Best Earthworm Jim Cartoon Quotes

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 "I'm just the sugar, but I'm gonna barf too, and the JELLY, JELLY BARF! JELLY BARF! BEHOLD the GOOEY SLOP of our SORROW! It's...slobber...demilro! The TWILIGHT of the CONDIMENTS...WEEP for them, WEEP FOR THEIR SORROW!!!" (Conqueror Worm)

"Yes, Snott, my delicate psyche has come horribly unglued! " YOU DON'T SAY? (Also, it's "SLOBBER DAMMER√úNG") - xandermartin98

2 "Fido! Out here in space, some people see strange things, but...not me, pal. (YAAAAAA) Like, right now, for instance; I definitely did NOT see a big worm. (YAAAAA) NOTHING STRANGE IN SPACE, NO SIRREE, LALALALALALAA..." (Sword Of Righteousness)
3 "Did a giant worm and a talking dog just walk by? Hey, lab scientists, whatever you're doing in there...CUT IT OUT!" (Conqueror Worm)

Rewriting this to match the original episode:
"Did a giant worm, a talking dog and a smiling booger just go by? (Yeah.) Hello, DNA lab? Whatever you guys are doing in there... CUT IT OUT! " - AlexImmortal420

Also it's not "lab scientists", it's "DNA lab" - AlexImmortal420

You forgot the "smiling booger" part

He was one of the THINGS that walked by too - xandermartin98

4 "This is going to smart like the Dickens." (Opposites Attack)
5 "I don't want a heart, I just want some of that frozen yogurt!" (Wizard Of Ooze)
6 "For the first time in my life, I feel PRETTY!" (Trout)

I always knew Peter was gay - xandermartin98

7 "EAT DIRT, EVERYONE IN THE GENERAL VICINITY!" (Trout)

I thought he was saying "Everyone in the facility" - AlexImmortal420

8 "Umm, Jim, I don't think it's meant to be eaten, I think it's meant to anchor heavy ships in a storm." (Trout)

Referring to NUTLOG, of course - xandermartin98

9 "Once again, villainy is as a bug beneath your mighty heel, Jim." (Book Of Doom)

Said while they are both shrunken down to bug size and VERY clearly about to get hilariously ironically stepped on by Psycrow - xandermartin98

10 "I will crush you like...SOME EASILY CRUSHED THING!" (Book Of Doom)

The Contenders

11 "Such strange WORDS, my lord! What does OF mean?" (Book Of Doom)

Many of the low-functioning students at my current school in a nutshell - xandermartin98

12 "The old superheroes home! Sorry, the elderly! No, the senior! Alright, fine, the Chronologically Gifted Superheroes Home! Can we please move on before they come up with a new euthanism?! Can't say anything fun these days, can you?" (Hyper Psycrow)

Uh... sorry, I meant "euphenism", not "euthanism" - AlexImmortal420

13 "You're not gonna get custard on it again, are you?" (Book Of Doom)

Seriously, what the hell did he mean by that? That's kind of creepy when you put it into the context. - xandermartin98

14 "I invented inventing!" (Hyper Psycrow)

"I INVENTED INVENTION! "
- The Phuce Dynamo, 1996 - AlexImmortal420

15 "We are NOT doing the 'here we go again' ending on MY show! (Well, what do YOU want, Mr. Too-good-to-stand-the-cheesy-cartoon-endings?) Cue the cow!" (Hyper Psycrow)
16 "A minor setback." (Sidekicked)

Evil the Cat says that lots of times

17 "Oh my god, the dog just pooped on the table; I think we TV executives just got our new idea for a series!" (The Origin Of Peter Puppy)

(cough) The Emoji Movie (cough)

(also, Fanboy & Chum Chum, Sanjay & Craig and Problem Solverz) - xandermartin98

18 "EAT DIRT, GIANT INSUFFERABLE SPACE ANOMALY!" (Darwin's Nightmare)
19 "Of course I'm the king of Spain! Yes I can prove it! Soy el rey de la esponja! (Uh, Jim, you just told him you're the king of sponge.)" (Bring Me The Head Of Earthworm Jim)
20 "Don't play dumb with me, you...dumb...guy." (The Egg Beater)
21 "Do I look okay to you? (Not even remotely!) Yeah? Well...YEAH!!! (Hyper Psycrow)
22 "Do you want fries with that? Or do you want to...EAT SCORCHING HELL!!!"
23 "The uncanny four-leafed clover. Can your mind withstand the horror of its many leaves?" (Trout)
24 "The first speed bump in America. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?" (Trout)
25 "Politicians, always making promises they can't keep." (Queen What's Her Name)
26 "FOUR fingers, Jim! What are you, some kind of freak?" (Sidekicked)
27 "It's not all champagne...sometimes, there's REAL PAIN." (Bring Me The Head Of Earthworm Jim)
28 "There's a warthog down the street who lives with a talking eggplant." (The Origin Of Peter Puppy)
29 "Let's play campfire! You could be the WEENIE!" (Bring Me The Head Of Earthworm Jim)
30 "The HEART, LUNGS and LIVER of a sheep boiled in its own stomach?!"
31 "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, invalid parameters? 9,000 gigs of RAM and it can't even answer a simple question!" (Assault And Battery)

"VEGETA! What does the scouter say about Jim's stupidity level? " - xandermartin98

32 "Color me challenged." (Wizard Of Ooze)

This is funny because the episode literally changes from black/white to full color when he says it. - xandermartin98

33 "I just hope those elves have GREEN CARDS..." (Upholstered Peril)

Personally, I feel the same way about the Santa mariachis at Sea World - xandermartin98

34 "(People are now using cheesy substitutes for huge action sequences.) What a huge action sequence!" (The Egg Beater)
35 "It's SPF nine BILLION!" (The Egg Beater)
36 "I shall now freeze you AS SOLID AS...a solid, freezy frozen thing. What's that, monkey? Oh, yes, thank you; a block of ice." (The Egg Beater)
37 "Size isn't EVERYTHING, you know. (gets blasted) EXCEPT IN THIS CASE!" (The Egg Beater)

Presumably Psycrow's revenge for the whole Reducing Cream fiasco - xandermartin98

38 "GAHHH! WORM IN HEAD. WORRM IN HEAAAD!!!" (The Book Of Doom)
39 "Prepare to be flame-broiled ON THE BARBECUE of my wrath!" (Sidekicked)
40 "NNo, not the eyelid trick! It's my one WEAKNESS! GAWK! (smashes Jim) Wow, you guys'll believe anything." (Sidekicked)
41 "(Didn't your mama ever tell ya to watch where you're runnin'?) Mama didn't have no mouth." (Sidekicked)
42 "He's very 'special' indeed." (Darwin's Nightmare)
43 "And Jim was about to become nothing more than a high-cholesterol snack!" (Day Of The Fish)
44 "I'm proud to live in a country where anyone, regardless of species, can BUY an education." (Day Of The Fish)
45 "Psycrow, scourge of the space rays, has been summoned before the despicable queeen PULSATING BLOATED FESTERING SWEATY PUS-FILLED MALFORMED Slug-for-a-BUTT!" (Sidekicked)
46 "You know like when you brush your teeth and then drink ORANGE juice? (Oh, I HATE that!) I LOVE IT! See what I mean?" (Conqueror Worm)
47 "Four score and seven years ago...(gets his beard shaved off)...well, there goes my credibility." (Sword Of Righteousness)
48 "YOU HAVE...SOMEWHAT POOR taste in clothes! Your SINGING voice is THIN and REEDY! You...you SMELL FUNNY when you're WET!" (Sword Of Righteousness)
49 "YOUR STUPID MIND! STUPID!" (Sword Of Righteousness)
50 "Professor Monkey-For-A-Head's patented Reducing Cream! In lotion or ointment form!" (Book of Doom)
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Top Remixes

1. "I'm just the sugar, but I'm gonna barf too, and the JELLY, JELLY BARF! JELLY BARF! BEHOLD the GOOEY SLOP of our SORROW! It's...slobber...demilro! The TWILIGHT of the CONDIMENTS...WEEP for them, WEEP FOR THEIR SORROW!!!" (Conqueror Worm)
2. "Fido! Out here in space, some people see strange things, but...not me, pal. (YAAAAAA) Like, right now, for instance; I definitely did NOT see a big worm. (YAAAAA) NOTHING STRANGE IN SPACE, NO SIRREE, LALALALALALAA..." (Sword Of Righteousness)
3. "Did a giant worm and a talking dog just walk by? Hey, lab scientists, whatever you're doing in there...CUT IT OUT!" (Conqueror Worm)
xandermartin98

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