1028
Me to homer, me to! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Typical slacker moment. Haw haw!
One of my favorite quotes in simpsons history. And bravo to the simpson's, not lote of shows last for 500th episodes
Thees is nombar 3? that's unpossible! Should be number 2 behind doh. - JoPro
My dad and I watch The Simpsons together all the time and this is one of our favorite quotes! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
This is only 14?! That's unpossible!
Ralph is my favorite character! This just proves that Ralph is a brilliant character. He's so dumb and is so greatly strange.
I guess this has to be my favorite Simpson's quote of all time.
I have made a list of my favourite homer simpsons qoutes so look at that and I forgot to put this one in so add it in and when homer said that I never seen the episode one of the few I have missed - aido17
I guess you CAN vote twice. Awesome... I love this quite too! What if I just vote in everything? - Lina1028
This is my all-time favorite quote. I've even used it at times.
Funny as... Moe is my favourite character, because he says loads of weird and disturbing things! E. G I'm gonna getcha brain juice and use it to paint my walls! L O L
Really depressing but hilarious. - Toms_system
MOE is also my favorite. Such misery wrapped in hideous disgust.
Also love the Crustyman. Such Schamltz weaved into corny and greedy narcissism
This has gotta be one of my favorite Simpsons quotes ever! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
It's an awesome quote that is even better when you hear the inflections in his voice and see that he leaves the room, then comes back in to add, "By the way, I was being sarcastic" with total sincerity. Marge's come-back is a classic part of the quote: "Well, duh. "
When I heard this quote on T.V., I couldn't stop laughing. It is got to be my favourite quote of the Simpsons. Homer simpson you are one of the legends
Why is this 7th?!? It should be at least be second or third.
"i don't know" I die at this, every time! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
I don't know... Haha, priceless
- Nelson Muntz
Honestly He's just a funny character.
Factual quote. Aging is wise and ugly.
This is sort of scary, but there is wisdom to Abe Simpsons' saying. It's about growing older, and the inevitability of loosing touch with hipness.
Funny and True : )
Ha ha! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
That's something I would say, but would add, I'm also wearing a sombrero!
Legs and EARS?
Marge is such a bitch in that scene!
Willie is so funny and his accent doe. that's not what Scottish people sound like and I know cause I'm British
I’d take French if groundskeeper Willie was the teacher. - MJfan119
One of my favorite things to say to my brother is 'I'm not saying I hate you, I just wouldn't be sad if you died.' For a few years, I was wondering were I got this from. Then I started watching The Simpson's again! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
I felt that way when my grandpa died
Sounds like me
Haha funny because its true! we've all felt that way at some time about someone right?
Holy crap! Why isint this higher this is hilarious haha
I died at this part
ha ha - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Drunks in a nut-shell. - JoPro
The good thing about Homer is that he says what everyone's thinking! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
No comment necessary. Homer speaks volumes.
A classic, enough said.
omg this had me laughing for ages - whufc
So love this quote it gives me so many laughs and I never watched the episode
This was when he was on he computer thing when lisa came in.
Classic Ralph, too funny
And did you? - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Oh gosh wiggum
One of my Favourites, lol
Hail to the Lizard Queen! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
The real Lisa Simpson is the Lizard Queen!
Long live the Lizard Queen!
I suppose Lisa Simpson will be remembered as the Lizard Queen.
It's: You choo choo choose me?
HA HA HA! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Funniest thing Homer's ever said! 🤣 - def_leppard_fan
I live in England
Ok I don't know any of you /
I've the flu
And funniest thing,...
Now - return to dying.
It was perfect. Kid came in. Mummydearest how can I help? Oh can I help you find your wallet?
It's funny because the stupidest person said it.
Hm... *Insert Jeopardy thinking music here* - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Our home phone makes a sound like this when we put it on it's charger so, ever since we were little, my siblings and I always say 'Ha ha' when we put our phone back! That then evolved into a competition of who could get the best sounding impression! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
That quote should be number two after Homer's ICONIC quote.
My friends dad can do a lovely impression
How is this not #1?
I don't know why they removed this - Unnamed Google User Remade
Eat my shorts! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
How on earth is this so low? I mean this is the second best after "'Oh! "... Come on people eat my shorts is just awesome!
Was I one of them? - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
0.7% people voted for this - gemcloben
The least you could do is 2 get the quote right
So how is he still here then...*Insert jeopardy thinking music* - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Chalmers after this is so funny. "SKINNER! I hate to interrupt your advice from THE JANITOR... "
Homer logic: Superman=Jesus - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
Eh, Marvel’s better anyway! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
One can only hope Homeboy. - hhutc9
I usually say that but with Maynard James Keenan - CrypticDeath666
Umm to the comments no you can just quit and get another job.
Oh wait that was the Baby Boomers when they didn't have them stupid CVs, it was easier to get a job
That's my way! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
One of thousands of cultural references that speak the truth and let you laugh at the same time. - mgenet
A surreal testimony to the third rate nation the U. S. has become.
Kills me every time - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
This is even funnier if you're a Scot and reading this (yeah, I'm Scottish) - TwilightKitsune
I feel sorry for the scottish, but it is kind of true
Nobody wrote it but I assume it's willie
Unicorn + retard
Hang on a minute. Isn't this one of Matt Groening's all time favorite quotes? Shouldn't this be higher? Oh well...
Now that would be me to! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior
LOL XD Homer is a legende - Snowflake1992
Homer is by far the best!
Whop, whop whop.. Nanananagaagaa.. Wabububub...
I ROFL'd at this for hours! - nic1997ps3
Which episode was this?
It is the funniest Simpson line ever
HAHAAHA I love this one
Ahh Mr. Burns... Eases the pain.
At the same time he burnt his high school diploma and started a fire.
Also an accident but added to the script.
This was on a birthday card once - JoPro
This is like me I’m smart and dumb
It is awesome! Should be number 1."
Barts first word
That was a truly hilarious scene. Good job remembering that quote!
For those who don't know, he was getting his name changed.
This has to be one of the most funniest things I have ever heard in a long time. Honestly I was rolling around with tears in my eyes. Thank you "SKINNER"
Which ball sack, Mr. Skinner? - SwagFlicks
Can't believe this isn't top 5 let alone top 50. Ralph is awesome. - truckturner
Thank you for making this list.
Thank you for adding this hilarious quote to the list.
Thank you for writing this episode.
Thank you, and please come again!