Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top Ten

1 Gaylord

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

Ooof. I feel really bad for that child.

V 161 Comments
2 Dick

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

I would never call my kid Dick it is the worst name ever I mean who would call their kid Dick

V 155 Comments
3 Satan

Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

Because satan is bad

Worst because not only it's religion (which I don't believe in, since I believe in evolution), but Satan is said to be bad/evil in myths. - DinoLover4242

V 96 Comments
4 Abcde

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

That name is a joke

V 40 Comments
5 Cannon

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

I feel the same way about the name Alyssa as you do about the name John. My name is Alyssa, and from my experience at graduation Alyssa was by far the most common name. I wish I was named something less common. - anonygirl

This reminds me of that 70s detective show that stared William Conrad (think Jake and the Fat Man).

V 26 Comments
6 Adolf

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.

There's a guy on my bus nicknamed Hitler because he made constant Jew jokes. Just thought I'd share.

Imagine if Eichman or Hitler was his last name.

V 32 Comments
7 Ib

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

Ugh Ib. What the heck were the parents thinking. I feel sorry for you Ib

V 26 Comments
8 Angus

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

The only Angus I know is from that Disney Channel show Ant Farm and he was a chubby, lazy computer geek who liked to eat. He couldn't even do one sit-up! Plus, this name also sounds like a huge burger you'd get from a fast food restaurant

The only positive outlook on this is Angus Young

V 40 Comments
9 Osama

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid

I am his SSSOOONNN

V 15 Comments
10 Elmo

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

That poor kids life will be worth living and whenever kids see him the will sing the Elmo's world theme song, plus parents these days name kids the weirdest names because I go to church with a girl named Nut and I went to summer camp 2 years ago with a girl named sunshine and I know a boy named Maverick that I went to a different summer camp with and at that same camp there was girl named Propose there too.

Can You tell me how to get to seame street - BreakFastBeast2005

V 37 Comments

The Contenders

11 Wolfgang

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

Sounds like a bad kids'cartoon

Must be a furry. - Spongehouse

V 34 Comments
12 Ian

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

What are you talking about the meaning of the name Ian is "god is forgiving" not "it"! So Ian is a good name to have!

Ian Hecox? Smosh? No? Ah never mind

V 77 Comments
13 Seaman

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

I would hate to be named Seaman.

ALL HAIL SEGA! - s646451

V 21 Comments
14 Ashley

This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name... - Pikachulover1

No I don't really think Ashley is a bad name for a boy. People think it's a girl's only name because mostly girls are called Ashley but I have a best friend called Ashley and he happens to be a boy. In the end the name Ashley is like Paris, we get Paris Hilton and we get Prince Paris from Paris and Helen

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Bitch alert

V 33 Comments
15 Shrek

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

My brother is named Billy and he bullied me in middle school then he was bullied in high school. - DrBobLemon

Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

It’s Shrek''' get out of me swamp

V 38 Comments
16 Camel

I'm going to name my kid this. And if I have another kid I am going to name them Cow.

While your at it name his twin donkey or horse

Camel more like mamel

17 6IX9INE 6IX9INE Daniel Hernandez, known by his stage name 6ix9ine, also known as Tekashi69 or simply Tekashi, is an American rapper.

This isn't a name, take it off the list!

Trash name and person

... This isn't an actual name. - DumbFriesNub

Amazing name it’s my best friends name no lie

18 Joe

But my name is Joseph

This is not really a real name. It's a nickname for Joseph. - EdRed

I think Joe is a great name! It is my brother's name

That is VERY close to my nickname, which is this except spelled J-O

V 4 Comments
19 Pinocchio

If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

At least you'd know when he lies to you.

Being named after a fictional character... Sad - Minecraftcrazy530

Pinocchio:Mom,Dad why did you name me this way?
Dad:Cause -
Mom:Cause Pinocchio is a great name.
Pinocchio:Not when I get bullied over it... - DrBobLemon

V 9 Comments
20 Chip

It smells like potato

Chip the chipmunk! Where's Dale?

"chip" sounds good for now I love doritos

Sour cream and onion - DrBobLemon

V 7 Comments
21 Buster

This is my dog's name

Buster poesy - VeganTurtle

BUSTER NUT

22 Nick

Nick isn't such a bad name it's just so common that soon every boy will be named Nick and then when the teacher calls on Nick every boy will answer.

That's my cousins name!

It's so common, there are three or four Nicks in my classes, and the people in my classes are only a fourth of my grade.

That was the name of the guy I liked in middle school...

V 17 Comments
23 Dakota

Only Girls Are Named Dakota For Crying Out Loud! I Mean come on!

My name is Dakota and I think that it's pretty cool. I'm a girl though so I can't say that I've been bullied for being called Dakota. I just don't like the nickname Kota, unless we're talking about Brother Bear!

No I like that name for a guy okay and of you don't that's fine but that ne is grate

There's this guy at my school named Dakota, and it fits him well. Yeah it's more of a girl name, but that's fine. It's not like you're naming your son Brittany - galaxyfox

V 18 Comments
24 Bart

Shiver me timbers matey!

Imagine if you were called this name and your last name was Simpson. - FinnsWorld

This is the name of Impulse off of Young Justice and Bart is awesome!

Bart = Fart - EvilEyedWarHawk

V 16 Comments
25 Moose

And maybe he'll have a pet bird named Zee. - FasterThanSonic

Don't ever name your kids endangered animals. Its just wrong.

Huh. So people who hate this guy will call him a deranged aNimal, but the girl in his cooking class who's in love with him will try to lick him and call him sweet as chocolate mousse. This is a bad name all around! (no offense to any mooses or people named moose! )

Sometimes people name their cat moose and it just confuses me. That's a cat, not a moose!

V 6 Comments
26 Zane

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

Best name ever, a-hole.

My father almost named me this! - gunsnroses

First birthday gift? A dunce cap.

V 34 Comments
27 Nathaniel

It my youngest brother's name

Nathan is a good name, but NATHANIEL is a HORRIBLE name! Why would anyone screw up a good name and turn it into a piece of crap!?

Love this good solid name and it is my brother's name!

Dumb

V 7 Comments
28 John

I really like this name. It's underused and it can be made into cool nicknames like Jack or Johnny. What kind of idiot put this here, it's a really dumb creature. - EdRed

John is a great name! Who the heck wrote this list?

I love that name some one in my school is could that and he is very cute I mean very cute

Also you can not make John Jack. - BabyBackBaby

V 3 Comments
29 Hitler

Seriously, parents are really deranged if they name their child this.

Even I hate that name and I'm German

Honestly it's like the parents want the poor kid's @$$ to get kicked!

Who would their kid over the worst leader in history? - anonygirl

V 5 Comments
30 Tom

Tom? And what would you name your other boy? Jerry? - Epicsauce45

Tom is a name for a guy with a massive head and small feet

Tom is so boring. Just like jack. Snore!

Tom is a peeper! Peeping tom

V 6 Comments
31 George

Curious George

You have insulted our robot
i shall find you and spank you

32 Jeremy

Jeremy is a fine name

Nothing wrong with this name

Ugly ass name

Cool name bruh

V 4 Comments
33 Wilburforce

Because will was just too mainstream

I have no words

May the wilburforce be with you

Who are we? We are the wilburforce.

I wilburforce you to believe it - SpectralOwl

V 9 Comments
34 Milhous

This is the most funny sounding name, and yes it's real. Ever wondered what the "M" stands for in "Richard M. Nixon"

"Everything is looking up Milhous! "

Milhouse van Hauten (It's he dutch? ) - RobloxBFDIPoke223

Milhouse van hauten

V 1 Comment
35 Adalfried

I love names that are hard to pronounce

36 Hayley

Who in the world putted this here! This is a girl's name no boy name! What stupid idiots are out there I saw a girl's name on this list more than once. Hayley is a pretty girl's name whoever putted a girl's name on this list is gettin TORTURED! I MEAN IT!

I actually heard of Hayley being a guys name... In the third grade a girl name Hayley said that if she was a boy her name would still be Hayley but yah it still appears to be weird to me

Um, why are girl names on this list? This is a list of worst boy names, not worst girl names. So this and other girl names should be off the list.

Hayley is a girls name and whoever put it in was a dumb A - Chipchic

V 11 Comments
37 Eli

What's wrong with Eli. I have a friend named that. I think it's a good name

There's nothing wrong with the name Eli. It's a great name and it totally doesn't even go in the same category as the other names on this list.

I think that this name sould be taken off the list. I have a friend at school named Eli. He's cute maybe even hot and kids are friends with him. Whoever made this list did not do very good-my opinion

I know someone who named there son Eli Richard.

Yes

V 17 Comments
38 Facebook

Anyone who decides to name their kid Facebook needs mental help.

Why, just why? The parents must be obsessed with social media, too much that they even named their kid Facebook. What's his sibling's names? Twitter? Instagram? Tumblr?

Laugh out loud! Why would you name a kid after a website?! - Powerfulgirl10

If you want to name your son after Facebook then name him Mark. - DrBobLemon

V 10 Comments
39 Dat

Number 1 best name

I only give you permission to name your kid "that" as long as his last name is ass

Well, if its name was that, the best surname would be Donkey, a variation or it in some different language. I think it's funnier.

I wish my name was Dat Boi Collin...now I know what to name my son. - DrBobLemon

V 7 Comments
40 Robert

I am called robert so the person who made this list can kiss my ass

That's my dad's name I like rob better

What kind of CREATURE put this here!? It needs to die! - EdRed

My name is Robert and my parents called me Bob.I agree this name sucks because the name Bob gets bullied in school.Personal experience. - DrBobLemon

V 4 Comments
41 Felix

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.

This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).

What kind of low life would unlike this name since so many amazing (and fabulous) people wear it?!

Felix is the best name I've heard by far in this list

V 34 Comments
42 Zachary

That has to be the name of an ass

Hey my boyfriends name is Zachary and he HAS an ass

I know a zachary, and he is an a-hole

There’s a Zachary I’m my school and he’s is a bitch - VeganTurtle

V 1 Comment
43 Marluxia

KInda sounds like a disease

Remind me of my sister: sounds disgusting

Job Interview
"Hi I am Marluxia Johnson and -"
"Wait,you are named Marluxia? "
"Yes."
"I will make a typo on your name tag to Max."
"Everyone makes a typo with my name..."
"Your not getting the job." - DrBobLemon

44 Owen

That's my cousins name! It's a good name, at least I think it's a nice name and it suits him well.

My brothers name was gonna be changed to this lol but parents weren't aloud

Owen seems like a name for a nice guy. - EdRed

I'm an Owen, a guy who likes to draw, makes all A's, and is on his way to be an animator! EdRed, you're right. I'm a nice Owen!

V 5 Comments
45 Gaylon

Made up crap, you are pathetic if you name your son this

Whoever has this name must be fabulous

My friends names is Daelon. Better.

I know at least one older Gaylon. It's not made up. And it isn't appropriate for boys nowadays. I saw someone name their son Gaylon on T.V. (modern) and I made a face.

46 Billy

Billy's not a bad nickname, but it's not really a very good real name for adulthood. Its not very formal. Maybe you should name them William (an underrated, cool name) and call them Billy for short. If you don't like William, you could also name them Bill and call them Billy. - EdRed

Oh damn you. That's my effing name. Why not something dumb like that weird gibberish name or Anal? I like my name!

Stop making fun of peoples names. It is very offensive

Billy is my brother's name and my brother is a dickhead so yeah.GOD DAMMIT BILLY.See it makes sense. - DrBobLemon

V 10 Comments
47 Sam

I used to like this name until that annoying guy Sam Sandwich came along.

Sam sandwich! We all hate him!

I once had someone in my class named sam - FinnsWorld

No

V 3 Comments
48 Adolfo
49 B.J.

Laugh out loud! If you know the real meaning, you don't want to name someone that

If I had a name like "Barney Johnson" I would stay with it and not call myself "B.J."

The person that named their child B.J. must have either watched too much Barney before giving birth or had given birth to a orange dinosaur that they named him after B.J.

Why after a Barney The Dinosaur character? Why? This show stinks anyways.

V 9 Comments
50 Donkey

Sounds like the parents are big fans of shrek

Who would name they're kid Donkey, for cryin' out loud?! What?! This should be #1 on the list of worst names for a definite

Weird name who would call there kid donkey looks like they are a BIG fan of shrek

This was my nickname back in high school. - DrBobLemon

V 12 Comments
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