Top 10 Absurd Ways Santa Claus Could Be a Communist

We all know that Santa Claus is one of the biggest western influences of Christmas, but there is some speculation that Santa could be a communist. How? Let's check the reasons... And by the way, don't take this list too seriously.
The Top Ten
1 He looks like Karl Marx

Santa original name Father Christmas, used to be a skinny man who wore green.

Santa is a communist because he doesn't wink in the Coca Cola advert anymore.

Guess what Santa Claus is fictional and is based on Saint Nicolas.

Santa was once considered a figure of the devil.

2 He wears red

This is an obese elderly man who is older than any human being, he can deliver presents to kids in one night, he has a flying sleigh and flying reindeers one has a red nose that lights the sky for him. He also has elves to make the toys. He drinks booze from every house he goes too. Then how many homes have chimneys nowadays.
He seems fine with other men younger than him impersonating him in "Santa's Grotto"

Santa wears red. So does Satan. Spell Santa differently and get Satan. Satan wears red. USSR is red. Satan is USSR confirmed.

Also in the past blue, green.
Oh wait its Coca-Cola and he is a communist now because he doesn't wink at the kid.

By that logic, the republican party is communist.

3 He wants to redistribute the wealth of everyone, like the Communists do

But how come upper class kids get so many different presents and working class kids get a select few?

That is actually a good thing.

4 Most of his gifts are "Made In China"

This is actually a pretty good reason. I have never gotten a present that says "Made in the USA" or some other country.

Lots of items are manufactured in China for some reason.

And we all know that China is a communist country.

I laughed so hard at this one! Very unique list!

5 He has a beard, like Stalin, Lenin, Fidel Castro and other communists

He has a beard like Saint Nicholas, and the Father Christmases of UK before Victorian era. (When the American Santa Claus came)

This is not a coincidence...

Stalin didn't have a beard, neither did Lenin (they had amazing mustaches though)

6 Santa's reindeer is red-nosed

The other reindeers made fun of Rudolph till Santa realised that he could help him.

See, red again

7 "Santa Claus is coming to town" is more like a communist parade

No doubt, this line refers to the KGB - "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake". KGB knows everything.

Yeah. AND, the song says, "He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake…" which just shows an example of the vice grip of Communist governments.

8 "Ho Ho Ho" means "Workers Unite!"

I thought it meant "Nick Minaj" because she is one.

You know, the motto of the Soviet Union was "Workers of the world, unite! "

9 The KGB has its list of who's naughty and nice, like Santa Claus!

And they put glowing hot coal in your stockings - while your feet were still in them

10 Rudolf is a Russian name

Rudolf is a Germanic name and I guess Santa got Rudolf, The red nosed reindeer, from the Marxist wing of the German Communist Party.

Russia was the biggest communist country in the world...and Rudolf was Santa's reindeer.

The Contenders
11 If you play "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" backwards, you'll hear "Die, American Capitalist pigs, die!"

Another song we all know but where there is a hidden message in reverse...

Can someone send me the link to listen the reverse?

This is honestly the funniest thing ever!

12 He is always watching
13 Part of Russia is in the Arctic Circle
14 He loves vodka
15 He has God powers
16 His original name was Father Christmas
17 This is a man who can deliver presents to kids on one night, has elves. He can go down a chimney he is also obese, he drinks loads of booze from the houses.

And how many homes even have chimneys nowadays?

18 We don't know his wife's first name
19 He is immortal
20 He is fine with other men dressing up as him and giving kids a present
21 He flies faster than the speed of light
22 He flies on a Space-Race era sled around the world in one night. (Powered by unknown forces.)
23 He can open doors with a magic key
24 He sees you when you're sleeping... he knows when you're awake...
25 He knows if you've been good or bad
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