Top Ten Reasons Why Santa Claus is Satan

The Top Ten

1 If you move the "N" in Santa to the end, you'll spell out Satan

Why is everyone taking this list so seerious? - Userguy44

Because he is based on Saint Nicolas a real man who gave presents to children.

Santa is a communist like the teletubbies - TwilightKitsune

Santa actually means "Saint" in Spanish (though admittedly, a FEMALE Saint). - clusium

2 Santa wears red, which is the same color of Satan

According to Christianity - Satan was supposed to be a handsome fallen angel. Santa Claus or Father Christmas he is a jolly fat man in a red suit with a white beard who also has a wife called Mrs Claus. He has elves and reindeers helping. He has a grotto that kids go to meet him. Santa lives in Lapland. Likes wine and mince pies that you give him on Christmas Eve.

Satan must be pulling another one of his dirty tricks onto the children.

3 Santa made us forget about Jesus Christ, which sounds like something Satan would want to do

Christmas exists because the church killed the Norse Pagans in the Crusades and turned Yule into Christmas to give Jesus a birthday because he didn't have one. The son of God obviously needs one.
But whatever this website is mostly with Americans who are more Jesus freaks than other countries.

The real reason Christmas exists was because of Jesus, but children don't even care about him anymore because of Satan Claus.


When Jesus wasn't even born in December.
Christmas was originally a Pagan holiday called Yule.
There was more than three wisemen, and they came after Jesus birth.

4 The Santa Myth caused parents to lie to their children

Shut up there is no such thing as Christmas in the Bible it was made up to give Jesus a birth date, to Christianise Saturnalia. You stole it.

Don't be silly its just some fun.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

5 Santa is a pedophile

Santa is a pedophile he comes at the night to come through the chimney to rape your child. Watch out he got big bick to attack you with.

6 Santa forces children to be his slaves

So Santa is real! obviously elves don't exist so he uses children until they grow up.

7 Santa didn't vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 election

He never lived in the North Pole he always lived in Lapland.

He lives in Lapland but whatever.

Or he's supposed to live in the North Pole.

Because he's a liberal satanist.

8 Santa has to torture reindeer to make them fly

He literally whips his reindeer over and over again to abuse them.

9 Santa forces people to worship him by making christmas movies about him

You've seen the Rankin/Bass films like Rudolph and Santa's coming to town.

10 Santa was one an outlaw that kept breaking the "No Toys" rule

The Burgermeister was the real good guy in the movie.

The Contenders

11 Satan is just made up by humans like Santa Claus. Both fictional.
12 Santa closed Toys R Us
13 He is immortal
14 He has God powers
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