Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top Ten

1 Gaylord

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

poor kid

V 146 Comments
2 Dick

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

Dick is actually a nickname, not a real name. It's short for Richard. It's the CHILD's choice if they want to be called that. - EdRed

V 150 Comments
3 Satan

Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

Because satan is bad

These parents want their kids to grow up to be an evil demon and destroy the world! - EdRed

V 89 Comments
4 Abcde

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

Abcd really? 😒 Why's that a thing

V 36 Comments
5 Cannon

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

I feel the same way about the name Alyssa as you do about the name John. My name is Alyssa, and from my experience at graduation Alyssa was by far the most common name. I wish I was named something less common. - anonygirl

Cannons why not Connor - RobloxBFDIPoke223

V 23 Comments
6 Ian

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

What are you talking about the meaning of the name Ian is "god is forgiving" not "it"! So Ian is a good name to have!

Why is this on here? Ian is a perfectly normal name for a child. - EdRed

V 75 Comments
7 Seaman

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

I would hate to be named Seaman.

lol - Lunala

V 19 Comments
8 Elmo

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

That poor kids life will be worth living and whenever kids see him the will sing the Elmo's world theme song, plus parents these days name kids the weirdest names because I go to church with a girl named Nut and I went to summer camp 2 years ago with a girl named sunshine and I know a boy named Maverick that I went to a different summer camp with and at that same camp there was girl named Propose there too.

ELMO YES

V 33 Comments
9 Angus

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

The only Angus I know is from that Disney Channel show Ant Farm and he was a chubby, lazy computer geek who liked to eat. He couldn't even do one sit-up! Plus, this name also sounds like a huge burger you'd get from a fast food restaurant

On ANT Farm there's this guy named Angus - RobloxBFDIPoke223

V 35 Comments
10 Ib

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

Ugh Ib. What the heck were the parents thinking. I feel sorry for you Ib

V 27 Comments

The Newcomers

? Little Sweetmeat

I'm not kidding. Sone stupid parents literally named their kid that. There are no good nicknames for this either. Sweety, or even worse, MEATY! Like if the parents want to EAT their OWN CHILD! - EdRed

? Collin Dean

The Contenders

11 Adolf

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.

There's a guy on my bus nicknamed Hitler because he made constant Jew jokes. Just thought I'd share.

If their last name is "Hitler" then "Adolf" is not a good first name. (Also fun fact: I'm part German) - Lunala

V 22 Comments
12 Wolfgang

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

Sounds like a bad kids'cartoon

He hides through the night and is known by the whole world as justice wolfgang blaze

V 29 Comments
13 Ashley

This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name... - Pikachulover1

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Its an okay name if you're the ashley man from gone with the wind. Some people might tease a guy with a feminine sounding name

Ashley is a normal name ya dummies. - EdRed

V 31 Comments
14 Osama

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid

Their parents want their baby to grow up to be a terrorist who is killed at the age of 54. - EdRed

V 14 Comments
15 Shrek

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

LOL only do this if the baby is green, has too ear things on his head and likes onions and his seamp. - Lunala

V 36 Comments
16 Skyler

Skyler, I am the one who knocks!

Some people think anyone can be named skylar regardless of gender. A guy at my school is skylar and some people call him "sky high"

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair

Skyler is not bad. It's actually a pretty cool name. - EdRed

V 14 Comments
17 Felix

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.

This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).

What kind of low life would unlike this name since so many amazing (and fabulous) people wear it?!

I like this name and how pot this up here

V 30 Comments
18 Pinocchio

If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

At least you'd know when he lies to you.

Being named after a fictional character... Sad - Minecraftcrazy530

You should be a puppet made of wood, have a cricket in your head, and have a nose that extend when you tell lies. Then you'e all set. - Powerfulgirl10

V 8 Comments
19 Zane

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

Best name ever, a-hole.

My father almost named me this! - gunsnroses

Guy in my footy Clubs names Zane - Johncenaisthebest

V 32 Comments
20 Chip

It smells like potato

Chip the chipmunk! Where's Dale?

"chip" sounds good for now I love doritos

Chips And Dale
Chip from beauty and the beast - RobloxBFDIPoke223

V 7 Comments
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List Stats

6,000 votes
944 listings
9 years, 194 days old

Top Remixes (27)

1. Abcde
2. Blanket
3. Pinocchio
Minecraftcrazy530
1. Gaylord
2. Dick
3. Angus
Jamie509
1. Gaylord
2. Ib
3. Seaman
cyrus756

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