Top Ten Ways to Annoy the TopTenner Petsounds

The Top Ten
1 Tell him that he's so cute when he gets feisty.

Which, of course, he is. In fact, cute is an understatement.

For those who don't know the backstory, about two dozen different TopTenners (acting on the orders of PW) messaged me that line.

But he is cute! So cute...

2 Repeatedly use the same music related pick-up line on him.

Even better if you hire a friend and form a pattern.

You and keycha1n are the most annoying people ever.

3 Make a sloppy mixed brostep remix of his favourite classics

Still bound to be better than a former Beatle working with Kanye West.

4 Perform a cover of every song on his namesake album by hitting animals that let out different chords like a xylophone

See if you can do better than Monty Python's mouse organ.

5 Accuse him of responsibility for every failed hippy peace movement in history

You know why the Prague Spring wouldn't work?! Well, do you?!

6 Say that classic rock and music from the '60s and 70s is for old people and wannabes

I'm 12, and I think that classic rock, well, rocks!

7 Tell him Canada is still pretty much a British colony

I'll say this on a loop until he foams at the mouth.

Isn't it?... The U.K. thing and all...?

8 Beat him in a race to a comment milestone

It took me one all-nighter and a significant amount of regretful, sleep-deprived comments, but it was worth it.

I'm already well ahead of him on this one.

9 Tell him Simon carried Garfunkel way too long and should have dumped him sooner

Did you know that the cartoon characters Rocky & Bullwinkle were originally based on Simon and Garfunkel? Take a look...

10 Tell him Canada was rejected by the US as the 51st state but was advised to practice and apply again next year

I don't understand! I put in such a good word on your behalf...

The Contenders
11 Tell him David Bowie sucks
12 Challenge him to an emoticon war.

I won this one, fair and square. But any emoticon for that is a blocked emoji.

13 Remix a perfectly put-together music list he made and deliberately add meaningless pop and hip-hop

When SelfDestruct did this, it made him and I equally ballistic.

14 Tell him Brian Wilson should have stayed in his room

Really? Three tries to get the spelling correct? Whoever added this was determined.

15 Say that The Cars should have been locked in the garage
16 Publish a really dull book that rips off every classic he's ever read at once

Hmm... I shall need a list. Or a good remix like the ones only he has provided.

17 Call him a bad athlete.

Doing this unleashes a side to him you wouldn't think existed. Believe me, I speak from experience.

Never knew he was an athlete, that just adds to his "rep" as somebody with superb musical taste.

18 Tell him the Blue Jays are flukes
19 Tell him the Chevy Impala sounds better than Tame Impala

Well, it drives like a Chevy car, shaking its big rear trunk for the hell of it, it goes like a machine unfairly costing fifty quid...'because you know it won't start lickety-split...

...it feels like we only drive backwards, baby, every single gear won't go ahead...I locked my keys in the car, oh no, not again...

20 Tell him it must be hard to play baseball and football in all that snow and ice
21 Say that Pete was the "Best" member of The Beatles

Haha this is incredible! Who added? You genius!

22 Ask if they always have Three Dog Nights in Canada
23 Tell him The Sound of Silence should have stayed quiet

I hear nothing - nothing...

24 Say that George was the homeliest Beatle
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