Reasons Why Shrek is Better Than the Confederacy

The Top Ten

1 Shrek isn't racist

He's friends with Donkey, who is played by African American actor Eddie Murphy.

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2 Green is a better color than red

3 Lord Farquaad is more attractive than Jefferson Davis

Grey just doesn't look good on people.

4 Shrek doesn't represent the losing side of the Civil War

5 The Shrek DVD isn't banned in Walmart

6 The Kingdom of Far Far Away didn't try to secede from the Union

Far Far Away also has gingerbread people, while the Confederacy has alligators.

7 The song "Funkytown" is catchier than "I Wish I Was In Dixie"

You'll often hear "Funkytown" being played during parties, while the latter was played at Gettysburg.

8 Shrek is love and life, while the Confederate flag is slavery.

9 Fiona didn't marry her cousin

10 Democrats don't get offended by Shrek

Don give em that idea boy

The Contenders

11 Shrek didn't betray America

12 Shrek didn't own slaves

13 Shrek doesn’t condone slavery

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