Top Ten Weird Things to Say On Your Mat Instead of "Welcome"

The Top Ten

1 "Knock knock jokes not allowed"

But what if you really need to know who's there before you open?

*still knocks on door anyway*

I clearly have a doorbell.

2 "Could you take your shoes off? I have a foot fetish"

Matt: just as perverted as all of us.

3 "Tie your laces!"

Okay. Thanks for reminding me

4 "Mats don't have to pay bills, na na nee na na!"

5 "Welcome to hell"

*runs out of there as fast as I can*

Wow your company is welcomed

This would be hilarious

6 "Oh God, you're wearing studs"

7 "You're at the wrong house, stalker"

8 "You should really wash those shoes"

9 "T'p o' t' mornin' t' yeh!"

10 "Goodbye"

The Contenders

11 "NO Trespassing"

12 "What's the craic?"

13 "Oh sh** I'm still naked"

14 "Would you like a potahto?"

15 "S*** in a bucket."

16 "I wouldn't ride ya."

17 "I'm on the jacks."

18 "Where'd you find that shoe, a dumpster?"

19 "We're sucking diesel now."

20 "My name is Matt"

21 "It's Fallin' From Me!"

22 "Call round for a céilí"

23 "Giz a bang."

24 "Unwelcome"

That would be ironic

25 "Go away!"

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