Top 10 Dirty Jokes in The Simpsons We Didn't Understand When We Were Young

The Top Ten

  1. Zookeeper! Those monkeys are killing each other! - New Kid on the Block

    This is from when Homer was younger and learned about sex.

  2. Twelve-inch pianist - Black Widower

    I first heard this when I was young and asked my parents what it meant and they said, "You'll understand when you're older." And now I know. And I feel deceived.

    Should I explain why? Pianist, pen, oh you get the picture.

  3. She's faking it. - Another Simpsons Clip Show

    Mrs. Krabappel shows the 4th graders two bunnies having sex, and Mr. K says, She's faking it. (Notice that Bart was covering his eyes?)

  4. Should I whack it slow? Or fast? - Whacking Day

    Need I explain why?

  5. Look, Homer, all of us pull a few boners now and then. - Bart the Lover

    Ned Flanders didn't mean pull a boner in that context.

    Coming from Ned Flanders, this is quite creepy.

  6. I think women and sea-men don't mix. - Treehouse of Horror III

    Smithers, we don't care about what you think...

  7. Tell him I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! - The War of the Simpsons

    Homer has sex very quickly, then.

  8. Laaaaay-tex connn-dome. Boy, I'd like to live in one of those! - Lady Bouvier's Lover

  9. Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket. - This Little Wiggy

  10. Actually, sir, picture-taking is not allowed at this particular resort. - Homer the Smithers

    11. The Newcomers
  11. ?

    Ovulate, damn you. Ovulate! You are out of sperm. - This Little Wiggy

  12. ?

    Milhouse, we're living in the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. - Bart's Friend Falls in Love

    13. The Contenders

  13. Maybe it's the beer talking, but you've got a butt that won't quit. They got these big, chewy pretzels here... (slurring speech) ...five dollars?! Get outta here. - Bart the Lover

  14. Now, chew through my ball sack! - Skinner's Sense of Snow

  15. I have a special present for you, but I'll give it to you later tonight. Special present? I don't wanna wait. I want it now! I want the children to see. Ooh. Oh, right. - Secrets of a Successful Marriage

  16. Can't you read my writing? I didn't say "Kick Homer's walls". - Treehouse of Horror XVII

  17. Do not touch Willie. Good advice. - Treehouse of Horror VI

  18. La Maison Derrière - Bart After Dark

    House of Butts. We don't want to ruin childhoods, but burlesque houses are for adults. It was really illegal for Bart to work in one.

  19. Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that type of thing with fish. - A Fish Called Selma

  20. Homer, you've got it set on "whore". - The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace

  21. No, Celeste. I mean, the things she says are sexist. Lisa said a dirty word! - Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy

    Whatever you think about the episode, like Lisa just didn't want a dumb blonde doll she did have friends in this episode.

  22. Ah, just get one of those inflatable women. - Marge on the Lam

  23. Are they talking about the bordello? - Bart After Dark

    Imagine if Marge discovered the bordello.

  24. Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down. - Grade School Confidential

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