Worst First Names for a Boy

The Top Ten

1 Gaylord

Come on poor kid has to fight for his life in the schoolyard daily.

I want to kill the father who named their son like that. Poor kid. This name should not be allowed

Ha! Poor freakshow! Someones going to get bullied. He should change his name

Why do people hate homosexuality so much? I'm gay but I devoted my life to God.

V 178 Comments
2 Dick

Um... I was going to say something funny, but some people might get offended. Don't worry, I have a funny name too. - aeromaxx777

HA HA HA Such a funny name who would name their son penis its the same as dick - noontime123

Why would u name your son dick?

Dont hurt yourself trying to think funny. - fireinside96

V 163 Comments
3 Satan

Satan... Ookayy...

Who named their kid satan anyway?

If you name your child this your officially a monster.

I would NEVER name my baby boy Satan.

He will take over the play ground!

V 98 Comments
4 Abcde

-_-... Why the heck would you name your own son Abcde? I feel sorry for the boy... And now I feel like I want to Sing the alphabet...

I'm NOT JOKING! On the radio they said something about worst names and this guy called and said his friend was called ABCDE! By the way its pronounced A-Bes-i-ty. Sounds like obesity. Abcde is a bad name on SO many different levels

My little sister's classmate is Abcde. I had to ask him so many times because I confessed I wasn't hearing his name right, until I asked him to spell it out.

That name is a joke

V 40 Comments
5 Cannon

Be bad if you're last name was "Ball"... How would you feel?
I see nothing wrong with Ian or Colin though. - Guido

Oof my name is cannon yall

This is a joke. I think the parents were not ready to have a child and they wanted to blow him away through a cannon. - Slashhead

A boy named Aquiles who shaved his head

V 28 Comments
6 Adolf

Actually Adolf isn't bad it's the Hitler part that's bad. - Stalin

This name should be number 2, right after Satan.

The name gotten ruined because of that infamous dictator who killed millions of Jews. - JoeBoi

We already know why it’s bad

V 38 Comments
7 Ib

This is not a name! What a sad guy who would name his child this sounds like something you say when your bored. Seriously is anyone even called this!

My friends nickname is ib

That's a name? Wow. My mom is a daycare teacher and sometimes I volenteer there when I don't have school and I've heard some names like Wheeler and Hero It's so upsetting knowing these kids will live there entire lives with stupid names

Don't like it at all. Its too short and its sad how parents don't realize what they did. These kids deserve better proper names

V 27 Comments
8 Angus

The Angus burger comes from some of the best beef in the world, developed in Scotland... Aongheas (Gaelic spelling) is a very common name there, hence the name of the breed. A very ancient and proud name in Scotland.

The only positive outlook on this is Angus Young

Well, if your baby is fat, this is the one for you


V 42 Comments
9 Ian

I think that Ian is a hot name. I had a friend in my middle school named Ian and he was pretty cute. I don't think that Ian is a bad ugly name. Anyway when I have a son I am going to name it Ian.

Damn, he must of been the candles of a roasting fire in your opinion!

If I had a dog, I'd name it Ian, as a joke. Wolfgang is a beautiful name by comparison. Ian deserves to be at the top of this list. All those unfortunate Ians out there would at least be able to sleep at night knowing that they were at the top of a list for once. No offense intended

This is the most common name on this list by far. Ian Fleming created James Bond, and Ian Anderson lead Jethro Tull.

I like that name, though it is kind of short...

V 85 Comments
10 Elmo

Elmo?! The parents of this child must be seriously deranged.

Someone's parents watch too much Sesame Street. - DumbFriesNub


I think they were getting ready for the baby so much that they watched too many cartoons...

V 40 Comments

The Contenders

11 Osama

Oh no, it's Osama! Let's kill him again!

It was pure unlucky that Osama (bin laden) was born and terrorized... Although anyone else I am fine with the name "Osama"

Well no, because Osama Bin Laden is the terrorist that’s responsible for the 9/11 attacks. - JoeBoi

Thisis the worst name anybody could ever name a kid

V 16 Comments
12 Wolfgang

Wolfgang is such a stupid and ugly name!

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is the name of the famous composer

I thought this was a joke

Wolfgang Puck

V 39 Comments
13 Seaman

"Hey look, Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back! "

Seaman... Like the dog on the Lewis and Clark expedition?

ALL HAIL SEGA! - s646451

I would hate to be named Seaman.

V 19 Comments
14 Ashley

I love Ashley for a boy! Like Ashley Williams from the evil dead, he's a total badass and I'd totally name my future son after him

This is a girls name! HELO? Maybe that's Ash Ketchum's real name... - Pikachulover1

No I don't really think Ashley is a bad name for a boy. People think it's a girl's only name because mostly girls are called Ashley but I have a best friend called Ashley and he happens to be a boy. In the end the name Ashley is like Paris, we get Paris Hilton and we get Prince Paris from Paris and Helen

This is traditionally a boy's name. It was a boy's name for decades and only since the 1970s has it been a popularized as a girl's name.

V 34 Comments
15 Shrek

You can't name your kid something like this and their siblings something normal like Jack or Billy

My brother is named Billy and he bullied me in middle school then he was bullied in high school. - DrBobLemon


If people actually name their children this. Then Dreamworks Universal should go bankrupt for buying the rights for this series.


V 44 Comments
16 6IX9INE 6IX9INE Daniel Hernandez, known by his stage name 6ix9ine, also known as Tekashi69 or simply Tekashi, is an American rapper.


This isn't a name, take it off the list!

6ix9ine is actually his nickname. His real name is David Hernandez. - JoeBoi

Am I the only one who reads it as "Sixixnineine"?! - BlackAngel_ZombieBoy

V 6 Comments
17 Camel

ha ha

I'm going to name my kid this. And if I have another kid I am going to name them Cow.

While your at it name his twin donkey or horse

Camel more like mamel

18 Joe

Joe is worst name

This trash my name joe die in ahole


But my name is Joseph

V 7 Comments
19 Pinocchio

If I was a little boy I'd barf if my name was Pinocchio. Would my Daddy have to be named Gepetto, too? Then there's the problem with crickets... I'm allergic to them even if they might be named "Jiminy" and can sing better than Rebecca Black. What a doosey.

Pinocchio:Mom,Dad why did you name me this way?
Dad:Cause -
Mom:Cause Pinocchio is a great name.
Pinocchio:Not when I get bullied over it... - DrBobLemon

At least you'd know when he lies to you.

Being named after a fictional character... Sad - Minecraftcrazy530

V 9 Comments
20 Chip


My mom had a boyfriend named Chip. Whenever I hear her talk about him I always ask how Mrs. Potts is doing.

If anyone names a kid this perhaps a twin brother dale?

It smells like potato

V 11 Comments
21 Nick

Yeah, experienced a horrid trauma from a nik...not a fan of the name anymore

That's just a short form for Nicholas

That was the name of the guy I liked in middle school...

Nick isn't such a bad name it's just so common that soon every boy will be named Nick and then when the teacher calls on Nick every boy will answer.

V 19 Comments
22 Poop

Why did this make me ugly laugh

I laughed way too hard at this

I’m sorry but that is just... who names their child after something that goes into the toilet? I can’t imagine how that kid will live through middle school...

Poop, I mean, what is this, the first century? What kind of knucklehead would name their kid Poop? I guess when I write I will just start capitalizing it. Even though I never write Poop. But still who the barnacle would name their kid after somthing that emerges from your butt?!?! The parents might as well name their other kids pee, barf, and toilet. Now this is one jacked family...

V 8 Comments
23 Buster

That's my mother's cat's name. - BlackAngel_ZombieBoy

Buster poesy - VeganTurtle


This is my dog's name

24 Hitler

Imagine seeing someone named this... - Bammer73

Just imagine the history lessons


10/10 name

V 10 Comments
25 Dakota

One of my best friend has a middle name as Dakota It suits him - Funky15Gaming

Only Girls Are Named Dakota For Crying Out Loud! I Mean come on!

There was this weird boy in kindergarten with this name. He had a paper collection in his crayon box.

My name is Dakota and I think that it's pretty cool. I'm a girl though so I can't say that I've been bullied for being called Dakota. I just don't like the nickname Kota, unless we're talking about Brother Bear!

V 18 Comments
26 Bart

It sounded like somebody put fart Andy barf together.

At least your named after a character from The Simpsons. - DumbFriesNub

Is it just me or does this name remind me of Paul Blart?

Shiver me timbers matey!

V 17 Comments
27 Zane


Just because that guy from 1D has this name doesn't mean it's an automatic bad name!

Best name ever, a-hole.

My father almost named me this! - gunsnroses

V 35 Comments
28 Moose

Sometimes people name their cat moose and it just confuses me. That's a cat, not a moose!

And maybe he'll have a pet bird named Zee. - FasterThanSonic

Don't ever name your kids endangered animals. Its just wrong.

Huh. So people who hate this guy will call him a deranged aNimal, but the girl in his cooking class who's in love with him will try to lick him and call him sweet as chocolate mousse. This is a bad name all around! (no offense to any mooses or people named moose! )

V 6 Comments
29 Baby

Come on...

30 Nathaniel

I know someone who has this name and they are a crybaby football player

This is a perfectly normal wonderful name!


It my youngest brother's name

V 11 Comments
31 Barney

What kind of parent would name their kid after a dinosaur? - DumbFriesNub

Barney is a T.V. show but he cussed just come on

At least you're named after a funny character from The Simpsons

Exterminate - Juanald

V 2 Comments
32 John

John is not underused. I know thirteen people named John. - BabyBackBaby

Also you can not make John Jack. - BabyBackBaby

I love that name some one in my school is could that and he is very cute I mean very cute

I really like this name. It's underused and it can be made into cool nicknames like Jack or Johnny. What kind of idiot put this here, it's a really dumb creature. - EdRed

V 3 Comments
33 Tom

This dude in my class named tom. aka the most annoying person every created

Tom? And what would you name your other boy? Jerry? - Epicsauce45

Tom is a name for a guy with a massive head and small feet

Tom is so boring. Just like jack. Snore!

V 7 Comments
34 Wilburforce

Because will was just too mainstream

This is actually my favorite name ever.

Its magical

love this

V 11 Comments
35 George

George is a perfectly good name

George memeulous

Curious George

You have insulted our robot
i shall find you and spank you

36 Jeremy

He seemed a harmless little f***.

Never met a Jermey I liked!

Ugly ass name

Jeremy is a fine name

V 6 Comments
37 Adalfried


I love names that are hard to pronounce

38 Milhous

This is the most funny sounding name, and yes it's real. Ever wondered what the "M" stands for in "Richard M. Nixon"

"Everything is looking up Milhous! "

Milhouse van Hauten (It's he dutch? ) - RobloxBFDIPoke223

This sounds like Milkhouse

V 1 Comment
39 Facebook

In my opinion, this is a very good name. It's Truck Month!

Might as well name his siblings Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, Snapchat, and Tik Tok.

Anyone who decides to name their kid Facebook needs mental help.

If you want to name your son after Facebook then name him Mark. - DrBobLemon

V 13 Comments
40 Hayley

Hayley is a girls name and whoever put it in was a dumb A - Chipchic

Who in the world putted this here! This is a girl's name no boy name! What stupid idiots are out there I saw a girl's name on this list more than once. Hayley is a pretty girl's name whoever putted a girl's name on this list is gettin TORTURED! I MEAN IT!

I actually heard of Hayley being a guys name... In the third grade a girl name Hayley said that if she was a boy her name would still be Hayley but yah it still appears to be weird to me

Um, why are girl names on this list? This is a list of worst boy names, not worst girl names. So this and other girl names should be off the list.

V 11 Comments
41 Eli

"I know an Eli and sometimes he can be nice, but usually he is a rude little brat that is self-important. NEVER NAME YOUR KID ELI because it will make him bratty."

What's wrong with Eli. I have a friend named that. I think it's a good name

There's nothing wrong with the name Eli. It's a great name and it totally doesn't even go in the same category as the other names on this list.

I have a friend named eli and he's super sweet

I think that this name sould be taken off the list. I have a friend at school named Eli. He's cute maybe even hot and kids are friends with him. Whoever made this list did not do very good-my opinion

V 18 Comments
42 Dat

Who even thinks of these?

I wish my name was Dat Boi Collin...now I know what to name my son. - DrBobLemon

I only give you permission to name your kid "that" as long as his last name is ass

Number 1 best name

V 8 Comments
43 Felix

What is wrong with this name? It's quite cool actually.

That is a good name

This is an unique and beautiful name many great celebrities have that name including my favourite YouTuber :).


V 35 Comments
44 Robert

I am called robert so the person who made this list can kiss my ass

My name is Robert and my parents called me Bob.I agree this name sucks because the name Bob gets bullied in school.Personal experience. - DrBobLemon

That's my dad's name I like rob better

What kind of CREATURE put this here!? It needs to die! - EdRed

V 4 Comments
45 Zachary


Hey my boyfriends name is Zachary and he HAS an ass

I am a Zachary and I am quite nice.

I love Zachary :-) x

V 3 Comments
46 Owen

I guess those parents watched to much total drama

I have a friend named Owen. It’s just spelled differently.

I'm an Owen, a guy who likes to draw, makes all A's, and is on his way to be an animator! EdRed, you're right. I'm a nice Owen!

That's my cousins name! It's a good name, at least I think it's a nice name and it suits him well.

V 7 Comments
47 Billy

It's not offensive to make fun of people's names.

Billy's not a bad nickname, but it's not really a very good real name for adulthood. Its not very formal. Maybe you should name them William (an underrated, cool name) and call them Billy for short. If you don't like William, you could also name them Bill and call them Billy. - EdRed

What! How you put BIlly name?! That was my school cottage worker who named Billy! - David39

Billy is my brother's name and my brother is a dickhead so yeah.GOD DAMMIT BILLY.See it makes sense. - DrBobLemon

V 11 Comments
48 Marluxia

Job Interview
"Hi I am Marluxia Johnson and -"
"Wait,you are named Marluxia? "
"I will make a typo on your name tag to Max."
"Everyone makes a typo with my name..."
"Your not getting the job." - DrBobLemon

KInda sounds like a disease

Remind me of my sister: sounds disgusting

49 Gaylon

Made up crap, you are pathetic if you name your son this

Whoever has this name must be fabulous

My friends names is Daelon. Better.

I know at least one older Gaylon. It's not made up. And it isn't appropriate for boys nowadays. I saw someone name their son Gaylon on T.V. (modern) and I made a face.

50 Bieber



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List Stats

8,000 votes
995 listings
11 years, 157 days old

Top Remixes (33)

1. Abcde
2. Blanket
3. Pinocchio
1. Gaylord
2. Dick
3. Angus
1. Gaylord
2. Ib
3. Seaman

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