Top Ten Weirdest SpongeBob Theories That Might Be True

The Top Ten
SpongeBob and his friends are the result of nuclear testing

I don't buy it. From what I can find, the bomb testings went off in 1946. So if that's the case, how is there a Western version, presumably set in the 1800s? And the whole Patrick Revere reference, which would take place in the 1700s. Also, though the episode's events are questionable, Dunces and Dragons shows a Middle Ages Bikini Bottom, estimated to the 1000s.

It might be true. Apparently, there's this place called Bikini Atoll, and the USA totally nuked it. So Bikini Bottom is under Bikini Atoll, and the results of nuclear testing could be mutation. So SpongeBob could possibly be a mutated kitchen sponge.

The main characters represent the seven deadly sins

SpongeBob: Lust. (Lust for life, you people out there.)

Sandy: Pride. (She just LOVES Texas.)

Krabs: Greed. (Honestly, need I explain?)

Squidward: Wrath. (He pretty much hates everyone. Except for Mom, maybe.)

Gary: Gluttony. (He eats couches, and SpongeBob constantly has to feed that fat snail.)

Plankton: Envy. (He's totally jealous of Mr. Krabs.)

Patrick: Sloth. (He lives under a rock and won an award for doing absolutely nothing.)

Didn't the creators themselves confirm that they did that on purpose?

This is a good thing to teach you not to act like any of the characters.

SpongeBob is a prodigy

Or a Gary Stu.

So you know the Band Geeks episode. SpongeBob turned that whole team into the best band ever in that episode. He also did other stuff even though he never touched it in his life. So Gary Stu or prodigy? Sorry, Canon Stu.

Spongebob is a mutated, adopted, kitchen sponge

So picture this: A sponge goes through Bikini Atoll. Baby SpongeBob is made. Mr. and Mrs. SquarePants find the baby and adopt him. His "cousins" are probably adopted too.

His adoptive parents kept it from him so he wouldn't be upset that his parents are Mr. Nuclear and Mrs. Radiation.

Sandy can breathe underwater for a short period of time

So here's the gist. When SpongeBob first met Sandy, she said her tree dome was made out of plastic. But in one episode, SpongeBob broke the glass and it started to leak.

So that would have meant that Sandy felt the need to change the material, even though glass is easy to break. Let's get to that later. So she made some fancy machine so she could breathe underwater and replace the material. Later on, she broke it.

Or the writers were just suffering from a case of Evidence you didn't watch the episodes-itis.

SpongeBob and friend's are druggies

Childhood: KABOOM! This is a little far-fetched and hopefully isn't true. I'd quit watching SpongeBob the day I watch an episode titled SpongeBob on Meth.

This makes perfect sense! But put any mention of it in, and those mind-numbed kids will be mind-numbed forever.

Think it's more that the creators of the show were stoned when they came up with it.

Squidward's Suicide is a real episode
Bikini bottom is a bikini bottom
SpongeBob is gay

He acts gay, that's what makes him funny.

Sponges in real life are bisexual, so really, he could be or could not be.

Despite Nickelodeon saying he's gay, he's confirmed asexual by Hillenburg.

Krabby patties are made from Pearl's mother and she's next

This is the darkest theory about SpongeBob ever. It says that Krabby Patties are made from whale meat and it's from Pearl's mom. This explains why we never see her mother, and 100,000 pounds equals a lot of Krabby Patties. So Pearl is going to be slaughtered when she's an adult.

The Newcomers

? Patrick has hundreds of personalities living in his brain with varying levels of intelligence that he is constantly switching between without his knowledge as his brain constantly splits just like starfish do
? Pearl is Adopted

This looks true due to how a crab could have a whale daughter.

The Contenders
SpongeBob and his friends are dead children

This is one of the weirdest theories I have seen in my life.

Patrick acts stupid on purpose

I have evidence: in one episode when SpongeBob and Patrick are inside Squidward, Patrick comes up with a genius idea.

Squidward is a former serial killer
In "SB29", Squidward dies

When the time machine malfunctions, Squidward doesn't survive.

Mr. Krabs is a cannibal
Squidward's nose Is a penis
Patrick is secretly a sociopath

Well... he was kinda psychotic in Pet Sitter Pat, but I blame that on bad writing, not his character. Then there's also The Card, Yours, Mine, and Mine, which are also questionable. Hmm... there might be some truth to this one.

Squidward is SpongeBob’s guardian
Spongebob has an eyewatering problem.
Gary the Snail is a 4D alien god that was a dolphin god rejected by the Illuminati and forced to live his life as a 2.5D gastropod mollusk
SpongeBob is racist
Mr. Krabs killed all the crabs
SpongeBob is adopted

When looking at his family tree, all his relatives are sponges, but his grandparents are cookies. So his parents and he are adopted. (His birth parents disappeared and are never shown in the cartoon.)

Slingshot died in season 4
Krabby patties are made of vegan meat
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