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1I will beat you with a small child.
2Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.
3One time I died but I got better.
4Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.
6Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
7Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.
9Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.
10This is like retards humping a door nob
11Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.
12Everyone freeze! The T-Rex's can't see us if we don't move!
14Salty sticks of brilliance.
16Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!
17Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
19"OMG it's One Direction!"
20Leedle leedle leedle leedle
22Sometimes, I dream about cheese...
23This is a great jumping song
25We Should Destroy Disney Land!
27I think I have forgotten how to breathe
28My name is Doof and you'll do what I'll say whoop whoop
29I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat
30You're a lizard, Harry.
31"Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"
32My cat's name is mittens!
33Your bannana looks nice in that green table
34Wait I forgot my bathing suit!
35I came in like a wrecking ball!
36I will give a shout out on a guy in YouTube called bob!
37I've been living in your closet for the past 2 days
38Have you seen the Fighting Pudding? He peeled Banana Head and made Onion cry.
40Dolphin Fell On Tree Therefore I Am Related to Cake.
41When my mom's not home I like to go to her garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
42Nice to meet you. I'm old, ugly, unicorn fart
43Dumbledore!??! Is that you?!
44I feel weird hugging my mom with a boner
47Roses are poop, violets are.... Never mind!
48When I jumped over a rainbow, I snagged my tablecloth on a glittery rug.
49Run! The mole has a gun!
50A balloon just flew out my ass
51Hit me baby one more time! *Hit yourself!" Oh you bitch!
52*someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!
53Once I went swimming in glue, then I ate my ears and nose
55Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
58I like big butts and I can not lie
59*Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....
61No! I am too sexy for you!
63Would you like my sleeping bag better if a sparkly, magic pega-corn was eating it?
64Remember those black dots that used to come out of corners and attack you?
65I like to listen to Justin Bieber!
66Excuse me. That was me...
68"I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"
69There's a snake in my boot.
70I like to stuff cats into a beanbag chair... Don't worry they are dead
71"Look at That Thing, it Looks Like a Freakin' Bigfoooooooot
72I'm a princess from Mars, and I eat rocks and poop trees
74If I can't roast a monkey with a green wagon, then when will Christians poop on forks?
76Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*
77"Sir have you seen my hooker? She has big boobs, a large ass and says she is sick of looking at my storkerish face? Can you help me out with this?"
78Paint me like one of your French girls and get the hell out of my office.
80Britgirl and Positronwildhawk are in love.
83If you traveling 5 mph upstream how many pancakes does it take to ghetto the moon on Thursday morning
84Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Not really I want your kid
85Why do pink dolphins that suffer from delfiniphobia lack the containment of small watermelons while they engulfed in boiling acid concealed deep within the Southern Hemisphere of earth?
87Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
88Does your fridge say Ékeefoò when you open it?
89You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
90A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.
91Where Are My Cookies You Hibrid Mutant Llama?! I Know You Ate Them!! You Are Impure! Diieeeee!!!!!
92Sleeping on the floor with a purple blankies is my favourite hobby. What is Fred Flintstone's?
93Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
94Oh my god! You're one of them! *back away slowly*
95I love the smell of a baby's burning flesh in the morning. *Sigh*
96If you poop it will most likely fly back up your butt and take over your mind!
97Have a sandwich it'll be alright
98I like to fry up babies and pretend they're sizzling bacon.
100Yesterday I died in the magic unicorn hospital on Pluto's collar
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