The Top Ten Family Guy QuotesThe best one liners from the most irreverant show on network television. Only because it is animated do the writers get away with all the stuff they do.
The Top Ten
This is pretty darn hilarious - Celestius
Fabulous! So funny that it makes me laugh every single time! Watch it over and over again and I still burst out laughing!
Tears of laughter everywhere - peter is such an idiot and comedian at the same time
This is funnyV 13 Comments
haha i just watched that episode, came here, and saw this.. it was so funny.
Haha that's truly funny
One of my other favourite quotes from Peter Griffin lol
ClassicV 5 Comments
This should be #1 My whole family think's this is funny. - westofohio
Oh, my mom loves this. I joke around with her. Until it actually starts to get annoying.
Stewie is a speck of Eminem and a whole load of crazy put together
HAHAAHA this is the best, should be #1 and batman glass should be #2 and the pedophile one #3V 18 Comments
giggity giggity, all right - Razor79
If Quagmire didn't exist, the show, and the world as we know it, would implode into a black hole. In my humble opinion
how could this not make number 1 or at least 2 man! - manglercmj
Quagmire is just hillarious family guy would be nothing without him. Well, it would still have Brian who is a largely unfunny dick but you know.V 14 Comments
A 'hard' one not to vote for! Giggigity, giggity, giggity!!! - MCW1966
Hilarious amazing best ever watch it forever now NOW ASDRASHDSEDRSGNDFA anyway this is like the best easily so vote for it everyone
On the floor funny, what sells the joke to me is that he says this time which implies this is a common thing
"This time" killed meV 9 Comments
This one cracks me up every time!
This one will never get old. Genius. All of the catchphrases are so boring now, but this one is so god damn hilarious! Love it!
I use this one all the time when I want to shut someone up! - theOpinionatedOne
LOLOL I'm gonna use that line whenever I'm asked a question like thatV 1 Comment
That episode was on yesterday
Man this one is the best from Stewie
Love it laugh out loud
That's so goodV 3 Comments
This is where it all falls out.. I mean come on.. Let the man of the house talk.. Laugh out loud
This is something that Fry would say in Futurama and I still love it.
It's just so funny, I mean come on guys and gals
Yup. Definitely a classic. "Leafers! "
Family guy should certainly stick to the their classic jokes. Not the ridiculousness they've now resorted to.
lol - 12ccV 1 Comment
Actually made me poke my head out of the kitchen and ask, "What did he just say? "
Most epic quote, I physically shot Pepsi out of my nose when I saw it.
Stewie is a pervert inside a lil boy body
Best quote of the whole series by far.V 2 Comments
Stewie is the best
Thi is so funny I making a little gift myself
Peter would probley think it was a toaster
Lois: Meg will you change Stewie?
Meg: ok mom, but if the phone rings and it's a boy. Please don't tell him I'm wrist deep in poopy. - MJfan119
It's funny 'cause it's true!
I love this! I always say it! And shapoopi hahahaha BUTT SCRATCHER! Family guy is totally awesome :-) oh god I need to go watch family guy now!
Love it! My fiance and I first bonded over our love of this show and still to this day randomly start shouting this line. Always brings a smile to both of our faces. Two Thumbs Up!
Get your buttscratcher here! :D
That is halariousV 1 Comment
This is by far my favorite moment of family guy
This and when Stewie says that he's always wanted to have a sexy party. He's great
Hi, this is Anne Curtis
..could you give us next time a quotes that is all about love? Haha.thank U..
Should definitely be higher up! I love this one!
That should be number one. The herpes from a toilet seat isn't even on here but should be second.
Love this one, especially Brian's reaction to it afterwardV 1 Comment
This is the best quote ever!
I can do a good herbert impression
Damn feel good to be leader
Herbert is just... wow
Reminds me of my husband and his friends. Peter griffin is my husbands alter ego for sure. I can relate to this show far too often.
Funny from season 8? I think
About diere jackson the female boxer, definitely one of the funniestV 1 Comment
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12 years, 71 days old
Top Remixes (11)
2. Her fists are so dangerous she's not allowed to be a lesbian. - Brian Griffin
3. Eh, you're overreacting Lois and you can't spell overreacting without ovary... 'cause you're a girl. - Peter
2. Because you touch yourself at night - Museum tour guide to a child Peter Griffin after asking why the dinosaurs died
3. No Quagmire, we're not esupposed to! - Peter
2. Mum mum mum mum mummy mummy mummy mummy Lois........ Hi- Stewie
3. Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah... Lois, this is not my Batman glass. - Peter Griffin
View All 11