Most Random Things to Say In a Crowd

Don't agree with the list? Vote for an existing item you think should be ranked higher or if you are a logged in, add a new item for others to vote on or create your own version of this list.

The Top Ten

1
I will beat you with a small child.
Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

fireinside96

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! Lmfao... I am literally seeing myself. Laugh out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world. Ps. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4 Re: T-rex's are really dull and boring, being creative is free and apparently so is seeking attention laugh out loud.
Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."
[Newest]What size is the size of the small child?

2Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.
Funny and corny @ the same time
I love this item! It's so hilarious!

HezarioSeth

It's so unfunny that its funny
[Newest]I Love this one it is so funny! 😆😆

3One time I died but I got better.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! It is funny.
I tried that about 21 people laughed it's on youtube it's called?
I'm dead right now what prescription did you use. I mean I tried everything, water uh worms and more stuff yeah

MR. POTATO OUT

4Eat my pants!
I remember a guy saying this!
Eat my shorts is off of the breakfast club..
I'm pretty sure someone from either spongebob or Icarly or victorious has said it, I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!
[Newest]I remember when my cat said this to me

5Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.
Sometimes when I'm alone, I dress all up in yellow, peel myself with a peeler and call myself a banana... Forever alone:(
I told all my friends this and they called me crazy... In a good way
Everybody thinks me and my friends are high but were just crazy loud and SCOOBY-DOO but that's a different story.
[Newest]Laugh out loud it is so funny

6Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
I said this to my mom and she said I have issues :) Thanks for this!

*I am a Potato!
Laugh out loud I like this one. but I am not a potato I am... A MARSHMALLOW! Cruz I squishy and soft and as pail as a ghost. So me is a marshmallow. laugh out loud
I said this and I got the what face and someone say that's hot

7Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.
And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!
This will be my gmail status!
This person watches way too much Spongebob.
[newest]
That's why you force them to wear them...

8I eat babies.
Holy CRAP! Hope I can rewind time!

moose4life19

That's just weird what
I ate a baby once...

9Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.
Make sure to say the J don't make it silent
Say it in a spanish accent too
Ah haha laugh out loud used this on my friend once
[Newest]Haha make sure you say it in a Spanish accent AND in Spanish class

10This is like retards humping a door nob
I didn't know other people did that too like can I have a orgy for this
Laugh out loud what the faq
That's from dodge ball you dingus

The Contenders

11Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.
I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him but he was too busy laughing at steve the snake.
, I had a hair named Jean, but he died.
I must be special REALLY SPECIAAL funny for me
[newest]
And the purple cow became King of Spain.

ethanmeinster


12Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!
If someone said that he would be right. We would all die because we laughed so hard. YAY! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! I'M SO HAPPY!

Abc123vote

After a long interval you can become the people.. So why let it go... Enjoy the life... But it don't meant that waste it... Enjoy with your aim...
Laughed so hard, I told everyone and thought that I wanted to die so they all chased me

13I like farting
I txt my friends and say "i am farting:

14Everyone freeze! The T-Rex's can't see us if we don't move!
lol I can just see the faces of "wtf? "

usmc650736

Eh that's weak and makes you look like afreak I've tried it at a football game try yeliing : were getting attacked by blind koalas
I said that once in an elevator... you wouldn't believe how many people looked around.. hee hee! X3

15Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
This is funny go away you haters, have a sense of humor... That's all
I would of laughed at this a day ago until I found out I have aids -. -
Do you realize what you just said? What if someone, out of some random chance, DID have that virus? THE GREATEST SINGER OF ALL TIME DIED OF THIS, AND AS I SAID IN ANOTHER POST, he's my idol, and my hero. Freddie Mercury. Rest in peace.
[Newest]Not funny AIDs kills people

16Pole Dancing Ducks
Okay, first, search Beastie Boys To All The Girls. Then sing this song in the crowd. But this. Is also funny and random. I SAW THIS ONCE.

17Salty sticks of brilliance.
Fuzzyshadow of Leopardclan

This is something me and my friends would say while eating pretzels with salt or something

18I like trains
Would certainly involve a lot of people getting run over...

ThatStrangeKid42

I love saying this! I always shout it out in my English lesson!

alessindapalace

Have to watch the video.

funnyuser


19This is a great jumping song

20"Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"
This is the only one out of this list that actually me laugh out loud.
My best friend laughs every time I tell her this.

funnyuser


21I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat

22Purple dino raping me

23My penis is on fire.
Wait, are you taking it that way, or the other way?
THIS IS A LINE FROM MY SHOW 'She just set his penis on fire' ME AND MY FRIEND CRACKED UP WHEN WE SAW THIS!
Ouch... sounds painful... hope that never happens to me, especially when I'm next to a girl.

24You're a lizard, Harry.

25The llama says obey

26Have you seen the Fighting Pudding? He peeled Banana Head and made Onion cry.
Sounds like a pretty buff Fighting Pudding.

funnyuser


27Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
Laugh out loud! I'm gonna do this!
I'm gonna do this
This is hilarious I will be sure to spread it laugh out loud! Guess what? I like 

28*someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!

29I've been living in your closet for the past 2 days
I would totally do this to a random person in public. Lean over their shoulder, whisper in their ear, "Hey there, I've been livin' in yo closet for the past 2 days... and I say, I like you."
I think this has a creepy feeling in it so that's what makes it funny.

30I feel weird hugging my mom with a boner
You should finish the sentence:... Because I'm not used to women having boners.
Whoa! Your mum has a what?!?!

Britgirl

Incest all the way

31Run! The mole has a gun!
This is the stupisest thing iv ever heard but that's y I'm voting it

32Spotto

33I like big butts and I can not lie

34My name is Doof and you'll do what I'll say whoop whoop
Phineas and ferbs cliptastic countdown oh yeh please put near top!
In my school someone actually said this in the lunchtime concert.
It should be on the top man!

35"OMG it's One Direction!"
I love one direction and I do that all the time and my siblings look up and say where?!?!
I do that at random times all the time
Everyone is going the other direction now!

36Remember those black dots that used to come out of corners and attack you?
Yeah, I died and I got better.

funnyuser


37Hit me baby one more time! *Hit yourself!" Oh you bitch!
This is gonna be a thing in the future.
Not funny at all... just kidding

38No! I am too sexy for you!

39A balloon just flew out my ass
Haha I literally laugh out loud and my husband ask why I told him what it says and he thought I was dumb laugh out loud. Very funny for me!
Laugh out loud you have made my day..
I never knew that could happen!

40When my mom's not home I like to go to her garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
... And Maybe This Time She'll Pick Me.
Awesome I'm using that
I think I shall do this.

41*Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....
Ah, I can just see the faces now.
Them: (o)>(o)?
_

Me: (O)<(o)
-
Hahahaha. I have a friend who would do this.

42I has cheeseburger.
I know what this is from...

funnyuser


43Excuse me. That was me...

44This is Sparta!

45There's a snake in my boot.
Love this gonna used it ❤️

46I like to stuff cats into a beanbag chair... Don't worry they are dead

47If I can't roast a monkey with a green wagon, then when will Christians poop on forks?

48Where Are My Cookies You Hibrid Mutant Llama?! I Know You Ate Them!! You Are Impure! Diieeeee!!!!!

49Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*
This is very weird. I LOVE THIS!

funnyuser


50"Sir have you seen my hooker? She has big boobs, a large ass and says she is sick of looking at my storkerish face? Can you help me out with this?"

51Mmmmmm oven chips...

52"I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"

53Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Not really I want your kid
! This is funny

54Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
You got it wrong! It's... SOFT KITTY, WARM KITTY, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
It's from the Big Bang theory

55Why do pink dolphins that suffer from delfiniphobia lack the containment of small watermelons while they engulfed in boiling acid concealed deep within the Southern Hemisphere of earth?
I don't know why but this made me laugh so much haha
I have to memorize this and ask it to one of my friends out of the blue! It's going to b so fun-ay!
I love this! Hilarious!

funnyuser


56Paint me like one of your French girls and get the hell out of my office.

57Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
That is a song title off a Pink Floyd album called "animals"

58If you traveling 5 mph upstream how many pancakes does it take to ghetto the moon on Thursday morning
No, this is patrick
It takes 1 billion pancakes, a boat, and a spaceship.

funnyuser


59Does your fridge say Ékeefoò when you open it?
For some reason I laughed so much. HAHA!

funnyuser


60You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
I'm memorizing this an shall use this against my enemy
Oh My god I love this and I laughed so hard
This should be higher! HAHA!

funnyuser


61If you poop it will most likely fly back up your butt and take over your mind!
OH MY GOSH!, IMAGINE POOP CONTROLLING YOUR EVERY MOVE... WHAT WOULD you DO? LIE IN A TOILET BOWL?
Haha laugh out loud yes that is funny. :P what would you do if poop took over your mind?
Dear GOD! TOO FUNNY!

62Dolphin Fell On Tree Therefore I Am Related to Cake.
This is very random.

funnyuser

I like this one a lot it is totally pineapple pancakes with Lincoln with Abraham

63Have a sandwich it'll be alright

64Sleeping on the floor with a purple blankies is my favourite hobby. What is Fred Flintstone's?

65Oh my god! You're one of them! *back away slowly*
Tried this but after you say it pretend to trip and crawl away slowly
Totally going to do tiz
I have done this and it is the funniest ever

66That one was moist!
I don't know why but this reminded me of farting. -Your mom

67A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.

68I love the smell of a baby's burning flesh in the morning. *Sigh*
Laugh out loud I dunno why but this made me laugh so hard
I don't know why but every time I laugh so hard

69Leedle leedle leedle leedle
It's on sponge bob

70I like boobies.
how is that random? hehehehe

SmoothCriminal


71Shut up. I'm busy feeling unpeeled grapes to my sofa.

72I swear I didn't remove the padding in your brassiere!

73I like to fry up babies and pretend they're sizzling bacon.
This shouldn't be on this list.

funnyuser


74Text a cow

75Messy birds in garlic soda berries

76On April 27, people of my religion asking "Are you the Lemon?" When someone says that they're the Lemon, they're chained up and forced to say "Monkeys tell no lies" 482 times to Journey's Greatest Hits.
I meant to say "People of my religion ASK 'Are you the Lemon? ' ". I submitted it off my iPod, so I couldn't tell if there were any mistakes or not.
Only on April 27th for you? Lucky. This happens every Wednesday and Friday for me.

77I'm too drunk to taste this chicken.
Gotta include that it's quoted from"the late great colonel Sanders"

78I'm Batman
And I'm the joker!
And I'm a potato. :]
And I'm a hooker

79I have a zombie in my head!

80One time when I was sitting outside my neighbor waved to me so I waved back and my brother walked outside naked while eating a moist tomatoe... it was really moist.

81There's a purple mushroom in my backyard singing tacos.

82I like to eat raw potatoes from in between my toes. How bout you?

83Look, a penis enlargement ad
Oh my god I died

84I have a pet cactus named Charlie Daveyson

85I am Herbert Hoover president of pink bananas
I know a Harbert Hoover

86Pop Goes the Weasel

87Every knees bent, ass out. Arms out. Then you're ready to play volleyball

88There's 6 apples and 29 pencils, how many pancakes did she eat?
None , the pencils were mean to her and gave her rabies .

funnyuser


89Shush... he's watching us!

90Communism
Its funny because of Russia

91There is a monkey in me

92Is there hot sauce in space?

93Stay calmer when you want to harm a llama call a llama farmer

94Just kitten! *Meow*

95Woah! i was just kitten! *Meow* don't pull out your gun now.

96I like shorts, they're easy and comfy to wear
Laugh out loud this is from Pokemon! :D

97I'm a barbie girl, in a cat...

98I like boogers. They're sexy

99No this is Patrick
Hey patrick its me bob :3

100I had an eyelash named Simon... I killed him.
And then I lost him.

funnyuser


Comments About This List

Featured Lists
Popular Lists
New Lists

Top Remixes of This List

Kk02

funnyuser

LeeWong

C4r0t

spongebobgymnast2

see more...

Posts About This List

List Info

This list was created 4 years, 283 days ago and has been voted on over 1,000 times. This top ten list contains 308 items, has been remixed 7 times and has been blogged about 2 times.

Updated Friday, October 31, 2014


List Error Reporting

See an item on this list that's misspelled, duplicated, or doesn't belong? Let us know. Click here to report the error.