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1I will beat you with a small child.
2Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.
3One time I died but I got better.
4Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.
6Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
7Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.
8Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.
10This is like retards humping a door nob
11Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.
12Everyone freeze! The T-Rex's can't see us if we don't move!
14Salty sticks of brilliance.
16Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!
17Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
19"OMG it's One Direction!"
20Leedle leedle leedle leedle
23Sometimes, I dream about cheese...
24This is a great jumping song
25I think I have forgotten how to breathe
26We Should Destroy Disney Land!
27My name is Doof and you'll do what I'll say whoop whoop
30You're a lizard, Harry.
31I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat
32"Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"
34Wait I forgot my bathing suit!
35My cat's name is mittens!
36Your bannana looks nice in that green table
37Corn Dog Corn Dog Corn Diggedy Dog
38I've been living in your closet for the past 2 days
39I came in like a wrecking ball!
40Have you seen the Fighting Pudding? He peeled Banana Head and made Onion cry.
41When my mom's not home I like to go to her garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
42I will give a shout out on a guy in YouTube called bob!
44I feel weird hugging my mom with a boner
45Dolphin Fell On Tree Therefore I Am Related to Cake.
46A balloon just flew out my ass
47Nice to meet you. I'm old, ugly, unicorn fart
48Dumbledore!??! Is that you?!
49Roses are poop, violets are.... Never mind!
52Run! The mole has a gun!
53When I jumped over a rainbow, I snagged my tablecloth on a glittery rug.
55Hit me baby one more time! *Hit yourself!" Oh you bitch!
56Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
58*someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!
59Once I went swimming in glue, then I ate my ears and nose
60*Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....
63I'm Sorry, I Can't Hear You Very Well
64I like big butts and I can not lie
66No! I am too sexy for you!
67You Don't Have Any Snickers in Your Shopping Cart
68Excuse me. That was me...
70Would you like my sleeping bag better if a sparkly, magic pega-corn was eating it?
71"I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"
72Remember those black dots that used to come out of corners and attack you?
73I like to listen to Justin Bieber!
74There's a snake in my boot.
75I like to stuff cats into a beanbag chair... Don't worry they are dead
77One Does Not Simply Walk Into Mordor
78"Look at That Thing, it Looks Like a Freakin' Bigfoooooooot
79I'm a princess from Mars, and I eat rocks and poop trees
80If I can't roast a monkey with a green wagon, then when will Christians poop on forks?
82Paint me like one of your French girls and get the hell out of my office.
83Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*
84"Sir have you seen my hooker? She has big boobs, a large ass and says she is sick of looking at my storkerish face? Can you help me out with this?"
87If you traveling 5 mph upstream how many pancakes does it take to ghetto the moon on Thursday morning
88Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
89You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
90Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Not really I want your kid
91Why do pink dolphins that suffer from delfiniphobia lack the containment of small watermelons while they engulfed in boiling acid concealed deep within the Southern Hemisphere of earth?
94Britgirl and Positronwildhawk are in love.
95I Got These Cheeseburgers Man
97Does your fridge say Ékeefoò when you open it?
98A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.
99Sleeping on the floor with a purple blankies is my favourite hobby. What is Fred Flintstone's?
100Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
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