Top 10 Reasons Why Valentine's Day is the Worst Holiday

Valentine's Day has a strange talent for taking something as simple as affection and turning it into a public performance with price tags, expectations, and aggressively heart-shaped everything. You are told to be romantic on schedule, sentimental on command, and somehow thrilled by an aisle full of stuffed animals clutching tiny satin hearts. Subtle, it is not.

The whole thing can feel less like a celebration and more like a seasonal audit of your personal life, complete with candy wrappers, awkward dinner reservations, and enough pink and red to make your eyeballs file a complaint. You may love love. You may even enjoy holidays. But Valentine's Day has a special way of making both seem exhausting.

The Top Ten

  1. It makes people feel bad for themselves

    It sometimes makes me feel guilty for wanting to stay happily single.

    It's there to remind single people that they are single.

    The holiday is pretty pointless.

  2. It's in February

  3. There is no anticipation

  4. It's commercial

  5. It's the most girly holiday ever

    Because they are the only ones who care about it, so they can tell their boyfriend to do something and then be disappointed with him.

  6. It's in the middle of winter

  7. You get candy at Easter, Christmas, and Halloween already

  8. You should show your love every day but you don't need to do it with chocolate and plush toys

  9. Stuff is out in stores the day after Christmas

  10. It's the holiday that causes the most pressure

    Because if you mess up at all, the only thing you're going to be kissing is your relationship goodbye.

    11. The Newcomers
  11. ?

    It shows who's single and who's not

  12. ?

    Most Valentine's Day specials are terrible

    13. The Contenders

  13. You have to deal with lonely people whining about it on the internet

  14. It's the worst day for people who are single and lonely

    And any kind of day for people who are single and not lonely.

  15. It's all pink and red

    Pink and red are one bad combination of two good colors.

  16. It's not a bank holiday

    If it was a real holiday, why don't we get it as a bank holiday? Christmas Day is a bank holiday, Boxing Day is a bank holiday, New Year's Day is a bank holiday, and Easter weekend is bookended by bank holidays.

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