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1I will beat you with a small child.
2Sometimes when I'm alone I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor and pretend I'm a potato.
3One time I died but I got better.
4Don't freak out but my neighbor lives next to me.
5Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.
7Isn't it weird that, pineapples never wear bikinis.
9Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.
10This is like retards humping a door nob
11Once I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.
12Everyone freeze! The T-Rex's can't see us if we don't move!
15Salty sticks of brilliance.
16Yay! We're all gonna die! I'm so happy!
17Excuse me everyone, I have AIDS virus.
19"OMG it's One Direction!"
20Leedle leedle leedle leedle
21"Have you seen my dog? He is 6 foot tall and hates heights, he is brown and thinks he's got swag"
23You know what day it is? Monday!
24This is a great jumping song
26Sometimes, I dream about cheese...
27Have you seen the Fighting Pudding? He peeled Banana Head and made Onion cry.
29I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher!
30I like taking hot bath tubs with my cat
31We Should Destroy Disney Land!
32My name is Doof and you'll do what I'll say whoop whoop
33I think I have forgotten how to breathe
34My cat's name is mittens!
35I once made a pop-up book about charades!
36When my mom's not home I like to go to her garden and cover myself with dirt and pretend I'm a carrot.
37Don't freak out but I am part of a highly secretive agency and I have been sent to observe your every move because we have found DNA in your blood that does not belong to any living substance on earth.
38I came in like a wrecking ball!
39You're a lizard, Harry.
40If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast?
41I will give a shout out on a guy in YouTube called bob!
43Dolphin Fell On Tree Therefore I Am Related to Cake.
44I feel weird hugging my mom with a boner
45I've been living in your closet for the past 2 days
46Wait I forgot my bathing suit!
47Dumbledore!??! Is that you?!
51A balloon just flew out my ass
53Roses are poop, violets are.... Never mind!
54Run! The mole has a gun!
56*Tap on the person's shoulder* Imma be lurkin yer bushes. Ssss.....
57*someone looks at you* STOP LOOKING!! *you cover yourself* STOP LOOKING!!!
58Hit me baby one more time! *Hit yourself!" Oh you bitch!
62I like big butts and I can not lie
64No! I am too sexy for you!
65We are the planets, of the Solar System, different sizes for every one!
67There's a snake in my boot.
68Remember those black dots that used to come out of corners and attack you?
69I like to listen to Justin Bieber!
70Excuse me. That was me...
71"I'm breaking up with you, it's just too hard"
72If I can't roast a monkey with a green wagon, then when will Christians poop on forks?
73"Look at That Thing, it Looks Like a Freakin' Bigfoooooooot
74I like to stuff cats into a beanbag chair... Don't worry they are dead
76Can you MMMMMEEEOOOWWW like that very strange looking lampost? Lampost, show 'em! *MEOW*
77"Sir have you seen my hooker? She has big boobs, a large ass and says she is sick of looking at my storkerish face? Can you help me out with this?"
79Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order? Not really I want your kid
80Why do pink dolphins that suffer from delfiniphobia lack the containment of small watermelons while they engulfed in boiling acid concealed deep within the Southern Hemisphere of earth?
82If you traveling 5 mph upstream how many pancakes does it take to ghetto the moon on Thursday morning
83Warm kitty, soft kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
84Does your fridge say Ékeefoò when you open it?
85You are like the roses in my vase. You should know that my roses are fake, smell bad, and have thorns which tries to harm you in every way possible. And guess what I hate my roses. Did I tell you that you are like the roses in my vase?
86A zombie ate my brainsssss but they were nice and replaced it with a peanut! Now me and the zombie are friends.
87Paint me like one of your French girls and get the hell out of my office.
89Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a pict.
91If you poop it will most likely fly back up your butt and take over your mind!
92Have a sandwich it'll be alright
93Where Are My Cookies You Hibrid Mutant Llama?! I Know You Ate Them!! You Are Impure! Diieeeee!!!!!
95Sleeping on the floor with a purple blankies is my favourite hobby. What is Fred Flintstone's?
96Oh my god! You're one of them! *back away slowly*
97I love the smell of a baby's burning flesh in the morning. *Sigh*
98I have finally learned the scientific method!
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