Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top Ten
1 Gaylord

Come on, COME ONE! The poor little thing will get bullied I mean just think your mum or the d calling ya across the park 'GAYLORD! ' or the register... Johna, here miss Emily, here miss Sophie, here miss Gaylord, here miss and then everyone snigers who the hell came up with this name I don't know! Freakshow (no offense) laugh out loud!

Oh my god this is child abuse. I feel sorry for the poor kid who is named this. He should demand that his parents change his name because he probably gets bullied everyday! Why is this even a name!

Everyday having to go school and be bullied! No no no that should be not allowed the kids parents should be ashamed because this is no and I mean no joking matter.

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

2 Dick

This name would suck for a last name too. And if your first name was harry and last name was dick. Put 2 and 2 together and yup that your name!

Like for real, really? Do you hate you're child that much? Cause I know like if a dude came up to me and was like "Hey my name's Dick! " I would give him hell for it, and then laugh and walk off...and not even to be mean! But just cause it's that funny!

Wow... Just Wow.. Who would name there son Dick. I know some people like Moby Dick but it is a last name but who would name there sons first name Dick. Only if u look like a penis u can name him like that. Ok that was a joke not real.-...
But seriously what

It's kinda a funny name but if there is a president named Dick I then I would stop thinking dirty thoughts. But for now, laugh out loud. SORRY to anyone who gets offended. This thing wont let me get off.

3 Satan

Sounds like some parents are going a little over board in trying to stick it to those 'dumb Christians' by naming their child after a devil in a religion... In my opinion that angst would be better spent on some picket sign or debate somewhere instead of making your kid wear it around... Very unoriginal.

In my opinion, the name Satan is MUCH worse than Gaylord. At least Gaylord was at once considered normal and is only considered "abnormal" because of how messed up people are today.

Shouldn't this name be illegal?
Who thought giving their child this name was a good idea?
I never heard of such a horrible name like this before and I am disappointed I have right now.

Who the heck would name their kid after the devil? That is just cruelty, I would feel bad for the kid. Being named after the ruler of hell who is evil is just messed up.

4 Abcde

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-I-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

I have to admit, it's actually unique. I've never met someone named abcde before. I had never heard of it until now. Props to whoever thought of that.

Someone must have made this name up as a joke and then people didn't get it and made it official...

5 Cannon

This is my name, childhood was miserable. But, I can ALWAYS get my name on any social network, or email, or website. I've always felt bad for people named John, it's like you say the name and 9 other people pop up. So lame.

I love the name. My brother is Cannon and he was named after a really great man. He was teased a lot in school, but who isn't... Kids can turn any name into an insult.

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon.

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though.

6 Adolf

After the 2nd world war, no kid on earth ever got called Adolph anymore. If someone call his child like that, he shall not be surprised if people look at his son like he's the devil.

I feel like many people are voting because of one person with this name, but even putting him aside, I would still hate to be called this if I were a boy.

No one ever got named Adolf again after WWII. The only living person I know of that was born with 'Adolf' in his name is actor Max von Sydow (he was born Carl Adolf von Sydow, though he did get a name change).

All you need to do is change your last name to "Hitler" after being named Adolf, and you'll become a dictator.

7 Ib

Ib is the name of a horror RPG character named Ib in the game "Ib the game"
Except that the game Ib is a girl and it's pronounced as "Eve" like in Christmas Eve or sometimes "Eeb".
It's a good game, (AWESOME GAME! Honestly isn't really scary tall just to say that you should check out! )
BUT, it really doesn't make a good name. What were the parents of the RPG character Ib thinking? Even worse if you're using it for a boy. Although it sounds pretty bad for both boys AND girls.

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

BWAHAHAAHA IB? REALLY! I'm a kid and I have my toys say this when they're bored and a guy named this appears and they say not you so funny, Ib is just terrible.

8 Angus

I am disappointed in whoever made this list...
a boy, no sorry, MY FRIEND in my class's name is Angus and he is one of the nicest people I have ever met! Also, some of these names aren't even that bad... but... some are horrible. But some of these I think are fake! Like, have you ever known or met someone named Abcde! I mean, like, come-on! You expect us to believe THAT! Hahaa! Very funny! Good joke! - a very annoyed year 4
p.s.- my friend Angus, IS NOT FAT!

The only Angus I know is from that Disney Channel show Ant Farm and he was a chubby, lazy computer geek who liked to eat. He couldn't even do one sit-up! Plus, this name also sounds like a huge burger you'd get from a fast food restaurant

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

How the heck is Va and ollie better then this name when these people show up at my house and ask for a apple well guess what I say no no yes no! Then I'll throw the apple at'em
From chupacabra

9 Elmo

Take that back! Elmo was my favorite character from Sesame Street when I was younger not that I would name my child that. Anyways wouldn’t a worse name be Troom Troom?

That poor kids life will be worth living and whenever kids see him the will sing the Elmo's world theme song, plus parents these days name kids the weirdest names because I go to church with a girl named Nut and I went to summer camp 2 years ago with a girl named sunshine and I know a boy named Maverick that I went to a different summer camp with and at that same camp there was girl named Propose there too.

Elmo? What? The parents must be huge fans of Elmo and watched too much Sesame Street to name their kid that. "Hi Elmo, do you want to go play with your friends at Sesame Street? ".

Elmo? Really? Like are the parents naming their kid after elmo from sesame street? You must be a special kind of stupid

10 Osama

Oh sweet jesus. If you slap a name like that on your kid and think that's okay you're effing wrong because when the kid gets older and attends middle or high school everyone will hate him because of that name you put on him without thinking about how the kid would feel

To all parents who name their kid this.
If you thought you were the worlds greatest mom and dad, it's because you read too much of those fathers Day and mother's day cards that belong to your neighbor.

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

The parents are just calling the bullies with a megaphone, "Here is Osama Bin Laden folks, step right up! "

The Contenders
11 Ian

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

My name is Ian and I'm doing perfectly fine in life. Full ride scholarships, solid dating life, looks like my "ugly" name has probably gotten me further than a lot of you people that sit around and insult people online. Get a life.

I have the literal worst experience with this name. A guy in middle school was named Ian and he was the worst human being to ever exist. I'm talking Grade A++++ a**. He is the worst. WORST.

12 Wolfgang

For everyone who is culture-blind, Wolfgang happens to be Mozart's last name and if you don't believe me, look it up.

It must have been a cool name in the Mozart generation. But don't name your kid this in the generation we live now

But Wolfgang Van Halen, he's the son of the worlds greatest guitarist and his uncle is one of the greatest drummers ever. And he knows DlR.

Oh, there was a composer named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. He was one of the greatest musicians in history.

13 Seaman

We have Superman, Batman, and what's next? Seaman? All I can picture is a male superhero who is a mermaid underwater that saves people from dangers such as hurricanes and other water storms. That would be a pretty cool super hero to be honest.

It is not necessary for you to lavish so much attention on Seaman. I hope that Seaman is not disturbing your daily routine.

Last year, when we learned about Lewis and Clark, I tried not to laugh every time they said "Seaman"

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

14 Ashley

No I don't really think Ashley is a bad name for a boy. People think it's a girl's only name because mostly girls are called Ashley but I have a best friend called Ashley and he happens to be a boy. In the end the name Ashley is like Paris, we get Paris Hilton and we get Prince Paris from Paris and Helen

I love Ashley for a boy! Like Ashley Williams from the evil dead, he's a total badass and I'd totally name my future son after him

Among the worst names for a boy, alongside Lara, Alexis and Beau. It's one of those names well-suited for transvestites due to its gender ambiguity.

Ashley isn't that bad of a name for a guy actually. Any Evil Dead fans will know that the main character is Ashley J. WIlliams, a badass dude.

15 Shrek

Yes there are people named Shrek. In my Grade 6 Camp, the manager was Shrek. And I thought he was Shrek the Ogre in disguise or something.

That names pretty ridiculous.

Lol! Naming a kid after an ogre? Funny! Now the kid needs green skin and needs to wear a Shrek costume. Then we get a real life Shrek, a bonus if the kid acts like him.

If people actually name their children this. Then Dreamworks Universal should go bankrupt for buying the rights for this series.

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

16 6IX9INE Daniel Hernandez, known by his stage name 6ix9ine, also known as Tekashi69 or simply Tekashi, is an American rapper.

Trash name and person

It’s not a name. Also his real name is Daniel not David.

Amazing name it’s my best friends name no lie

6ix9ine is actually his nickname. His real name is David Hernandez.

17 Camel

I'm going to name my kid this. And if I have another kid I am going to name them Cow.

While your at it name his twin donkey or horse

Camel more like mamel

18 Joe

This is not really a real name. It's a nickname for Joseph.

I think Joe is a great name! It is my brother's name

I'd never name my kid Joe. Sorry

But my name is Joseph

19 Pinocchio

If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

Do people love the movie that much? If my son was named pinocchio he would be made of wood and say I'm a real boy

You should be a puppet made of wood, have a cricket in your head, and have a nose that extend when you tell lies. Then you'e all set.

Pinocchio:Mom,Dad why did you name me this way?
Dad:Cause -
Mom:Cause Pinocchio is a great name.
Pinocchio:Not when I get bullied over it...

20 Poop

Poop, I mean, what is this, the first century? What kind of knucklehead would name their kid Poop? I guess when I write I will just start capitalizing it. Even though I never write Poop. But still who the barnacle would name their kid after somthing that emerges from your butt?!?! The parents might as well name their other kids pee, barf, and toilet. Now this is one jacked family...

Um... Who would name their kid after something that emerges from your butt?

I’m sorry but that is just... who names their child after something that goes into the toilet? I can’t imagine how that kid will live through middle school...

Holy poop who names there kid this

21 Chip

My mom had a boyfriend named Chip. Whenever I hear her talk about him I always ask how Mrs. Potts is doing.

If anyone names a kid this perhaps a twin brother dale?

It smells like potato

How can people name their son this

22 Nick

Nick isn't such a bad name it's just so common that soon every boy will be named Nick and then when the teacher calls on Nick every boy will answer.

It's so common, there are three or four Nicks in my classes, and the people in my classes are only a fourth of my grade.

Yeah, experienced a horrid trauma from a nik...not a fan of the name anymore

What the heck is wrong with the name Nick? I like that name!

23 Buster

When I first saw this I saw Bluestar X>
all you Warrior cat fans lol

Every bully name ever

This is my dog's name

It sucks

24 Hitler

Whoever names their kid like that is definitely more retarded than those who name their kid 'Adolf'

Seriously, parents are really deranged if they name their child this.

Honestly it's like the parents want the poor kid's @$$ to get kicked!

Just imagine the history lessons

25 Bart

Imagine if you were called this name and your last name was Simpson.

This is the name of Impulse off of Young Justice and Bart is awesome!

At least your named after a character from The Simpsons.

It sounded like somebody put fart Andy barf together.

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