Top 10 Best Comebacks to Being Called Fat

So imagine you are a slightly overweight kid at school and some pimple faced kid comes up to you laughing and saying "Who ate all the pies? " What would your comeback be?

The Top Ten

1 I'm not fat, I just swell up because I'm allergic to idiots like you

Even though I don't really get called fat... this is one of the best comebacks I've ever heard.

Haha! Worked so well they haven't called me names for an entire month! Works so well! Love it!

Man this list makes me fell a lot better about being fat.

Yo Dat is true

V 14 Comments
2 I could easily say the same thing to your mother

I think u need some karate classes before saying that just in case they try to fight u

Heh, hilarious!


Oh snaaappp

3 I may be a bit overweight but you're ugly, and I can diet

Love this list laugh out loud! - moonwolf

4 At least I don't break a mirror when I look into it

This is just got to sting!

5 Be more original, idiot

It worked!

6 You better get your eyes tested because I ain't fat

This whole list is funny! - funnyuser


7 Bigger the better mate


8 I know, my weight is the equivalent to my IQ

What if your weight is over 200? - TwilightKitsune

Laugh out loud! I'll tell my friend to use this sometimes.

This doesn't work for a fat fifth grader, say, because they would still be like high 90s, and the acerage IQ is 100

9 I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat

Nice I can totally use that one

Thanks the bullets gone now

10 Thank you for noticing

I'm not fat, but I do have meat on my bones. And, er, yes, thank you for noticing. I actually love being a curvy girl ;D - Britgirl

...Never pictured Britgirl saying this - QuarterGuysApprentice

I go for britgirl laugh out loud - 808swag

The Contenders

11 Because every time I bang your mom she gives me a cookie

Oh my gosh this will be my comment from now on

Love it can't wait to use it

This is the best! - Fireboy

12 Fat is Ordinary. Stupid is permanent


13 I know my d*** is
14 I may be fat but at least I am not stuck with a mother like yours

If you are fat, this would be perfect when unorthodox. - PositronWildhawk

15 I'm not fat, I'm fluffy

This is something I would say if this happened! - Wolftail

16 I'm not fat, my abs are just anti social
17 I'm not fat I'm American

This is insulting to us Americans. I am actually really skinny. - RedTheGremlin

18 I Know You Are But What Am I?

They could say "pumpkin pie"

Dumbest comeback ever...

Tgis is stupid


19 At least I've stored enough when famine comes

...Lol! I'm not fat but dayyum, this is funny! - TwilightKitsune

20 I am pregnant.

This is ineffective - TwilightKitsune

21 Hey, your rib's sticking out!
22 At least I can afford food unlike you.
23 Hey it's chubby time!
24 You're gonna have a bad time
25 You always talk about yourself


26 All the better to sit on my dear
27 Well look who's talking...
28 I may be fat, but you're a retard. I'll take fat over stupid.

This is sooo true!

29 I'm not fat I'm just allergic to them shoes
30 Know the difference between fat and fun sized
31 Hey I'm not a mirror
32 Be grateful that I'm on Weight Watchers
33 Stop being so selfish
34 At least I ain't Dory the fish
35 Well at least I don't break a mirror when I look in one
36 I'm not fat I just swell with awesomeness
37 I'm just full of life
38 I’d rather be fat than be like you retard
39 I may be fat but you're ugly. I can do something about it - you can't.
40 I might be fat but at least I eat 3 meals a day



41 Quit calling me fat or I’m going to come over there and eat you!

Lol worked so well they almost ran

42 I'm not fat I'm cool
43 I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!
BAdd New Item

Recommended Lists

Related Lists

Top 10 Comebacks to Being Called Gay Top Ten Celebrities Who Are Called Fat But Are Not Top 10 Comebacks When Called Ugly Top Ten Best Reasons For Being Fat Top Ten Songs About Eating, Food or Being Fat

List Stats

200 votes
43 listings
4 years, 42 days old

Top Remixes

1. I'm not fat, I just swell up because I'm allergic to idiots like you
2. I could easily say the same thing to your mother
3. I may be a bit overweight but you're ugly, and I can diet


Error Reporting

See a factual error in these listings? Report it here.