Top 10 Best Comebacks to Being Called Fat

So imagine you are a slightly overweight kid at school and some pimple faced kid comes up to you laughing and saying "Who ate all the pies? " What would your comeback be?

The Top Ten

1 I'm not fat, I just swell up because I'm allergic to idiots like you

Even though I don't really get called fat... this is one of the best comebacks I've ever heard.

Thanks to the person who came up with this

Haha! Worked so well they haven't called me names for an entire month! Works so well! Love it!

Man this list makes me fell a lot better about being fat.

2 I could easily say the same thing to your mother

But what if that somebody who called you fat was very ghetto and what if they were black

I think u need some karate classes before saying that just in case they try to fight u

No not the mother. She didn't do anything wrong.

Heh, hilarious!

3 I may be a bit overweight but you're ugly, and I can diet

Love this list laugh out loud! - moonwolf

4 At least I don't break a mirror when I look into it

This is just got to sting!

Yo this works

5 Be more original, idiot

It worked!

6 You better get your eyes tested because I ain't fat

This whole list is funny! - funnyuser


7 Bigger the better mate
8 I know, my weight is the equivalent to my IQ

What if your weight is over 200? - TwilightKitsune

Laugh out loud! I'll tell my friend to use this sometimes.

This doesn't work for a fat fifth grader, say, because they would still be like high 90s, and the acerage IQ is 100

Over 9,000! - BreakFastBeast2005

9 I love my six pack so much I protect it with a layer of fat

Nice I can totally use that one

Thanks the bullets gone now

10 Because every time I bang your mom she gives me a cookie

Naw say there sister what if there mom is really old

Oh my gosh this will be my comment from now on

This is the best! - Fireboy

Love it can't wait to use it

The Contenders

11 Thank you for noticing

I'm not fat, but I do have meat on my bones. And, er, yes, thank you for noticing. I actually love being a curvy girl ;D - Britgirl

...Never pictured Britgirl saying this - QuarterGuysApprentice

I go for britgirl laugh out loud - 808swag

12 Fat is Ordinary. Stupid is permanent


13 At least I can afford food unlike you.

Say this to someone please!

Nice one this is great

14 I Know You Are But What Am I?

They could say "pumpkin pie"

A stupid comeback that babies use!

What you would say in school.

Dumbest comeback ever...

15 I know my d*** is
16 You're gonna have a bad time

Sans:You're gonna have a bad time


17 I'm not fat, my abs are just anti social
18 I'm not fat I'm American

This is insulting to us Americans. I am actually really skinny. - RedTheGremlin

19 I may be fat but at least I am not stuck with a mother like yours

If you are fat, this would be perfect when unorthodox. - PositronWildhawk

20 I'm not fat, I'm fluffy

This is something I would say if this happened! - Wolftail

I love this.

21 At least I've stored enough when famine comes

...Lol! I'm not fat but dayyum, this is funny! - TwilightKitsune

22 I am pregnant.

This is ineffective - TwilightKitsune

23 You always talk about yourself



24 Well at least I don't break a mirror when I look in one

Mmm I'm using this 100%

25 I'm not fat I'm just allergic to them shoes

No insulting someones shoes is dumb stop it

26 Hey, your rib's sticking out!
27 Know the difference between fat and fun sized

Love it! - RoseWeasley

28 I may be fat but you're ugly. I can do something about it - you can't.
29 Quit calling me fat or I’m going to come over there and eat you!

Lol worked so well they almost ran

30 Hey it's chubby time!
31 Be grateful that I'm on Weight Watchers

So dumb that its funny

32 All the better to sit on my dear
33 Well look who's talking...
34 I may be fat, but you're a retard. I'll take fat over stupid.

This is sooo true!

35 Hey I'm not a mirror
36 I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!

Be Eric Cartman

37 Stop being so selfish
38 At least I ain't Dory the fish
39 I'm not fat I just swell with awesomeness
40 I'm just full of life
41 I’d rather be fat than be like you retard
42 I might be fat but at least I eat 3 meals a day



43 I'm not fat I'm cool
44 My middle finger gets a boner when I look at you
45 Wow, you just noticed!? Your weigh must be like your iq

I regret this

46 Why do you care about my size?
47 So cool right, I feel so safe, genius like you will never bug me.
48 Then you're obese
49 I'm not fat, I'm thicc
BAdd New Item