Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top Ten

1 Gaylord

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

Are really going to put your child through such pain

V 128 Comments
2 Dick

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

Sometimes kids can cruel

V 142 Comments
3 Satan

Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

Because satan is bad

This is terrible! Don't name your child after the devil!

V 79 Comments
4 Abcde

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

What the heck? Whose child is named ABCDE?

V 30 Comments
5 Seaman

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

I would hate to be named Seaman.

Last year, when we learned about Lewis and Clark, I tried not to laugh every time they said "Seaman"

V 15 Comments
6 Elmo

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

I think the parents should take LEGAL drugs. And not get drunk while choosing baby names

I'm going to call my kid Kermit. Stupid name this is, Elmo for goodness - JacknLou1e

V 25 Comments
7 Cannon

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

There is a kid in my math class named cannon… lol and he is a jerk. Not saying that everyone with this name is, just pointing it out. His name might actually be spelled with on n but I don't know

V 20 Comments
8 Angus

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you

The only Angus I know is from that Disney Channel show Ant Farm and he was a chubby, lazy computer geek who liked to eat. He couldn't even do one sit-up! Plus, this name also sounds like a huge burger you'd get from a fast food restaurant

Angus Young

V 33 Comments
9 Ian

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

How is this name only fourth on the list? Surely it's just the worst name ever!

I would kill myself if I had this name

V 67 Comments
10 Ib

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

I thought that was short 4 "international baccalaureate" or "intellectual brain-sweeper" or something like that - GriffinDoge

V 25 Comments

The Newcomers

? Johnothan

I do NOT think Johnothan is a bad name, it sounds good.

The Contenders

11 Wolfgang

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

Sounds like a gangs of wolves and a baby of a person should be not named by this, your child will kill you - ronluna

When I was in school we were learning about him and that's exactly what I was thought

Sounds like a bad kids'cartoon

R these actual names

V 25 Comments
12 Adolf

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.

There's a guy on my bus nicknamed Hitler because he made constant Jew jokes. Just thought I'd share.

HOW TO TRIGGER JEWS SINCE 1945

V 19 Comments
13 Osama

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid

To all parents who name their kid this.
If you thought you were the worlds greatest mom and dad, it's because you read too much of those fathers Day and mother's day cards that belong to your neighbor.

V 13 Comments
14 Ashley

This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name... - Pikachulover1

Thus is my friends name and he's a boy

Its an okay name if you're the ashley man from gone with the wind. Some people might tease a guy with a feminine sounding name

Among the worst names for a boy, alongside Lara, Alexis and Beau. It's one of those names well-suited for transvestites due to its gender ambiguity.

V 28 Comments
15 Skyler

Some people think anyone can be named skylar regardless of gender. A guy at my school is skylar and some people call him "sky high"

I have a friend named Skyler and I thought he was a girl cause of his long hair

Not that bad... You know Skylar Astin... Pretty cool name

It's fine I have a friend called skyler

V 13 Comments
16 Felix

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.

This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).

What kind of low life would unlike this name since so many amazing (and fabulous) people wear it?!

What about Felix Leiter from the James Bond series?

V 18 Comments
17 Kevin

Kevin isn't a bad game at all.

I have a church minster named kevin and he is a wonderful guy he is the kids minster and I love it when he preaches I think

Kevin is not a bad name it should be on the best names ever so I think it is great name

Kiven is a hgreat name

V 19 Comments
18 Zane

Best name ever, a-hole.

Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

My father almost named me this! - gunsnroses

Zane's my favorite name because it's my best friends name and I love him so much

V 29 Comments
19 Shrek

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

Now paint the kid green! Laugh out loud for a Halloween costume

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

You must be in my class because I went to the same camp also in Grade 6 and the guys name was also Shrek. At least no one was named donkey. - AlphaQ

AHAHAA Poor kid named after a green ass ogre thing lol - KianaLexi

V 26 Comments
20 Braydon

I don't see anything wrong with this name. It's a lot better than other names on this list. I mean, who would wanna name their kid Satan?

It's a cute name ill name my son braydon

Looks like someone spelled Brandon wrong

I like this name

V 5 Comments
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List StatsUpdated 28 Feb 2017

5,000 votes
864 listings
8 years, 322 days old

Top Remixes (26)

1. Abcde
2. Blanket
3. Pinocchio
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1. Gaylord
2. Dick
3. Angus
Jamie509
1. Gaylord
2. Ib
3. Seaman
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