Top 10 Darkest Episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants

This Season 3, pre-movie episode, "Nasty Patty," takes the number one spot on my list of the darkest SpongeBob episodes. Why? Well, does believing you murdered someone and frantically trying to hide the body while playing it cool with the police NOT sound dark? Yeah, I thought so.

The whole situation is played for laughs (albeit dark laughs), so... yeah. Kind of encouraging kids to poison people and bury their bodies, no?

"One Coarse Meal" just barely misses being the darkest SpongeBob episode ever. One of the most hated episodes of all time, it involves an attempted theft, a phobia, a prank that goes WAY too far, and an attempted suicide to top it all off.

Oh, and did I mention the bad guy wins?

The REAL bad guy, I mean.

Ah, "Earworm," an underrated dark episode all about the consequences of addiction. Of course, actual drugs would be a bit too dark, so they used a catchy song as a substitute. The episode includes all the stages: the hook-up (first hearing the song on the radio), the addiction (buying the song and listening to it over and over), the consequences (not paying attention to the job at hand and flinging food at customers), the threat of punishment (Mr. Krabs threatening to fire SpongeBob if he plays the song again), the withdrawal (I'll let you figure this one out), and the attempts to stop the craving.

Oh, and there's also the spread, but that's a different story - and a different tune.

Poor Squidward. He's played the Butt-Monkey before, but this is ridiculous! SpongeBob, who is actually trying to help Squidward out for once, attempts to help him find his happiest memory - only to discover he doesn't have one. When all attempts fail, Squidward decides to go hide in his house and never... WAIT, IS THAT HIM ABOUT TO COMMIT SUICIDE?!

Oh. Guess not.

Imagine this scenario: you just had the time of your life at your favorite amusement park, and you're on the bus home when you realize... you're not headed home. Now imagine you accidentally ticked off the driver, and he kicks you off the bus, leaving you stranded in a strange, unfamiliar place, where the people are WAY different from what you remember, and everything feels foreign.

Now you're in SpongeBob's shoes. Which are currently standing on sentient sand.

Welcome to Spongehenge, a large assortment of sponge-shaped statues that literally whistle in the wind. Their whistling attracts jellyfish, just like their creator's pores do. Speaking of their creator, he was a young man chased away from civilization and everything he loved by jellyfish, who were too attracted to his whistling to leave him alone.

He spends years, maybe decades, building an army of statues so the jellyfish would be distracted, allowing him to return to the life he loved... only to find it was too late. Still, he was pretty lucky.

Most abducted people never get the chance to go back.

This episode is actually darker in its core than it appears on the surface. It's about Squidward bringing a giant patty-cooking machine to work one day, and Krabs is amazed at its productivity. Best of all, he doesn't have to pay it anything! But when SpongeBob realizes his job is at risk, he quickly sets out to stop this oversized hunk of scrap from taking his place. He succeeds... and seemingly loses his life in the process.

Of course, it's all played for laughs, and because this is a light-hearted children's show, SpongeBob is still alive by the end. Still, it's a subtle yet obvious nod to the Industrial Age - past and present.

Mr. Krabs forgot to pay the electrical bill one sweltering summer, so SpongeBob, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs all head down to sunny, sandy Goo Lagoon, where they open for business on the beach. SpongeBob hangs out with his friends Patrick and Sandy. Of course, for some reason, Krabs thinks going out onto the waves to sell patties is a good business strategy, so that's what he does.

Unfortunately, a failed attempt by Patrick to get onto the Krusty Krab's official surfboard causes the biggest splashdown ever. This nearly sends Mr. Krabs (and his cash register) to spend eternity in Davy Jones's Locker. Sandy washes up on a deserted island, and Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob end up in an unfamiliar, uncharted lagoon.

Now, they're going to have to make it on their own, in places they've never been before, with limited resources (and intellect). A lighter way of saying, "hopelessly lost."

While this episode is certainly more light-hearted and funny than most on this list, the darkness underneath is still apparent. Three guys are lured into being abducted, a [literal] monster wants to make them all his slaves, and the consequences if they don't listen... It sounds a lot like trafficking to me. Also, let's not forget the alternate two endings - definitely super dark.

Though you have to admit, any part where Patrick is speaking is inherently funny. Especially..."LEE-LEE-LEE-LEE-LEE!"