Top Ten Questions People Answer With Lies

1 billion years old.

Take note: This is just a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

I forgot, honestly. It's been a long, long while since I last checked my age. The last time I checked was during the Civil War.

I'm 1 year old in real life. Stop telling me it's a lie.

No, I'm too lazy to read that. I already know about it.

Take note: This is just a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

Website: Have you agreed to the terms and conditions?

Me: (Is too lazy to read it) *checks box*

Website: You can now do *insert things here*

Only answer it to proceed. It's like asking, "Do you want to enter the site?" after you've already taken the trouble to get there.

For most of my life, I was overweight - even obese - but over the past couple of years, I've successfully gotten in shape.

My exact weight is somewhere between 140 and 145 pounds, which is ideal for my age and height.

217 pounds (height is why I'm heavier. I'm 6'1).

I don't know, but between 50 and 55 kilos.

Animism.

Take note: This is just a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

I can't answer this truthfully since I have no idea what mine are.

I am completely honest about my political views.

Sanders should be president. Never should Trump.

What about Hillary? That thought gives me a bump.

Maybe Kasich, maybe Cruz too. Which candidate is right for you?

Ben dropped - oh wait, more than 10 dropped.

People like Clinton, people like Trump. All of those people are like food I have never bitten!

I don't lie about this. Ever. I'm a proud Republican!

Could you at least narrow that down?

Yes, I can drink a planet of beer.

Take note: This is just a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

Nah... I actually hate smokers and drinkers. Really sorry if I hurt someone, but I just say what's on my mind.

I smoke all day, every day, and I drink like no one's business.

I remember in 7th grade, in Civics, I never listened to the teacher. I did my homework at the last minute while the teacher was checking it.

I chatted with my friend the whole time, and I still got a 5 on the Civics FSA!

No. Homework is no.

Take note: This is just a joke. Please don't take it seriously.

Yes, yes I did. I finished it on the bus, like always, and I got 100% on it.

I love the way you lie, so I married the way you lie.

I got a lovely wife and great kids (not!).

Oh boy... I'm too young for this, haha.

I have about 9 children. Can't remember their names, though.

I have 2 kids, Brian Rose Quinn and Halsey Rose Quinn. My last name is not Quinn.

I don't know what that means, so probably not!

I would get mad and yell NO!, but really, I do.

I think this has just become a greeting, like "Hello" or "What's up"... They are not actually asking how you are.

Ask me how I'm doing, I'll say "okay," but isn't that what we all say?

Ok. My shoulder hurts, but my mood is in control.

Who? It's a matter of what. (I don't know what that means.)

I like the song Heaven in Hiding.

I wouldn't lie about this. I'd either tell the truth or say, "Why do you want to know?"

Well, I really like Halsey and Twenty One Pilots. They have good music.

People instinctively say yes because the questioner is being polite and not sincere!

High-functioning and sane as ever... yes.

Tricky question, how about middle mixed.

The common cold. My friends and family have all gotten it, but I haven't.

I'm lost somewhere in outer space in a hotel room where demons play.

Yes. Can you save me then from my agony?

If you can help me polarize, help me polarize, help me out!

I most likely can, but I refuse to do so.

No, because I can't draw people to save my life!

I draw badly. So yes, just not well!

Um, well, I make no money because I'm 99 years old and unemployed.

But I get that senior discount at the Dollar Tree!