Top 10 Worst Names of All Time

The Top Ten
1 Gaylord

This makes me think of a male gymnast from the 1984 Olympics named Mitch Gaylord. I would bet my savings that during his youth and adolescence, when people said his full name, they would change the "M" in Mitch to a "B". Poor guy...

This name was created way before the word "gay" was changed to mean homosexual. It meant something along the lines of "happy," so this name would actually suit some people before the 20th century.

I remember having a crocodile toy which I named Gaylord the Gator because it seemed like a good name back then.

Back then, I also wondered why everyone laughed when they heard me say "play with Gaylord".

2 Adolf

Why isn't this name above Gaylord? Gays are usually perfectly harmless, but Adolf is the name of the world's most evil person of all time, who was responsible for the killing of so many Jews. People would laugh at you for being called Gaylord, but would throw things at you for being called Adolf.

Had a kid in my school named Adolf. He was about 0.1% of Hitler's evil (since Hitler was so evil), but he was a jerk to me.

Let's hope you're not Austrian, don't have a thin black moustache, or have the last name Hitler. If you do, your life is over.

3 Dick

I know most people know this, but there's a store called Dick's. And if your name is Dick, you do not name a store after yourself. I'm sorry for all you Dicks out there - wow, that sounds so wrong.

Who the heck thought of a name like this? I hate cursing, and I hate this name and the word. It means something really nasty, and I pray for the people named this, O Lord!

Dick is short for Richard. Essentially, mom and dad would be better off naming their child the latter because immature people are increasing in numbers.

4 Version 2.0

I think their parents are lifeless scientists who spend too much time with their electronics to the point that they care more about their electronics than their kids and don't know how to raise a real kid. So, they name their kid a computer name to make it easier on themselves.

"Hey, Mr. Computer, how do I turn on your cousin, Version 2.0? He doesn't like me. I keep trying to turn him on by pressing the 'on' button, but he keeps turning off! Please help me!"

Oh my God, please don't name your child this. I mean, your child's not going to be a robot, for goodness' sake.

5 Alexis

Alexis is horrible because it's basically Alex modified. It's Alex by adding an "is" to it, which makes "Alex is." It also sort of disrespects me because my name is Alex. It disrespects all the Alexes, including the guy who destroyed the Persian empire.

He dated a girl named Alexis. She broke his fragile little heart, what a shame. Now all the Alexis' in the world are to blame.

I think this one beats all. It's funny yet offensive in a silly, playful way.

6 Pubert

No offense to anyone with this name, but do parents actually name their children this? You know, if you want to call them Bert, you could always name them Bertrand or Hubert. But really, Pubert?!

You know those cute little nicknames that evolve from your real name, like Owie from Owen. His would be Puberty. Ha Ha. "Oh, Puberty! Come here, I want you right here." Ha Ha ha ha!

Pubert sounds like Hubert, laugh out loud. Puberty, like that other guy said. I don't mean to be mean - in fact, my name (classified due to privacy) is made fun of too in another list by a very unfunny idiot.

7 Porky

Okay, all I got to say is pork tastes bad. I used to love it, but now, no way. Porky is the worst name ever.

Like that boy or girl is fatter than a pig. And got a sibling named Beefy, maybe a father named Fishy.

Th-th-th-that's all, folks! Or am I in Mother 3? You know, screw it, it's a weird name.

8 Moon Unit

It sounds like a robot name or some sort of name for a rocket that is supposed to land on the moon. "Moon Unit! Time for dinner, data!" says mom. "Coming, Mom Unit!"

Yeah, this is a name. From the ever-creative mind of Frank Zappa.

Moon is a good name. Moon Unit is a name from a heartless, sick parent.

9 Caca

Caca means crap in Romanian, and it's a very ugly word. From the other comments, I learned it doesn't only mean that in Romanian. There were some poor villages in Romania called Cacova, meaning crappy, but the Communists changed their names. You can say whatever you want about Communists, but I think they did a good thing for these villagers.

A Brazilian Stock Car driver named Caca Bueno finished third in the recent season. His name translates to "poop good" or "poop well." That's a horrible name to have. Imagine him going on to the podium and the announcer saying, "Give it up for our race winner, Poop Well!" That is so embarrassing. By the way, Bueno means good in Spanish.

10 Olga

My name is Olga. I lived in London, so when I was younger, people in my class didn't see anything wrong with it. But after one year, there was this new kid in my class, and he noticed that my name sounds just like the word ogre (one of those green monsters, e.g., Shrek).

Then I got bullied and everyone called me Ogre, Shrek, green blob (I was quite chubby), or monster. Then I moved back to Poland, where I originally came from, and I got lots of compliments on my name.

I had an English teacher named Olga. She was a terrible teacher. She pronounced "island" as "is-land" and scolded me in front of the whole class when I pointed out her mistake.

The Contenders
11 Ian

The worst nickname of all time, in my world, is Baby Ian. When you look at the words, it's not so bad, but when you are having a super bad day and your temper is rising, your mortal enemy calls you a baby...but with the name Ian, it just so much worse. I pity the Ians in the universe.

12 Gavyn

Really? This is what happens when people try to make up names, which they think are so cool, for their kids.

I'm pretty sure the name originated from people trying to make fun of boys named Gavin.

I think this is an accidentally bad pronunciation of Gavin.

13 Opal

Actually, Opal is a gemstone. I wouldn't name my child Opal though. It doesn't really have a nice ring to it, but it does look good written down.

In 4th grade, we had to read Because of Winn-Dixie, and the main character's middle name is Opal, but I always called her by her first name, India.

This name is a nerd name. I mean, it doesn't even symbolize anything.

14 Sextina

Parents: We should boost our child's probability of becoming a hooker!
Friend: How?
Parents: By naming her Sextina!
Friend: ...

This woman better watch out because there are a lot of perverts out there who love these types of names.

Someone had to be abusing this kid. Come on, this name isn't normal. It's like she's a sex slave for her evil stepdad.

15 Fluffy

Reminds me of a furry cat or dog. Hey Fluffy, want to fight? Might sound like you're too soft and going to lose. Is he or she actually furry?

This name is so bad that George from "Captain Underpants" was forced to change his first name to Fluffy.

Random person: "Hey, want to see Fluffy?"
Other person: "Oh, is that your cat?"
"What? No."
"Pet bunny?"
"Then who is Fluffy?"
"Fluffy is my Aunt's name."
"Yes, she's nice."
"I will destroy you."

16 Eugene

"Eugene Krabs! You need to stop sniffing your money and start managing the Krusty Krab!" I don't mean to be offensive. It was just too tempting.

It sounds like that kid in school with the dorky glasses and freckles.

When I think about this name, it's like "Eugene Krabs!"

17 Le-a

This name is actually pronounced "Le-dash-a." You pronounce the dash. If you don't believe me, look it up. It's the stupidest name ever.

When there is a dash in the middle of a name, you know it is going to be hard to pronounce.

Did they accidentally make a pencil mark when filling out the birth certificate?

18 Gertrude

I always hear this name in cartoons and nowhere else. Let's try to keep it that way.

I was almost named this. Good thing I got Grace.

Any name with "rude" in it is not a good idea.

19 Cody

This is from Warrior Cats, you know. See the second series.

It just sounds really weird to me. I don't know why.

20 Alex
21 Bartholomew

Sounds like you're throwing up.

What?! Bartholomew and Olga should marry each other and have kids named Bartholga and Olgmew.

22 Alexander

Sounds like drinks all night! Cheers.

23 John
24 Erwin

Reminds me of a bug disguised as a leaf for some reason.

It sounds like a little kid trying to say "Erin."

Erwin, Erwin, Erwin. Are you thinking of a bug in a leaf costume now?

25 Boris

When Trump has a better haircut than the most famous person with your child's name, you should give up.

Boris is boring! That's the first thing I thought of, so people may want to steer clear from this one.

This is the name you should give to a dog. Seriously! My dog's name is Boris.

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