Top 10 Most Random Things to Say in a Crowd

The Top Ten
1 Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

I was flicking through and noticed this website and realized, wow, this is definitely one of the top things to say to break the silence.

This is hilarious! Actually, every time I see my friend, she says she's a potato. But then again, she calls herself my Uncle Tim Bob Joe Shenikwa, so...

I love this. I said it on Club Penguin, then I dressed up like a potato, and everyone thought I was crazy!

2 I will beat you with a small child.

This is the best random remark since 'go sit in a corner with a dried guava roll'! I am literally seeing myself laughing out loud. We need more of this stuff in the world.

P.S. The people who added the 'random things to say in a crowd' points after #4, regarding T-rexes being really dull and boring, are creative. Being creative is free, and apparently, so is seeking attention. Laugh out loud.

Wait, would you be beating the guy with a small child, or are you beating the small child with a random guy? Something to think about.

Extra funny if you say it after you do the dramatic duck face! I can just imagine people going, "What the..."

3 Once, I saw a purple flying cow and I named it Phillip.

Really random. It reminds me of a kid in my class who said, "You know, one day I went to a farm and I saw super-speed pigs that are golden, but guess the best part! I saw a strawberry cow flying above me with its balls jiggling! I also tickled the cow!" After my classmate said that, I burst out laughing.

I wish the dancing unicorn could have seen him, but he was too busy laughing at Steve the snake.

I can't stop laughing! I said this in Roblox, and people asked me if my parents ever take me to the ER!

4 Don't freak out, but my neighbor lives next to me.

I said this in my third-grade science class at school. Nobody laughed. Everybody just stared at me.

Forever alone.

I love this so much! My friend gave me the weirdest look.

As soon as I saw this, I had to text my friends. It's so funny!

5 Sometimes when I'm alone, I like to dress up in all brown, lay on the floor, and pretend I'm a potato.

Everybody thinks my friends and I are high, but we're just crazy loud and Scooby-Doo, but that's a different story.

I'm obsessed with potatoes, so when I saw this, I laughed until I ran out of breath. My friends wouldn't be surprised if I said this to them.

I used this on my mom and brother while they were watching a movie. They flipped out!

6 A giant baby head squished Obama

I have no words to describe my feelings.

7 Shhh, the jalapenos are sleeping.

I love this. I'm doing a skit called Mismatched Blind Dates, and I'm definitely using this.

I said this to my brother last year. Let's just say he is still laughing.

Shhh, the pears are sleeping in pairs.

8 One time, I died but I got better.

I'm dead right now. What prescription did you use? I mean, I tried everything: water, worms, and more stuff, yeah.

Mr. Potato out.

Laugh out loud, I told my friends this... They sent me paragraphs of haha... And also blew up my phone.

I tried that. About 21 people laughed. It's on YouTube. It's called...

9 Have you seen my dog? He is 6 feet tall, hates heights, is brown, and thinks he's got swag.

I said this to my mom, but instead, I asked, Have you seen Rocket? (my dog). He is about 1 foot tall and hates bananas. He is black, and I think he's got swag.

This is the only one out of this list that actually made me laugh out loud.

My best friend laughs every time I tell her this.

10 Can I sniff your butt?

No, you're a person, not a dog. Sniffing butts is something dogs do, not humans.

The Contenders
11 STOP LOOKING!! you cover yourself STOP LOOKING!!!

A boy did that to me when I was in fifth grade.

12 Eat my pants!

I'm pretty sure someone from either SpongeBob, iCarly, or Victorious has said it. I'd laugh so much if a person shouted it out!

Eat my shorts is from The Breakfast Club.

From The Simpsons, when Bart says, "Eat my shorts!"

13 Allahu Akbar

That means "God is the greatest." This is a post about weird lines to say to people. I guess "God is the greatest" is, in fact, a "weird" line for nonreligious people. Good one.

This is a bit disrespectful, but something this random would still be very funny.

Allahu Akbar means Allah is greater. Personally, I am Christian, but I still find this phrase amusing.

14 A balloon just flew out of my rear

One of my close friends said this to me, and now I know where she got it from. I was looking to see if there was something I could say back that is just as weird. Now I can.

Haha, I literally laughed out loud, and my husband asked why. I told him what it said, and he thought I was dumb. Laugh out loud. Very funny for me!

Laugh out loud, you have made my day.

15 Compass is a microphone that can really eat things, ether.
16 I like juggling teddy bears while breakdancing to the sound of a dishwasher.
17 You know what day it is? Monday!

It is Monday, but I'm going to say it in 24 minutes, where it'll be Tuesday! Yes, I'm up at midnight.

No. Who would say that? Mondays are horrible.

18 If guns don't kill people, but humans kill people, then toasters don't toast, toast toasts toast.

If people kill people, not guns, then food heats up food, not microwaves.

People don't eat the toast. The toast eats itself.

19 Excuse me, everyone, I have the AIDS virus
20 Hi, Billy Mays here.

Except you say this as loud as possible.

21 I like pork chops!
22 Isn't it weird that pineapples never wear bikinis?

And isn't it weird that oranges never wear tank tops? That my mailbox doesn't like tomatoes? My refrigerator is wearing boxer shorts?!

Yeah, and this will be my Facebook status. No, wait... Maybe number 5... Uh, both are hilarious, though.

I saw you yesterday in a store.

I noticed that too! Never go to Bikini Bottom.

23 Physics!

So, physics! Physics, eh? Physics! Physics!

24 You're a lizard, Harry.

After Harry Potter slipped into a coma, scientists examined him and his genetic structure. After hours of research, they discovered that Harry was indeed a wizard.

I actually say this sometimes.

25 Full-on zeppelin hands.
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