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2I will beat you with a small child.
3Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.
4One time I died but I got better.
5Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.
6Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.
7Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
9Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.
10Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.
12This is like retards humping a door nob
13Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
14Everyone freeze! The T-Rex's can't see us if we don't move!
16Salty sticks of brilliance.
18This is a great jumping song
19Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!
20"Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"
22Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
23Have you seen the Fighting Pudding? He peeled Banana Head and made Onion cry.
25Run! The mole has a gun!
26I like big butts and I can not lie
27My name is Doof and you'll do what I'll say whoop whoop
29No! I am too sexy for you!
30Hit me baby one more time! *Hit yourself!" Oh you bitch!
31I've been living in your closet for the past 2 days
32"OMG it's One Direction!"
33A balloon just flew out my ass
34When my mom's not home I like to go to her garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
35*Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....
37I feel weird hugging my mom with a boner
38There's a snake in my boot.
39I like to stuff cats into a beanbag chair... Don't worry they are dead
40If I can't roast a monkey with a green wagon, then when will Christians poop on forks?
41Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*
42"Sir have you seen my hooker? She has big boobs, a large ass and says she is sick of looking at my storkerish face? Can you help me out with this?"
43Excuse me. That was me...
45"I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"
46Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Not really I want your kid
47Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
48Why do pink dolphins that suffer from delfiniphobia lack the containment of small watermelons while they engulfed in boiling acid concealed deep within the Southern Hemisphere of earth?
49Paint me like one of your French girls and get the hell out of my office.
50Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
51If you traveling 5 mph upstream how many pancakes does it take to ghetto the moon on Thursday morning
52You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
53If you poop it will most likely fly back up your butt and take over your mind!
54Dolphin Fell On Tree Therefore I Am Related to Cake.
55Have a sandwich it'll be alright
56Sleeping on the floor with a purple blankies is my favourite hobby. What is Fred Flintstone's?
57Oh my god! You're one of them! *back away slowly*
59Does your fridge say Ékeefoò when you open it?
60A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.
61I love the smell of a baby's burning flesh in the morning. *Sigh*
63Shut up. I'm busy feeling unpeeled grapes to my sofa.
64I swear I didn't remove the padding in your brassiere!
65Leedle leedle leedle leedle
66I like to fry up babies and pretend they're sizzling bacon.
67Messy birds in garlic soda berries
68On April 27, people of my religion asking "Are you the Lemon?" When someone says that they're the Lemon, they're chained up and forced to say "Monkeys tell no lies" 482 times to Journey's Greatest Hits.
69I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.
71I have a zombie in my head!
73One time when I was sitting outside my neighbor waved to me so I waved back and my brother walked outside naked while eating a moist tomatoe... it was really moist.
74There's a purple mushroom in my backyard singing tacos.
75I like to eat raw potatoes from in between my toes. How bout you?
76Look, a penis enlargement ad
78I have a pet cactus named Charlie Daveyson
79I am Herbert Hoover president of pink bananas
81Every knees bent, ass out. Arms out. Then you're ready to play volleyball
82There's 6 apples and 29 pencils, how many pancakes did she eat?
83Shush... he's watching us!
85There is a monkey in me
86Is there hot sauce in space?
87Stay calmer when you want to harm a llama call a llama farmer
89Woah! i was just kitten! *Meow* don't pull out your gun now.
90I like shorts, they're easy and comfy to wear
91I'm a barbie girl, in a cat...
93I had an eyelash named Simon... I killed him.
96Oh no, the kitchen is on fire again!!!!!!!
97The Kumbuchu mushroom people sitting around all day!
98Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
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