Top Ten Stupid Reasons Why You Might Find Suspicious-Looking Russians In Salisbury, UK

PositronWildhawk
I trust that there's nothing to worry about. Little old Vlad wouldn't cause an international incident.

The Top Ten

1 They were just tourists wanting to see the cathedral

Because one has only got to take advantage of a buy one get one free tourist break offer to stay in East London, travel to Salisbury from somewhere far from any train station, ask a guy who looked a tad like Sergei Skirpal for directions, and appear conspicuous only by carrying women's perfume.
If your vacation story is really that stupid, you might just be a Russian spy who didn't exactly give your shifty schemes much thought. - PositronWildhawk

2 One of them left their hat behind the last time there was a nerve agent incident

But I assure you, there is no connection whatsoever. At the time, I was just down by the wine shop, getting some Chateau Sarin. - PositronWildhawk

3 Their plane crashed and exploded nearby, and everything was obliterated without a trace. Now they just had to find something to do.
4 They got on a bus to St. Petersburg, but the driver was high on vodka and got really, really lost.

Once you're there, you're there. There's plenty of things to do in Salisbury, like spreading lethal nerve agents. But obviously nobody ever did that. - PositronWildhawk

Lol - 2storm

5 They were looking for the two meerkats who gave them a great insurance deal.
6 They spent their days growing up just dreaming of Salisbury

Why the hell wouldn't you? You can get on a train out of there unspeakably quickly! Perfect for either going somewhere more interesting, or getting away with attempted murder. - PositronWildhawk

Yah. Salisbury. It's THE place to be if: A - you're suspicious-looking, B - you're Russian, and C - if you're a suspicious-looking Russian. If you're none of the above, then Tring is the place for you. - Britgirl

7 It was lunchtime, and Salisbury was the only place in all of Europe where the shop was open that day
8 Some hooligan coaxed them halfway across the world with a sugar cube on a string
9 They wanted a selfie with an infamous Russian traitor

I'm your biggest fan! Will you sign this death warrant?... - PositronWildhawk

10 Anywhere is nicer than Russia

The Contenders

11 They had a coupon for all you can eat in any restaurant in the area
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List Stats

11 listings
9 days old

Top Remixes

1. They were just tourists wanting to see the cathedral
2. One of them left their hat behind the last time there was a nerve agent incident
3. Their plane crashed and exploded nearby, and everything was obliterated without a trace. Now they just had to find something to do.
PositronWildhawk

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