Top 10 Most Douchebag Names

The Top Ten
1 Chad

Every single one of these comments hit the nail on the head! I work with a Chad, and I can't stand him! He's always talking about how he is better than everyone else. Nobody is smart except for him. He constantly makes sexual comments about every woman and brags that he gets all kinds of girls all the time (he's married, by the way! His poor wife!).

He constantly talks and thinks he's hilarious. The more I ignore him, the more he has to try and get my attention. He thinks everyone loves him, but there is not one single person here that can stand him. He makes me hate coming to work every day! He is the definition of a douchebag.

2 Brad

I can't stop laughing. I'm a Brad, and I'm writing this in between sets at the gym. I googled "Is Brad a douchey name?" and here it is. I'm a jock, did five varsity sports in high school (only good at one of them, haha), and I'm in a fraternity.

I work in sales and constantly joke around that I'm a huge player with a tiny penis. One of those is false, and you can guess which. Nonetheless, a good deal of my friends said they hated me before thinking I was a self-righteous ass, but now they say that I've warmed up. But who knows? Maybe they still hate me.

Whatever, I have to get back to the iron so I can get rejected by your girl.

3 Trent

In English class, I was talking about my cousin Julia's boyfriend, Trent. This one kid automatically said, What kind of douchebag name is Trent? I kind of know why he said that, but Trent is really chill.

Trent sounds like someone who would own a big boat because he has a small penis. He probably even owns a motorcycle to make up for his small testicles.

Trent would be the spoiled, preppy rich kid who goes to a private school and wears sweater vests, polo shirts, and khakis all the time.

4 Chris

Most abusive, cheating, lying douchebag who denies everything he does and blames his victims, then manipulates everyone around him. Master manipulators. Complete salesman. Narcissistic or sociopathic!

Watch out for Chris! He will wrap you into his world, then destroy you, and then blame it on you.

Chris is derived from ancient Celtic languages, roughly translating to fat curly-headed white guy who goes to prison for stealing his grandmother's Crown Vic. Whilst in prison, he decides he wants to be a black man instead.

5 Brandon

Brandons are soft, mediocre wimps - but they are so cocky, like they are the smartest, toughest, and coolest people in the world... only they aren't. They aren't even the best at sucking! Brandons are basically mediocre at everything, except they are the best at maintaining a gigantic, unearned ego.

I know a Brandon. He thinks he's a much bigger deal than he really is. He lives in a delusion where he can treat everyone as though they're beneath him when it's actually him that's beneath other people.

He refuses to take any accountability for his actions but probably won't like it if he was on the receiving end of someone's bullcrap.

6 Guy

I knew a kid named Guy, whose father was rich because he was a real estate salesman. He thought he was hot because his family drove really nice cars. Whenever he got into fights, his older brother would step in, backing him up.

The only plus side is that you can't forget his name. The only problem is, you want to forget the person who has the name.

I think a boy named "Guy" would be saying "bro" or "guy" in each sentence. For example, "What's up bro!" or "What's up guy! I am dating a girl just to use her."

7 Blake

Douche name on steroids, should be above Chad. The Blake I knew was charming but had a creepy 1000-yard stare in his eyes. He had a sense of humor that seemed edgy at first, but after a while, you'd realize what it really was: his capacity for cruelty showing through.

He knew what to say to seem like he was connecting, but really, it was just a strategy to find your weak spots for the attacks later. Basically, he was a sociopath.

I had a class with a boy named Blake. He was a mega douchebag. We had a class discussion on how different cultures view body hair, and his first comment was, "I would never sleep with a girl with a bush."

Also, we could be talking about animals, and he would go on a rant about how weed doesn't hurt people. Regardless of the validity of his statement, something obviously screwed him up.

8 Paul

I went to school with a kid named Paul. He would always call people by their stereotypes. I wore black one day, and he called me "The Oh-So Depressed Goth Girl" for ten years.

Paul plays defense like a douche. He also plays offense like a douche. As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, he does everything like a douche.

I'm sorry, but Paul sounds like an old man's name. An old man who farts dust and has bladder incontinence.

9 Brody

It has Bro right in the name. If you name your kid this, expect them to be put in the special education class and get horrendous tattoos. Also, do not be surprised when they get in trouble for grabbing without permission.

A guy who has a video game YouTube channel, but is infamous for his douchey attitude and love of pulling pranks and making cringey rant videos. May or may not succeed in school and get fat while eating McDonald's. His life will always revolve around his YouTube channel and never in success.

10 Justin

I know a guy named Justin, and he's a misogynist and brazen. He thinks that he's right and the world is wrong. Before he got to know me, he'd argue with me when I have an opinion about something or disagree, even with a reason, and gets defensive about it.

Even my boyfriend found his behavior distasteful, and that's his own friend.

We have one for a celebrity. Justin Bieber? Type in his name, and mostly you'll get "WHY JUSTIN BIEBER SUCKS." Other than that, that's the only douche I know with that name.

To be honest, I'm rooting for you guys, because nobody deserves a douche/sociopath/narcissist in their life. Be yourself as always, and send him to North Korea if you know he's acting a little funny. Chances are he's a psycho with insecurities.

The Contenders
11 Zack

Zack from Ghost Adventures. Wears shirts a size too small just to make his mediocre 'muscles' look bigger, wears those dumb hats which only actually look good on short, adorable girls (teenage, though), never lets anyone (Nick, Aaron) talk, and taunts the ghosts as if he were invincible!

In my school, the typical Zack has one (or both) ears pierced, wears pants so low they show off his American Eagle boxers, and if they're white, they act black.

I know a guy named Zack, and he is the douchiest person I have ever met, always trying to get the ladies but never can. Always wearing a gold chain to school with a ball cap turned sideways, and wearing a polo with tight sweatpants, he has his socks pulled over them. Douchiest guy ever.

12 Mike

My dad's name is Mike, and boy, is he rude. He just got a divorce and married someone else who is 29 years younger than him. During the wedding, he promised to help me get my cow to the fair. It was like two weeks after (they were in Florida - their flight was two days before the fair, which means he could make it). But he was out with his wife. Ugh.

The manager at my old workplace was named Mike, and he was a complete douchebag McNozzleton Johnson Jr., and a very mean alcoholic to boot. He would always (and still does) come into work piss-ass drunk, but he was in good with management and got away with it.

13 Kyle

I knew a Kyle from Maine who is a deaf furry and kept stalking and harassing a lot of women, including online. Of course, he lied about it. He also stole ideas from people online and tried to make them his own.

He then posted videos on YouTube claiming he was bullied by people, when, in fact, the opposite happened. He was lying about harassing people, lying about being disrespectful and rude to people, and tried to use his disabilities as an excuse to say he can do whatever he likes.

He also liked using the term "coon" a lot to describe a raccoon, even though one of those online chats had black people in it. He's a horrible person.

14 Chaz

Chaz is the guy who will do anything to hide his rare form of young adult erectile dysfunction, such as purchasing a 12-inch lift kit for his Dodge Durango along with a "Merica" bumper sticker.

Frat guy douche. Four popped collars, cargo shorts, and boat shoes.

It's like Chad, but he's from the nineties and changed his name.

15 Dimash
16 Jeremy

I met a Jeremy who is in a band at age 42 and still ghosts 21-year-olds because he is emotionally incapable of being straightforward. He teaches English at a secondary alternative school. He is super insecure and basically the epitome of douchebags. I guess it is not something you grow out of.

My ex-boyfriend named Jeremy couldn't stop lying and cheating to save his life. He thinks he's the king but has a huge inferiority complex!

I know a guy named Jeremy who goes around sleeping with girls and then expects them to stay with him after he's broken them.

17 Kayman
18 Scott

I agree on this name. It's like they are destined to be a douche out of the womb once given this name. I had a crush on a guy with this name, and he put me through hell and treated me poorly. He was an arrogant, egotistical, selfish ass. I told him that to his face and then had the nerve to call me crazy!

I have a lifelong history of dealing with douchey, loser Scotts. It just seems like an unstoppable trend. I have asked others, and they almost always agree after a moment to consider the Scott douches in their own lives.

I have a friend whose ex-husband's name is Scott. When he's sober, he's fine, but drunk, he does a complete 180.

19 Aiden

I only know one Aiden, and I do not like him. He keeps calling me, asking me, "Do you want to join my YouTube company?" I keep declining his calls, but the message does not seem to get across to him. When we do talk, he often makes sexual jokes and shows images of porn on the call camera.

20 Charles

I know someone named Charles. He always wore red headphones, and for some reason, he thought the best way to solve things was to run his helicopter into buildings.

If you know who I am talking about, you are a legend!

I knew a kid named Charles in school. He would always pick on me. He only stopped when I lost it and blew up in his face. The detention was worth it to knock him down a peg.

Oh my god, he is a sore loser all the time and will always make bogus calls. Besides, it sounds like you're trying to be fancy but aren't.

21 Shawn

The only Shawn I ever met had a head the size of a watermelon and an ego to match.

Looks like a creepy guy who lives in a van.

22 Dick

My name is so cool, all right! You beta males cannot make fun of me! I am Dick! Big Dick!

I just chose this because my dad's name is Richard, and I like causing chaos.

Dick: My name is Richard Grayson, but all the kids in the orphanage call me Dick!
Batman: Well, children can be cruel.

23 Jake

The penultimate mama's boy. Not accountable to anything, he's free to run amok while being given everything he asks for, all 100% expected. Parents are merely an ATM. He winds up on Twitter in various states of inebriation.

Lasts less than a month in college, will transfer at least four times by sophomore year before getting a job in his father's 'landscape' business.

I knew a Jake recently, and he was the worst person I ever met. I lost over $6,000 because he kept using the victim card on me by asking me for money and making up stories. When I finally say no, he would continue asking me until I either cave or outright ignore him.

24 Ceyden
25 Richard

He tries to spoil everything in Harry Potter for me or just anything I read. He is also a little egotistical prick who thinks he is nice, but almost everyone knows he is not.

Usually, the name of that deadbeat father who sits on the couch watching football all day, fat, wearing a greasy tank top, yells at his wife, and hits his kids.

It's like the movie with the little boy who has the name Richie Rich or Richard Rich. Very douchebaggy.

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