Top Ten Things the British Might Be Doing On U.S. Independence Day

Americans think that they're so great and amazing when they're all idiots and fail to realize how other countries are a lot better than them. I'm an American though, and am ashamed of my horrendous country, so I wouldn't mind if foreigners just laughed in our faces and were as rude to those arrogant Americans as possible.

Happy 4th of July!

I wonder if any of you lot are thinking the same thing. Probably not on this particular day, but come July 5th...

I agree! They think they are free because they do not know better!

We might have given a damn back in 1776, but we simply don't care anymore. I have been asked by an American whether we celebrate the Fourth of July, and my reaction was, why would we? Besides getting rid of you lot! Ha ha!

Scotland only recently tried to go independent, and well, that didn't work out for them. But one can certainly imagine them becoming a debt-ridden, partially racist, overly patriotic gun range on their own.

Scotland was an independent country once, from the Middle Ages to the 18th century. England and Scotland both united into Great Britain in 1707.

There's some people who have lived in the northern part of the British Isles called Scotland long ago.

Ha! You will never gain independence!

Take cover, the British are coming! And they're beyond drunk!

I do feel sorry for the good people having to put up with the hate they get. The country has serious problems, but that's no reason to hate and generalize American people.

But at the same time, I'm pointing out that we are better off in that respect.

Gotta hand it to them, Canadians are not overly patriotic, and so much more modest. With the exception of their mainstream pop musicians.

I normally would have taken a hint, but on this day in 2015, southern Britain was experiencing a record high temperature. Believe me, it was an absolutely unbearable heatwave, much unlike cool Canada.

Who else would they have gained Independence from?

Would you Americans find it hard to believe that the British also do this for patriotism? In fact, we were the originators.

For instance, a red, white, and blue Jaguar E-Type is much better than a red, white, and blue Shelby Mustang. And a red, white, and blue Eton Mess is much better than a red, white, and blue greaseburger.

I haven't been in the States on July 4th, but I'd be interested to see how they react to me. The people there are very polite, helpful, and accommodating on a normal day, I'll give them that.

One thing I remember seeing on my visits is the American flag appearing absolutely everywhere. How much of your own territory do you have to keep claiming?

Our flags are on every block. To tell you the truth, we are too patriotic for our own good.

Now this is wonderful. And yes, we have an absurd amount of flags.

Girl Scouts was used in old Britain when it started, but they dropped it and changed it to Girl Guides.

I used to have a history book about it.

We call it English (Traditional). We call your dialect English (Simplified).

Now my friend will finally have proper grammar.