Best Ways to Get Onto the FBI Watch List

The Top Ten

1 Google "Best Torture Methods"

Totally never done this...

2 Make A List On how To Get Onto The FBI Watch List

3 Hang Out With Convicted Criminals

I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just if you're with like 10 of them every day, people who don't know you may become suspicious

My friends have blew up entire planets and eat puppies for dinner!

4 Threaten Donald Trump

End the shutdown, or we will take your KFC!

5 Look Up "How To Dispose of a Dead Body"

Drive into the middle of nowhere, but do not touch it. I suggest wearing very covering new clothes and a mask. Hike a mile into the woods. Drop it.

My friend told me how to. Well, former friend.

Is it too late for this?
FBI OPEN UP! 1! 111

6 Look Up "How To Break Into The White House"

I don't see what's wrong with this one

7 Move Large Amounts of Money

Just because I'm shipping 14 million dollars to a rich guy 4,235 miles away doesn't mean that I look suspicious

8 Have a Criminal History

Some offenders often repeat their crimes

9 Watch a Video on How to Tie a Noose

I already know how to, so I don't need to watch a video. Wait, I mean I don't know what a noose is.

10 Look Up Top Ten Ways to Get on the FBI Watchlist

The Contenders

11 Leave The Country Suspiciously Twice A Month With Lots Of Money

12 Try Accessing Child Pornography

I mean pornography with sex on children, not children watching sex.

It's on the dark web.

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