Top Ten Things People Say There's Nothing Worse Than
Apparently there is nothing, absolutely nothing worse than "Squashed bread" (according to a nice lady at the checkout with me today) inside, I was laughing. Obviously there are a gazillion things worse than squashed bread but I raised an eyebrow and polietly agreed with her instead. I didn't want her to walk away muttering: "There's nothing worse than people who disagree with you."...Is there anything on this list you agree / disagree with? Add your own if you like. Anything from sensible to completely inane. Maybe you think there's nothing worse than this list! Add it. Add anything you want to :)
Not being able to remember where you left your car when you're still in it has to be the worst. Sitting in it for half an hour, banging your head on the steering wheel, trying to think if you've just misplaced it or if it really is lost - or maybe even stolen!
Do you mean where I got out of it, or where it ended up? Not necessarily the same vicinity.
Aw, come on. Little baby goats are cute 'n' a hoot. Human spawn, on t'other hand, are best left as terrible retribution upon them that had'em.
Now, squashed bread is a vexation. But what about squash? I mean, squash is still good after it's cooked and, well, squashed. But why do we call unsquashed squash "squash? " Shouldn't we call it "firm" or "turgid? " These things bother anybody else?
If it tasted like it smelled while cooking, even hogs wouldn't eat it. But after couple hours in the boiler room, you be wishin' you was still just smellin' it simmerin' on the stove.
Then, when I finally find decent pairs in my size, they always turn out to be too wide!
If you listen closely on a Sunday evening, you can hear Monday taunting you with the Jaws theme song.
I have it, and it sucks, man. I'm being honest and completely serious.
The Newcomers
I cannot believe it was never added until now. This should be number 1 because it is worse than anything in the whole wide world, with no redeeming quality.
Now ol' Doc Bucksaw, he could drop flies at twenty paces, just by breathin'. But he had the charity to gargle with genuwine 198-proof Arkansas Lightnin' 'fore he got in yer face. After couple minutes, he coulda pulled all yer teeth, cut out yer tonsils and stole yer wallet, you'the never knowed the diff'fence.
It sucks when you can't sleep. It happened to me last night until about 5 AM. It sucked.
"Here I sit, never got started. Came to s***, but only farted."- The Big Book of Outhouse Eloquence
Much better than the reverse, without the toilet.
I know! This is not what I intended to type at all. I typed something completely different from what you are reading now. The autocorrect changed my whole sentence! All I intended to say was: "I agree."
It's annoying when autocorrect changes the words. It sucks.
Because the last time I used one, the people in the toilet cubicles on either side of me were farting profusely. It was very loud, like someone playing a trumpet in both my ears. Then, when I left my cubicle, everyone in the queue looked at me as if to say 'Flippin heck was all that you?' To make matters worse, the two people who were making the noise stopped instantly when I left my cubicle, making it look like it was me. Anyway, bye (I'm the person who can't sleep at what is now 2 AM).