Top Ten Unlikely Things To Hear On Public Transport

The Top Ten

1 We're cleaning the carriages

Does it ever happen? Does it?!?!

2 The bus doesn't go there. You don't have a car? You've lost it, then!

3 Sorry, madam, the pregnant seats don't support extra weight.

Of what use are they, then?!?!

4 Mend The Gap

Haha! "Mind the gap" so sick of hearing that on EVERY station. MEND the gap might be more apt. But, yes, very unlikely will it ever be said. That might be too much to ask!

"Mind the gap" is a signature thing to hear on the London Underground.
It's really disturbing to hear it anywhere else.

5 This train terminates here, because beyond here, it's cah-rap.

6 Move down in the carriage! Oh, you're expecting.

7 You can get details online. Just run when you hear the horn.

I'm sorry, I just love this one! L.O.L.

8 Your Oyster Card, not your Greenpeace Membership!

9 Yeah, the main carriage is reserved as a coffin. Big bloke, that.

Thank heavens you're unlikely to hear this; it's so mean...

Haha, laugh out loud! Nice joke, this item.

Is this a joke?

10 What's that beeping noise?

The Contenders

11 Taxi driver: "Don't worry about the fare, darlin'; I'm a sucker for a pretty face."

12 After you...

Unlikely you'll hear this in London - but not out of rudeness. If everyone said, "After you.. " to everyone, everyone would be standing in the same place saying, "After you..." to everyone!

In all public transport, they should put the dictionary print of "etiquette" on every wall. If that makes a difference.

13 Get lost, you!

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