Top 10 Ways Santa Claus Could Possibly Die

The Top Ten
1 Falling off his sled mid air

The whole Earth would shake if he falls off his sleigh.

But I thought he had "magical powers".

Unless his fat reduces the impact.

2 Old age

I'm not sure he could die of old age, because he is at least 600 years old, or something like that. Unless he is already dead, and his ghost gives us presents! That would explain everything.

Well, yes, he was originally from the 3rd century, so it's surprising magic has kept him alive!

3 Stuck in the chimney

I'm honestly surprised he can even fit in chimneys without breaking them.

4 Food poisoning

That's why you should check the expiration date before giving food to Santa. If you live in a country like Australia, that means you could accidentally poison Santa. He might then lie down in your house, leaving you with a bag of all the toys meant for others. However, beware of the long-term consequences. If you live in a place like California, one of the last places Santa visits, you will have fewer presents.

Or poisoned food. Same thing, right?

5 Obesity related illness
6 Diabetes
7 Stabbed to death by his elves
8 Choking on the cookies

Going in a person's house to eat the cookies, he might choke.

9 Heart attack

That is the most possible for me.

10 Burnt in a chimney

Someone could have forgotten to put their fire out before Santa came down their chimney.

Imagine one of the families left the fireplace on and Santa went down it.

The Contenders
11 Impaled by one of his reindeer

It has been shown that reindeer like Rudolph are civilized enough to get bullied. This suggests they might be civilized enough not to attack Santa when they are hungry, but who knows.

12 Shot down by the military

That one makes sense too. However, there is a reason Santa has sleigh bells. They let people know it's him and not a menace.

Well, technically he's trespassing...

13 Mauled by a polar bear

Yes, that makes sense. However, I think Santa Claus knows enough about the North Pole to know how to deal with polar bears.

14 Suicide

He is a magical being, so few could kill him. Probably only himself, Jack Skellington, and Krampus could do it, and Krampus and Jack Skellington aren't on the list. I could also see him feeling suicidal as children are becoming increasingly spoiled, which might make his life's work feel unsatisfactory, so he might end it.

Have you seen the Family Guy episode where Stewie wants to kill Santa? If you saw that episode, this argument makes sense.

15 Starvation

Actually, he might need some exercise. So, depriving him of his cookies might be a good thing. I thought Mrs. Claus gives him things to eat sometimes.

He likely never ate besides one day each year!

16 Cancer
17 Alcohol poisoning
18 Infected by milk from crazy cows
19 Laughing to death
20 Type Two Diabetes
21 Catching Coronavirus
22 Allergic to gluten
23 Getting hit by a plane
24 Someone thinks he broke into the house
25 Drinking or eating poison accidentally
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